An accountant gets home late one night and his wife says, "Where the

hell have you been?"

He replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."

"A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"

"I got a hundred dollar bill on my penis," he said proudly.

"What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in

disdain.

Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill on his

penis?"

"Actually," the accountant replied, "I had four reasons."

"One, I like to watch my money grow," he began.

"Two, once in a while, I like to play with my money...

"Three, I like how money feels in my hand...

And lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here

at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want!!