Leaked from the DAILY RECORD "Pre Match Report" Department
CELTIC 1 RANGERS 6
Rangers' march towards a historic second treble continued today after a storming display at Parkhead. The Gers went ahead just before the kick-off when McCann's through-ball sent the linesman away down the right flank. His cross was handled on the halfway line by a Tim defender, and Jorg Albertz stepped up to slot the ball home for his 65th penalty of the season. It was no more than Rangers deserved.
The 15th minute saw the Ibrox men go two up after Alan Stubbs was penalised for spitting just outside the area. Giovanni van Bronckhurst's free kick hit the back of a defender's boot, bounced up and was headed powerfully by referee Hugh Dallas into the top corner of the Celtic net. It was no more than Advocaat's troops deserved.
The 21st minute saw more trouble for Celtic, when Viduka was sent-off for enquiring about the referee's Rangers tattoos. Two minutes before the interval, Celtic struck back after an amazing piece of good fortune. Wright hit home the rebound after a Moravcik shot had been stopped on the line by Dallas. Rangers could scarcely believe their bad luck. Dick Advocaat was apoplectic with rage by now at the way the game was going.
The restart saw the unsportsmanlike Lambert making ridiculous claims for a penalty after Sergio Porrini had accidentally beaten up Mark Burchill. The referee had missed the incident, due to his blue scarf blowing in his eyes.
Ten minutes later, Advocaat took of Rod Wallace and replaced him with Amato and Johannson. Rangers third came after Jackie McNamara had been caught offside in his own penalty area. Lorenzo Amoroso took the free kick, which bobbled home after hitting the underside of the stand roof. Hugh Dallas claimed the final touch. It was no more than the glorious Bears deserved.
Goal number four for the champs came just after ninety-eight minutes, when Tom Boyd conceded a free-kick just outside his own area for blatantly looking at the referee and linesman's funny handshake whilst in the centre circle. Van Bronckhurst stepped up and proceeded to curl the ball just wide of the post for Rangers' fourth.
The Teddy Bears slotted goal number five from the penalty spot after Henrik Larsson had taken stomach cramps. Hugh Dallas sent him off for diving and awarded Albertz the penalty. He missed, but the referee decided it should count, because based on past records, the big German rarely missed. So 5-1 at full time, but the referee agreed to call it 6-1 after Advocaat threatened to report him to the SFA if he didn't.