Week 4

Match Reports For Week 4 Sat. 23rd Sept. Season 2000 - 2001

Mens 1st XI

No report submitted.

Mens 2nd XI

No report submitted.

Mens 3rd XI

Staines Men’s 3’s - Match Report 23 September 2000. V. Yateley.

Today the spectacular Staines 3’s got to play on this seasons home pitch at Cranford for the first time. Yateley bravely started with only 10 players but endeavoured to take the game to Staines, but as it soon turned out Staines 3’s remained the utter bastions that they are and our defences could not be breached.

Although Yateley tried to formulate the occasional attack, most of the play remained in the oppositions half. Staines defence now strengthened with the return of Gizz who stormed around the pitch like a Giraffe on amphetamines, winning the hero of the day award. Soon we were winning by 4-0 with first half goals from Andy Taylor (he didn’t fall over), Alpesh (Rrrrggthh !), Goal Machine Rengger, and a short corner from the specialist team of Rowley/Rengger/O’Brien with O’Brien’s shot too powerful and accurate for the keeper to stop.

Phil Lazlo arrived 15 minutes before half time and kindly agreed to play for Yateley to add fire and penetration to their attack. Unfortunately he jumped straight into the Staines left back’s pocket and stayed there for the rest of the game.

Although Phil was able to give the opposition valuable inside info’ on how to beat Staines, the second half continued in the same vein as the first. Andy and Alpesh each scored again and Martin managed to bag a total of four goals which apparently made his nipples glow with pleasure (whatever turns you on mate). In our eagerness to get forward and ‘fill our boots’ in the Yateley D, the midfield was often left vacant, fortunately Gizz and Mr Safety swept up anything that Yateley brought into our half of the pitch.

Late in the game Whispering Sid’s ankle collapsed and while he was off the pitch bolting the bits of meccano back together, Yateley still could not provoke our goal keeper into breaking into a sweat. Final score was 9-0 to Staines.

As for Donkey’s Arse, know one really deserved it on the pitch so a soft target was selected. For getting the voting administration wrong Rob Godfrey was awarded the infamous shirt.

The stunningly excellent teas were provided by Mrs Amanda O’Brien and were well appreciated by both Staines and Yateley.