[Ext.  The V.A. hospital]

[Int. Lift in the V.A..  The two hillbilly sons step out of the lift.  I couldn't work out their names so I'm going to call them HB1 (the shorter one) and HB2 (the taller one).  They walk over to the desk]

HB1: Hey there pretty lady.  We're looking for a fellow by the name of Murdock.
NURSE: Are you friends of Murdock?
HB1: Well yes ma'am, we’re real good buddies of Mr Murdock's
NURSE: Mr Murdock's in room 104.  It's down the hall and to your right.
HB1: Thank you ma'am [tips his hat]

[Int. V.A. Outside Murdock's room looking through the grill. Murdock is kneeling on his bed playing a video game.  There's a note stuck on the door.]

HB2: [looks at note] Guess he don't want to be disturbed.

[HB1 pulls out gun and fires through the door.  Murdock dives off the bed and ducks behind it.  The HBs barge in.  HB2 points his gun at Murdock.  Murdock looks up at him, still holding the game controller.]

HB2: All right, let's go.
MURDOCK: Uh, why did you just blow a hole through my door?
HB1: Shut the hell up.  I'm going to tell you this just once, flyboy, keep your mouth shut and do what you're told or they'll be picking you off the walls.  Got it?

[Murdock looks at him but is still trying to play his game.  He climbs over the bed as they haul him out of the room.]


[Int.  V.A. corridor.  HB1 fires a shot into the air.  General chaos as they hustle Murdock down the corridor.  He's trying to put his jacket on.  They shove him into the lift and he puts his hands in the air.]


[Ext.  A red pickup truck drives away from the hospital with an Indian sat in the back.]

FACE: [voice over] What happened here?


[Int.  V.A..  Face is dressed as a doctor.  He's talking to the nurse from earlier.]

NURSE: It was horrible.  There was nothing we could do.  It was frightening, really frightening.  I thought we were all going to be killed.
FACE: Ah.  Just calm down.  Just relax. [puts his arms around her] You really did very very good through this.  Tell me, exactly what have you told the police.  I mean, what did the men look like…
NURSE: They were just two big guys.  They talked like hillbillies.  I called the military; they're on their way.
FACE: You called, the, uh, military?  [looks worried]  Well, I'm sure the police will want to ask you some more questions but really, I must be going.  [heads for the lift]


[Int. V.A..  Face watches the lift door open to reveal Decker.  They stare at each other for a moment.]

FACE: Decker.

[Face legs it.  Decker draws his gun and follows.  MPs charge past a line of doctors looking for Face.]

DECKER: Peck must still be in here. 


[MPs run down the corridor.  One of them sees someone wheeling a laundry cart and leans to check inside it.  Face pops up and knocks him out.]

FACE: [to the rather confused looking guy wheeling the cart]  Thanks.  [climbs out]


[Ext.  Film lot.  Face and B.A. outside Hannibal's trailer, looking at his lizard head.]

FACE: I'm telling you, Hannibal, they tore the whole floor apart.  Scared everyone on duty half to death.
B.A.: These guys who took Murdock, man, they got shotguns.  Who knows what they gonna do to him?  We gotta go after him now.
HANNIBAL: [looking out of the trailer] Yeah, but which way?  We haven't got a direction.
FACE: D'you think this is Decker's way of drawing us out?
HANNIBAL: Two Hillbillies with shotguns – that's not Decker's style.
B.A.: What we gonna do, Hannibal?  They might kill him.
HANNIBAL: If they were going to kill him they would have done it at the hospital.  I've got a feeling they want him alive.
FACE: Yeah they'll probably try and make contact with us.
HANNIBAL: Yeah.  But the only number that Murdock knows is the mobile phone in the van.  Lets go.
PRODUCER: [banging on the trailer door] Okay, Smith.  We've got the shot set up.  We're waiting for you!  [Hannibal comes out]  The scene's where you grab the girl and drag her back to the nest where the eucalyptus tree is.

[Hannibal hands him the feet from the lizard suit]

PRODUCER: What are you doing?  Where are you going?
HANNIBAL: I think it'll fit but the pants leak.
PRODUCER: [following Hannibal as he walks off] Wait a minute we've got to set up this shot!  You can't go off like this!

[Face grabs the producer to stop him.]

FACE: Here, here here, Put him on report…again…
PRODUCER: [pointing after Hannibal] But!


[Ext.  Looking into the window of the pickup.  Murdock is sat between HB1 and HB2.  He's clearly rather agitated]

MURDOCK:  All I asked you was how much further it is!
: You haven't stopped since we left the hospital!
MURDOCK: We're going out of state aren't we?  I mean, this is going to be a long drive.  I hate long drives.  I get so nauseated.  [fans his hands in front of his face]  Can we turn on the flow-through ventilation or something?  Hey, why don't you watch the speed limit there!  [looks back and forth at them]  Hey, you aren't even wearing your seatbelts!  Why aren't you wearing your seatbelts?
HB2: You gotta stop man!  You been going on for two hours!  What are you crazy?
: Well of course I'm crazy.  You got me out of the psychiatric ward at the V.A. hospital, stupid!
HB1: [grabs Murdock]  Hey!  You know what I do to guys who don't shut up?  I takes me some piano wire and sews their lips together.
MURDOCK: That would hurt.
HB1: Yeah.  Don't take but a minute.  You think about that.

[Murdock puts his hands either side of his face and shuts his eyes.]


[Ext.  Pickup driving along the road up to the bounty hunter's house where it stops.  The bounty hunters jump out and hustle Murdock along.  He seems to have forgotten about the earlier threat and is chattering again.  HB1 has hold of him by his jacket which isn't making him very happy]

MURDOCK: My jacket didn't have wrinkles in it before.  And look at my …(inaudible)…  all scuffed up.  Is there a Laundromat around here?  I know I saw a Laundromat.  And I'm gonna need some change because I've only got a quarter and I know it's going to be at least 35 cents for a flood dry. And I'm hungry, you didn't offer me any burgers or fries…

[HB2 makes a grab for Murdock presumably to shut him up but the other stops him.  They start shoving and squabbling with each other.  Murdock is shouting too and it's all pretty incoherent.  After a minute Murdock pulls away from them and standing watching incredulously.] 

MURDOCK:  —Never seen anything like it!

[Pa bounty hunter comes out of the house]

PA: That's enough! You boys settle down.

[HBs 1&2 let go of each other.  Murdock looks at Pa.]

PA: Them's my two boys.  They get real excitable sometimes.  So you're Murdock huh?  I heard a lot about you.
MURDOCK: [shrugs] You heard about me?  I don't know about me.  What d'you know about me?
PA: Well, two tours in 'Nam, Silver Star, 3 unit citations.  Wounded twice.  Best damn huey chopper pilot we had.

[Murdock doesn't looked particularly impressed]

MURDOCK: I don't mean to be pushy but, what…what am I doing here?
PA: You see, me and my two boys and the Indian here, we're bounty hunters. Yeah, best there is.  And there's three men out there somewheres calls themselves the 'A-Team'.  Now the army's offering up a big reward on them, dead or alive.
MURDOCK: [looking confused]  A… A-team?
PA: And you're going to help us catch them.  [to HBs]  Get him in the house.

[The Indian grabs Murdock by the back of his jacket and shoves him indoors.]

MURDOCK:  Catch what?  A-Team?  I don't know what you talking about!   Bounty hunters.  A-Team.  Bounty hunters.  This A-Team!  I don't know what you're talking about!  I'm just a guy from a mental ward!

[The Indian shoves Murdock down on a chair]

PA: Tie him up.

[The Indian puts down his gun and gets some rope.  Transcribers note: I know nothing about Indian tribes so the names here are probably wrong.]

MURDOCK: [to Indian] You know you look Chepwa.  You Chepwa?  No you not Chepwa.  You Chumarche?  Chumarche?  No not Chumarche, they roam California.  No you ain't Chumarche, you Cheyenne?  You Cheyenne?

[HB2 is preparing guns on the kitchen table.  The indian returns with the rope and ties Murdock to the chair.]

MURDOCK: [to Pa] He always stare like that?
PA: The Indian?  Yeah, when he's mad.

[Murdock looks worried]

HB2: We gonna do it?  We going get the A-Team.
PA: We gonna do it when I say we're gonna do it.  I been collecting on bounties for 35 years and I know what I'm doing.  And this A-team bounty is the one I've been waiting for all my life.  And I aim to see that everything goes just right.
HB2: We'll get 'em daddy, don't you worry.
PA: Well, we'd better get 'em.

[Pa walks back over to Murdock who is looking distinctly unhappy.  Pa picks up a phone and holds it in front of Murdock.]

PA:  And now, you're going to put in a call to your friends.  'Cause I expect they're real concerned about you right about now.

[Murdock looks at the phone.]


[Ext. A-Team van driving along]

[Int. van.  Phone rings, Hannibal answers it.]


[Int. Pa's house.  Pa is holding the up for Murdock to speak into.]

MURDOCK: Colonel, there's someone here who wants to talk to you.

[Pa takes the phone back.  During the following conversation the scene cuts from Pa's house to the A-Team van]

PA: Yeah.  We got you man here, Smith.  I hear you and your boys are pretty tough.
HANNIBAL: Why do you want Murdock?
PA: Well it ain't Murdock we want.  It's the three of you we're after.  The military's offering up a big bounty on you and I aim to collect on it.  Now if you want to see Murdock again, you, and Peck, and Baracus will come to me.  Now take this down, I'm only gonna say it once. 


[Ext. A-Team van, driving]

PA: You're going out of town on route 9, up to Bedford Falls.  When you get there there's a bar called the Hat Rack(?).  There's a pay phone in the back of that bar.  You go there.  Wait for my call, and remember someone's watching you every second from the minute you get into town.  Now if you don't answer when I call, your buddy Murdock here's gonna be dead meat.


[Ext.  The van pulls up to the bar.]

[Int  Hannibal gets out and hurries inside to the ringing phone.  He answers it.  Scene cuts between the bar and Pa's house during the conversation]

PA: Well now, howdy partner.  I'm glad you could make it.  I was just about to hang up.  And that would have made you buddy Murdock here feel right poorly.
HANNIBAL: Yeah well I'm here.  Now what do you want?
PA: Now you're going to take the road out of town.  That's what.  Go on along the road 'til you come to Pine Crest Drive.  Take a right.  You follow that along until you come to the junction.  You take the left fork go on 'til you find an abandoned campsite.  There you're going to stop and you're all going to take off your jackets.  You're going to get out of the van and put your hands in the air.  Now, I see any of you guys packing something and I'm gonna gutshoot every one of you.


[Int. Pa's house.  He hangs up the phone.]


[Int.  Bar.  Hannibal hangs up and heads out to the van, past HB2 who is sitting at the bar.  HB2 goes to the phone and dials.]

HB2: [into phone] Hey they just left.  They're on their way, Pa.


[Ext.  B.A. halfway up a telephone phone tapped into the call.]

PA: [on phone] Good.  Get back home right away.


[Int.  Van.]

HANNIBAL: Anything B.A.?


[Ext.  B.A. up the telephone pole.]

B.A.: Yeah, some guy used the phone right after you left.  I heard him tell whoever he was talking to that we were on the way.  I got the number.  5552944.


[Int. Van]

HANNIBAL: [writing down the number] Got it.  We'll swing by and pick you up.


[Ext.  B.A. getting down from the pole.  The van pulls up and he gets in.  B.A. gets in the drivers seat and Face climbs into the back.  Hannibal hands him the phone number.]

HANNIBAL: We're working against the clock.  We've got to get the address off this in five minutes.
FACE: Five minutes? 
HANNIBAL: Now don't tell me the Faceman's getting slow in his old age.
FACE: All right all right.  Five minutes.  But I'm going to have to borrow B.A. and his toolbox.

[B.A. turns round to look at him]

B.A.:  Me?  Man, I ain't no good at running scams.
FACE: B.A., I'm going to do all the work.  All you do is enter on cue and say what I tell you.  Just, like being an actor.

[Hannibal gives Face a Look.]


[Int.  Telephone exchange.  Face comes in with hard hat and tool box and started banging clips into the floor.]

OPERATOR: [talking on phone] Operator, … I'll get that number.

[Face is making rather a lot of noise.]

OPERATOR: [to Face] Uh, can I help you?
FACE:  Oxlead Construction.  Won't be more'n fifteen minutes.
OPERATOR: [stands up] What's going on here?
FACE: Power outage.  Got to patch into the main cable.
OPERATOR: Well, no one told me about any of this.
FACE: You mean you didn't get the paperwork sent over from the main office?
OPERATOR: Paperwork?  No, I didn't get anything.
FACE: Uh Huh.

[Phone rings]

OPERATOR: [on phone] Operator, yes, please hold, I'll connect you.  [She completes the call and turns back to Face]  What company did you say you were from?
FACE: Oxlead Construction.  Baracus, you got those drills?

[B.A. enters, also wearing a hard hat and holding a drill.  He hands the drill to Face.

FACE: I just got to drill a couple of holes here.

[B.A. walks over to the operator]

B.A.: Hey man, she ain't got no hat.
FACE: Oh, No hard hat huh?
B.A.: None.
FACE: Building code 114 section 29: everyone working in the area of a construction has to wear a hard hat.
OPERATOR:  Well I'm the only operator on duty.  I can't just leave.
FACE: Well Baracus, d'you think you could take her out to the van and fit her with a hard hat?

[B.A. takes her arm to lead her out]

OPERATOR: But I can't leave the board.
FACE: Oh the board, don't worry about the board, I'll take care of the board, no problem.  There you go.

[B.A. tows the operator out and Face uses the computer to find the address while they're gone.  B.A. and the operator come back in.  She's now wearing a hard hat]

FACE: Well now, that's perfect.  Nice fit.  Nice colour.

[Operator smiles at him and fluffs her hair.]

FACE: [To B.A.] Can I see you in the truck?

[Face and B.A. leave the rather bemused operator standing there.]


[Ext. B.A. and Face return to the van]

FACE: 125 South Mason Road, 4 minutes and 27 seconds.  Not B.A.d huh?  Slowing down in my old age….
HANNIBAL: Okay, here's a way we can get behind the houses on Mason Road.  Let's go B.A., we've got about 20 minutes.

[Van pulls off]


[Int.  Pa's house.  HBs are checking their guns.    HB1 points his gun at Murdock's reflection in a mirror and pulls the trigger.  Apparently it's unloaded.  Murdock is watching them.  He's still tied up and now he's gagged too, having obviously not shut up.]

HB1:  Man, I can't wait to feel this baby kick back against my shoulder.
HB2: [pointing his gun at Murdock] We're going to blow these guys away, right, Pa?  You promise we're going to blow them away?
PA: Remember what I always been telling you — 'Dead or Alive' means dead.  All right let's move out.

[They grab their guns and leave.  As soon as they're out of the door Murdock stands up carrying the chair with him.  He breaks it against the wall and struggles free of the ropes and gag.  He listens at the door as the pickup pulls off then dives out of the window.  The Indian hears him and bangs on the window to stop the pickup.  The bounty hunters jump out and shoot at Murdock who legs it.  They jump back in the pickup to chase him.


[Int.  Hannibal and B.A. break in Pa's house and find the broken chair and ropes.]

HANNIBAL: Looks like Murdock escaped.
B.A.: We've gotta find him, Hannibal.
FACE: [calling from outside the broken window] Colonel!
HANNIBAL: Yeah, Murdock escaped all right.

[Sound of sirens]

FACE: Oh, we've got company.  Decker.
HANNIBAL: Someone must have spotted us driving down this road.  Let's get out of here.

[They run back to the van and drive past Decker.  Decker fires at them and clips the pone aerial.]


[Int. van]

B.A.: Poor old Murdock.  Out there all alone.  Being chased by those bounty hunters.  If they do anything to him…
FACE: B.A., I've never heard you so concerned about Murdock.
B.A.: I'm not concerned.  It's just that the crazy fool can't help himself.
FACE: I think we're seeing a whole other side to Mr Baracus here.
B.A.: You ain't seeing nothin'.  Now let's get Murdock.
HANNIBAL: [checking phone] Hey, he can't call us on this.  One of Decker's rounds must have taken the aerial out.  Go to the contingency plan, Face.


[Ext.  Filling station.  A blue van pulls up with 'Dr Kelly Stevens: Veterinary Medicine' written on the side of it.]

KELLY: Fill her up, Sam.  Oh and don't forget to check the oil.

[Murdock runs across the road, to the payphone in the filling station.  As he's dialling he sees the bounty hunters' pickup drive by.]

OPERATOR: I'm sorry, sir, that mobile phone you're trying to reach is out service.

[Murdock puts the phone down and looks around.  He sees the blue van and hides in the back.  A dog whines as he gets in.  Kelly returns and drives off.]


[Ext.  Blue van driving down the road.  Pickup drives up behind]

HB: Pulls over.  Hey!  Pull the van over lady!

[Indian waves his gun and bangs on the side of the van.  The pickup runs the blue van off the road.  The bounty hunters get out, waving guns and pull Kelly out of the van.]

HB: Get out!
KELLY: Please!  I've got some money.  It's in my purse.  You can have it.
PA: It's not your money we want, little lady.  [to HB1]  Check the van.

[HB1 pulls open the rear door of the van and is confronted by a barking Alsatian dog.

HB1:  Ahh!  [Slams door shut]  I'm going to blow that dog over half this county!

[Kelly jumps in front of the doors.]

KELLY: Don't!  Please.  Homer didn't mean to hurt you.  You just scared him that's all.  He's only a dog.
PA: Put it down.  [HB1 hesitates and Pa walks over and grabs the gun]  I said put it down!  I don't want no more gunshots round here.  We already got half the county police out here now.  [to Kelly] Little lady just consider yourself lucky we didn't find what we were looking for. Now I'd suggest you get back in that van and hightail it out of here.  And just be grateful you're still breathing.

[Kelly gets back in the van and drives off.]


[Int.  Kelly's  van.  Sound of a dog whining.  Kelly stops the van and pulls a gun from the glove compartment.  She goes to the back of the van and pulls open the door.  Murdock is lying in the back with his arms around the dog.]

MURDOCK: Hi.  I guess you're wondering what I'm doing here in the back of your van.  [he sits up]  It's a nice dog you got here by the way.  [Murdock strokes the dog and starts to climb out of the van]
KELLY: Stay back!  Now, I got a gun on you.  Now put your hands up.

[Murdock makes a pretty half-hearted show of raising his hands]

KELLY: Please.  Put your hands up.  I don't want to shoot you.
MURDOCK: Yeah, I can see you don't want to shoot me.

[Murdock smiles and jumps out of the van]

KELLY: What do you mean by that?

[Murdock goes to the front of the van and reached inside to fiddle with the radio.  Kelly follows him, still pointing the gun at him]

MURDOCK: You have a local A.M. station?
KELLY: Do you realise what I just said to you?  I've got a gun on you.  You know, I don't know who you are, and I don't want to shoot you but I will if I have to.
MURDOCK: [still fiddling with the radio] That gun loaded?
KELLY: You bet.  Now who were those men back there?
MURDOCK: Uh, they're bounty hunters.  You know, Captain Marvel redcaps work best in guns like those.  [smiles] Of course, at a pinch, I like to do that neat little sound you make with your mouth when you roll your tongue against the roof of your mouth and you go 'cacha' 'cacha' [makes gun noises]

[Kelly starts to laugh and lowers the gun.  Murdock smiles and continues to makes gun noises, pointing his fingers at her like a toy gun.]

KELLY: It's my nephew's, I found it in the van.  Look, if it's not too much trouble, do you mind if I ask you who you are and what those men were after you for?
MURDOCK: [stops smiling and looks serious] No, it's not too much trouble.  It's a fair question.  Uh.  My name is H.M. Murdock, and those sleaseballs back there are trying to use me to get to some friends of mine.  Now let me ask you a question?  If you had a feeling that there was someone in the back of your van.  Why… Why didn't you tell those guys?  Why didn't you turn me in?
KELLY: Homer.

[Murdock looks at the dog]

KELLY: He didn't chew your head off.  I've always found animals to be a pretty good judge of character.
MURDOCK: Yeah.  [nods]  Yeah.


[Ext.  Kelly's clinic.  Big house.  Lawns with sprinklers.]

[Int.  Kelly's clinic.  She's pouring tea.  Murdock is fiddling with the radio]

KELLY: You serious about this radio stuff?  [hands him a cup of tea]
MURDOCK: Oh yeah, yeah yeah.  It worked in 'Nam.  The colonel was once separated from his unit.  Right outside Da Nang.  On a recon sweep.  All communication was cut off.  So he just headed straight for the local radio station and we picked up his broadcast right over the jeep radio.

[Murdock sips his tea and looks back at the radio.  Some instrumental and not particularly inspiring music is playing.]

KELLY: It's not very good is it?
MURDOCK: [laughs] I can't believe this music!  I mean what happened to Van Halen, Boy George, Frankie Goes To Hollywood?
KELLY: Frankie Goes To Hollywood?
MURDOCK: Oh you'd love them.  [clicks his fingers] Got a great beat.  [smiles]
KELLY: I've got to be honest with you—I've never really liked that kind of music.
MURDOCK: What about the Rolling Stones?
KELLY: Oh, well I know them.  In fact there's a song they did I really like.  [thinks] Norwegian Wood.
MURDOCK: That was the Beatles.
KELLY: [looks embarrassed] Oh, well, I must have got them mixed up.
MURDOCK: What do you guys do for fun around here?  What about your boyfriend?  Where does he take you?  D'you have any favourite restaurants?
KELLY: Oh, I don’t have a boyfriend.
MURDOCK: Oh, what d'you mean you don't have a boyfriend?  You got to have a boyfriend.  What?  You been living behind drawn shades and shut doors?  I mean, you… [he walks away from her across the room]  You have to have a boyfriend.  You're a pretty girl.
KELLY: Well I have never thought of myself as pretty.

[Murdock puts down his tea and grabs Kelly's hand to pull her across the room to the fireplace.  He lifts a mirror from the mantelpiece and holds it in front of her]

MURDOCK: Pretty girl.
KELLY: You're crazy, you know that?
MURDOCK: [looking over the top of the mirror]  I know it.  How d'you know it?

[Kelly smiles at him]


[Ext.  Decker's roadblock]

DECKER: [pointing at map] I want this entire sector sealed off. Set up roadblocks here, here and here.  I want every road covered.
SHERIFF: Oh they will be.  My men will cover this are here.  I've got CHP units coming in.  They'll blanket the entire area of the roads there north of I5.  I tell you, Colonel, a church mouse couldn't get across my back yard without us knowing about it.
DECKER: Never underestimate the A-Team.  They've been trapped before and found a way to break out.

[Pickup pulls up.  HB2 tries to get out.  Pa stops him]

PA: What the hell are you doing?  I told you to stay loose.  They ain't looking for us. They're looking for the A-Team
HB2: How do you know they ain't looking for us? How d'you know that girl didn't go to the sheriff first chance she got?

[HB1 nods]

HB1: Rocco(?)'s right daddy. 
PA:  Well we're going to find out what's going on first, before anyone starts shooting.

[Policeman comes over to the pickup]

PA: Howdy, officer.  Seems like you got a few cars backed up.  What seems to be the problem?
OFFICER: Well we're looking for some fugitives believed to be in the area
PA: Have you got anything to go on?
OFFICER: Na, the only thing we’ve got so far is some hiker reported seeing someone hopping into the back of a blue van down at junction 16.  That's about all we've got.  We didn't even get a license number or description of the driver.
PA: Well I sure wish you a lot of good luck, officer.

[The pickup is waved through]

PA: That blue van has to be the one we stopped back there.
HB2: I remember the writing on the side.  Some sort of animal clinic, Pa.
PA:  Yeah?  Looks like we've got us an extra lead the police ain't got.  Let's go.


[Ext.  Radio station]

[Int.  Radio station]

BOB:  This is the old bucking bronco rider himself, Cowboy Billy Bob.  Now we've got here a special request, folks, from a sweet Suzie to her beau Jocko.  So I want all you hard-living, butt-kicking, floor-stomping yahoos out there to hunker down with your fillies as the Cowboy spins a little gold.

[He puts the record on.  Hannibal and Face enter.]

HANNIBAL: Coyboy Billy Bob.
BOB: Yeah.  Who wants to know?
FACE: Gee I think I should ask for an autograph.
BOB: Look, if you got a complaint, talk to Harry outside.
HANNIBAL: Yeah we did, he's entertaining a friend of ours.
FACE:  Oh yeah.  Gee I can't tell you what this means to me.  I mean here I am, actually talking to the Cowboy himself.  I mean. Billy Bob.  Billy Bob.  I can't wait to tell the little old lady.  I bet she'll never believe me.

[Face slips something into Bob's drink]

BOB: Okay, you've seen the Cowboy.
FACE: Yeah.
BOB: [sips his drink] Now why don't you make like a gun and shoot on out of here, okay?
FACE: [Looking at his watch] Four, three, two one zero…

[Bob falls asleep in his chair]

FACE: He'll sleep like a baby for the rest of the day.

[B.A. enters and he and Hannibal wheel Bob out of the way.]

HANNIBAL: Come on.  We haven't got much time.
B.A.: Suppose Decker hears Face's voice?
HANNIBAL: Come on B.A., we're not going to play them for Decker.
FACE: Yeah, well I hope it's a good one.

[Face puts on headset and fake radio announcer voice]

FACE:  This is the Faceman sitting in for the Cowboy, yes siree.  The facial phantom of the airwaves, and I'll be playing all those tunes you love to hear.  And speaking of love I'd love to hear from a very special friend of mine, one howlin' mad little lost sheep so if you're out there, Howlin' Mad, give us a call.  That number be 5553792.  And in the meantime, all you listeners, why don't you wrap your ears around these vibrations.


[Ext.  Decker's roadblock.  B.A. and Hannibal watching from the bushes.]

HANNIBAL: Okay, B.A., take your pick.  Plant the stuff, give me a call, and I'll pick you up in the van.

[B.A. creeps over to the cars and plants explosives on several of them.]

B.A.: Hannibal, all set.
HANNIBAL: Okay.  Count to twenty then hit the button.

[Several of the police cars blow up.  In the chaos Hannibal picks up B.A. and they race through the road block.]

DECKER:  It's the A-Team!  [rushes to car to get on the radio]  …To all units. This is Colonel Decker, I'm in pursuit of the A-Team van heading east on the old southern road.  All units converge on my position.

[Chase ensues culminating in the van jumping a downed bridge and leaving Decker stranded.]


[Int. A-Team van]

B.A.: It worked, Hannibal.
HANNIBAL: Like a charm.


[Int.  Kelly's clinic.  She's just finished treating a cat.  Murdock is wandering about carrying the radio and looking out of the window.]

MURDOCK: How's the little fellow doing by the way?
KELLY: Oh he'll be sore for a week or two, but with any luck he'll be okay.

[She stands behind Murdock, watching him peering out through the blinds.]

KELLY: Murdock, your friends are going to be okay.  And they will find you.
MURDOCK: Oh I know.  I know.  I can see the Colonel now, formulating a plan, Faceman moving and grooving and B.A. just worried sick about me.  I can see that ugly mud-sucker standing off in the corner of a room somewhere, just comatose with grief worrying about my health and welfare benefits.

[Murdock stares back out the window.  Kelly watches him.]


[Int.  Radio station]

[Hannibal and B.A. enter.]

B.A.: Hannibal you almost got us killed back there, making me jump my van like that!
HANNIBAL: Yeah, but we lost Decker didn't we.
: [to Face] Any word on Murdock?
FACE: No, nothing yet.
B.A.: Man, I'm really beginning to worry about Murdock. 
HANNIBAL: He'll find us, B.A.
B.A.: I tell you, if anything happens to that crazy fool… [thumps the desk]
FACE: [radio voice] This is the Faceman coming to you from KWRE. Yes sireee.  The facial phantom waiting to hear from our howlin' mad little lost sheep.


[Int.  Kelly's clinic.  Murdock hears Face on the radio.  He picks it up, nodding.]

FACE: [on radio] If you're out there, Howlin' Mad, give us a call.  Take the time get on the line.  Give us a howl.  The number is 5553792.
MURDOCK: [chanting while Kelly looks for a pen to write it down]  5553792 5553792 5553792
KELLY: I can't find any paper!
MURDOCK: 5553792 [Kelly finds some paper and writes down the number.]
KELLY: 5553792


[Int. Radio station.  Phone rings.  Face goes to answer it but B.A. gets there first.  Conversation cuts between the radio station and Kelly's clinic as they talk.]

B.A.: Yeah?
MURDOCK: Oh I like that, B.A.  Direct and to the point—'yeah'.  Actually it's kind of lyrical, says so much in so little.  I'm impressed, big guy.  I really am.
B.A.: Shut up fool.  Are you okay?
MURDOCK: A-OK, all my systems are functioning normally.

[B.A. hands the phone to Hannibal.]

B.A.: Murdock is fine.
HANNIBAL: Murdock, you got any idea where the guys are who grabbed you?
MURDOCK: No, I lost them a couple of hours ago, Colonel.  I don't think we need to worry about them.

[Int.  Decker's car.]

FACE: [on radio] This is the Faceman spinning a few tunes, and we're so happy we've found our little lost sheep we're going to play this very special number. 

[Song plays.  Not sure what song it is but the audible part of the lyrics include 'he's a wild one' which seems kind of appropriate.]

CRANE: All units are converging on the radio station, Colonel.
CRANE: Sounds like the A-Team are still there.
DECKER: They've pulled this little trick before.  Smith will never leave a friend.  And that will be his undoing.


[Ext.  Just outside Kelly's house.]

KELLY: If you've got to go, let me drive you!
MURDOCK: I can't, it's too dangerous.  In a few minutes this place is going to be swarming with military types and those bounty hunters will be running around like chickens with their heads cut off.  You've got to stay here.
KELLY: Let me drive you!  I know the back roads and I know how to avoid the roadblocks.
MURDOCK: I really love the way the corner of your eyes scrunch up when you get angry.
KELLY: Am I ever going to see you again?
MURDOCK: Of course you're going to see me again!  How could Murdock ever forget the mysterious lady in the blue van who appeared out of nowhere just to save him?

[Kelly gives him a quick kiss]

KELLY: Well go.  Before you see me cry.
MURDOCK: I'll call you when we're safe.

[Kelly goes back inside.  Murdock runs down the path then stops and comes back to call quietly through the door]

MURDOCK: I'll park your van by the side of the road. [pauses]  And I like you.


[Int.  Radio station.  The MPs and Decker burst in.  There's no one there, only a tape playing.]

FACE: [on tape] Well that was three in a row from Zobbo(?), Lefty Latham, and the one and only Billie Dean Jones which has been brought to you by the folks down at Barnsfield grain.  That's right, Barnsfield grain, has been serving the public since 1948.
CRANE: Colonel?  [points out the tape]  They must have known we were coming.

[Decker switches off the tape]


[Int.  A-Team van]

MURDOCK: You really missed me didn't you, big guy.  Admit it.  You missed me.

[Murdock grins and slaps B.A. on the shoulder]

B.A.: Miss you?  Man, I didn't miss nothin'.
MURDOCK: [to Hannibal] He missed me, didn't he, Colonel?  Didn't he?

[Hannibal smiles over his shoulder at him]

B.A.: All I know is we had peace and quiet around here for a while.  Didn't have to listen to your crazy jibber-jabber.
FACE: [listening to the radio] Well, looks like Decker took the bait.
HANNIBAL: Hope he enjoys the music.
MURDOCK: Colonel, can we stop off at the next phone booth?  I need to make a telephone call.
HANNIBAL: [nods] Over there, B.A.


[Int.  Kelly's house.  She's on the phone to Murdock.  The scene cuts between Kelly's house and the phone booth during the conversation.]

MURDOCK: Kelly.  It's me.  H.M.  I just wanted you to know that I made contact with the Colonel and we're on our way out of here.
KELLY: Murdock, I'm all right but—

[Pa takes the phone off her and speaks to Murdock.]

PA: Listen, you put Smith on, and if you want to see this sweet little thing again, you better hope Smith does what I tell him.
MURDOCK: [fierce voice]  Wait a minute.  You listen to me.

[Hannibal turns to Murdock to see what the matter is.]

MURDOCK: [very quietly and deliberately] You touch one hair on that girl's head and I won't sleep and I won't eat and I will find you.  And when I do I will feed your head to flies.

[Murdock hands the phone to Hannibal]

HANNIBAL: This is Smith.
PA: Yeah, Smith.  I got the girl here who helped your man.  She's a real nice lady and she's pretty scared right now.  You know, I think that gives me the upper hand.  Isn't it funny how things work out?  I thought I was dealt me a losing hand and I end up holding four aces.
HANNIBAL: Seems like you're lucky.
PA: You tell Murdock, if he wants to see his little lady again the four of you better hightail it out here.  Besides, I'm mighty anxious to meet you, but if you don't, I might just turn sweetcheeks here over to my two boys [laughs] They're nice boys.  Sometimes they just don't know how to treat a lady.
HANNIBAL: Now wait a minute.  The military has this area covered like a blanket.  We might not be able to get there.
PA: Oh come on!  The A-Team?  [laughs]  You got one hour, Smith and no tricks.

[Pa hangs up.  Hannibal looks at the phone then at Murdock.]

HANNIBAL: We got to be there in an hour.

[Murdock nods]


[Int.  A-Team van.  Murdock is leaning forward in his seat staring straight ahead.]

MURDOCK: If anything happens to Kelly, Colonel…
HANNIBAL: We won't let anything happen to her, Murdock.

[Face reaches across to put his hand on Murdock's shoulder.]

FACE: We're going to pull this one out.
B.A.: Yeah, have faith, brother.
FACE: Okay, Colonel, we're going to need a diversion.
B.A.: Yeah, 'cept those guys are going to expecting us to try something.
HANNIBAL: Then let's not disappoint them.


[Ext.  Some sort of garage]

HANNIBAL: We gotta do this fast, guys.

[Much fun with acetylene torches, tools, guns, and radio controllers before they pull out again.]


[Int.  Kelly's house]

HB2: I'm telling you they're not gonna show.
PA: They have ten minutes, they'll be here.
: I kinda hope they don't show.  That way me and sweetie-pie here can get better acquainted.  

[He sits on the back of the couch and squeezes Kelly's shoulder.  She pulls away.]

PA: I'm tired of telling you about keeping your mind on your job!
HB2: Aw, come on, Pa.  We got what we wanted.  The A-Team's on its way.  Let me have a little fun.
HB1: Pappy's right.  Don't mess things up.  That bounty's plenty big, even split four ways.  After we're done you can buy all the fun you want.
HB2: You mind your own business.  I'll take care of mine.
PA: Let's worry about the good times later.  Now you get out in the yard and keep an eye out.

[HB2 goes outside and sees the van pulling up]

HB2: They're here!

[They all go outside.  Pa is holding Kelly by the arm.  The team stop the van and get out.]

HANNIBAL: Okay, we're here.  Why don't you let the girl go?
PA: Sure.

[He lets Kelly go.  She runs to Murdock who puts his arms around her.]

MURDOCK: You okay?
PA: I've been waiting a real long time to have the A-Team standing there in front of me.
HB2: They don't look so tough to me.
HANNIBAL: Why don't you tell sapmouth over there that the game isn't over until the last hand is dealt?
PA: That's right.  Only this time you lose.  All right!  Take 'em out!"

[Hannibal triggers the control he has hidden in his hand and automatic weaponry appears from the front of the van and starts strafing the area.  Much hitting and fighting follows until the bad guys are floored.]

HANNIBAL: They never learn.  You gotta know when to hold them and when to walk away.

[Sound of sirens and the MPs turn up]

B.A.: Hey, man!  Decker!
HANNIBAL: [to Kelly] Give Colonel Decker our regards and ask him to throw these slimeballs in jail for us would you?

[Murdock gives Kelly a big kiss.]

MURDOCK: I gotta go.

[He runs after the van and jumps in.  Kelly is left standing watching it leave.]


[Ext.  V.A. gardens.  Murdock is sat on a rockery under some tress.  He's holding a book but isn't actually reading it.  One of the hospital staff approaches him.]

MAN: Murdock, you have a visitor.
MURDOCK: Visitor?  Uh, Do me a favour will you?  Will you go and find out if it's a bill collector?  If it is just tell him… Just tell him I ran out of stamps a couple of months ago.  He'll understand he really would.  He's really good like that.

[Murdock turns away again.]

MAN: It's not a bill collector.  It's a lady.
MURDOCK: A lady?  Where is she?
MAN: Waiting right over here.
MURDOCK: Thank you.

[Murdock stands up and looks in that direction.]

MURDOCK: Thank you.

[Murdock walks over to where Kelly is waiting, holding a pizza.]

KELLY: Well you said I could come visit you.

[Murdock closes his eyes]

KELLY: [sounding alarmed] What?  What's the matter?
MURDOCK: Nothing.  Nothing.  I'm just comparing you to a mental image I was carrying around in my head.  Sort of like a mind projection?  And guess what?
KELLY: What?
MURDOCK: It doesn't compare to the real thing.
KELLY: I've missed you.

[She smiles at him but he doesn't smile back.  He ducks past her under the tree.]

MURDOCK: I missed you too.
KELLY: Well, you never called.
MURDOCK: Well you know, they don't, uh… they don't give you any dimes in this place.  Think they're afraid you're gonna choke on them.  Know what I mean?

[He sits down at a picnic table and looks down at the book in his hands.  Kelly sits next to him]

KELLY: [sighs] Murdock, what are you doing here?
MURDOCK: [shakes his head] That's a long story.
KELLY: You want to tell me over a pizza?
MURDOCK: Pizza?  It got pepperoni and mushrooms on it?
KELLY: It's got pepperoni but we'll have to do without the mushrooms. 

[Murdock opens the pizza box]

MURDOCK: Ahhh!  You already took a bite!

[He grins at her and they both laugh]



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