Match Reports For Week 8 Sat. 21st Oct. Season 2000 - 2001
Mens 1st XI
Staines 0 v Lions 3
Staines have one problem this season, putting the ball in the back of the net. Hours upon hours are being spent at training, working the ball into the net, but yet when it counts on a Saturday, the composure and patience is mysteriously missing.
Staines played well Saturday the defence and midfield combined well with the forward line, but the cutting edge in the last 25 was sadly missing. Lions scored in the dying seconds of the first half, when an uncharetiristic mistake by Larry gave Lions a very soft goal. Staines rallied in the second half and pulsating running by Hall and Stickman Servais probed at the Lions defence and good opportunities came and went with no reward.
Stukka on the side line was becoming increasingly frustrated with his sides lack of conviction and eventually thought he would try and help benefit his side with his infinite wisdom only for the umpire to take humbridge and show him the mighty green triangle.
As the minutes ticked away Staines pushed forward and Lions hit twice in similar fashion catching Staines on the break. The scoreline was flattering, but the simple truth is that Staines need to start finding the net or it could be another long nerve wracking season.
HA Trophy 1st Round
Staines 4 v Old Whitgiftians 2
A breath taking first half performance saw Staines romp into a three goal lead. Stuart Hall and Sid Hughes played brilliantly as Staines began to look like a side that meant business.
PeeWee opened the scoring, and then Chapman broke the stansion with a blistering penalty corner. Greeny made it three and the game should have been beyond reach for the Old boys. Staines went on to create more chances but the Whits keeper produced a blinding performance.
Whits started to edge back into the game as Staines began to get over confident and at 3-2 it was anyones game. The new comer to the side Jon Dodwell, working his way through the elevens scored his first goal of the season to make sure Staines progressed into the second round.
Mens 2nd XI
City of Oxford 2nd XI 2-1 Staines 2nd XI
With Captain Catastrophe regularly winning "Man of the Match" awards for the first team, cool, calm, collected Clive has enthusiastically and expertly taken the leader’s mantle.
In the pre-match talk, Clive advised his eager troops to learn from his own recent cup appearance for the first team by doing the simple things and doing them quickly. However, what happened after 15 minutes was not quite what Clive had in mind as he himself "simply and quickly" placed the ball on the end of the City of Oxford Centre Forward’s stick resulting in the first goal.
City of Oxford had put out a strong team and made life difficult although poor finishing from them allowed us to remain in contention. Mr. Dodwell provided an extra dimension with surging runs from the right wing….left back….etc. In the second half Staines started to create more chances and won numerous short corners many of which, unfortunately, were wasted. However, with 5 minutes to go, a short corner was partially cleared to Rodney Crowe who sent a telling cross into the danger area. It was met by Andy Oliver whose shot was saved by the keeper and the ever alert Phil Lazlo swept in the rebound with his reverse stick.
We would have gone home happy with a draw but it was not to be. With two minutes to go, a half-hit clearance from Oxford saw young Andy Nelhams struggling for pace against the centre forward and our keeper, Ian "Gooks" in a state of indecision as to whether to "stay" or "go". The result was a kick outside the D and a short corner, which Oxford converted. We were gutted.
James Hall took the Man of the Match award for his tireless running and soundly beat our Dick of the Day, Captain Clive in the drink-off.
Andrew Oliver
Mens 3rd XI
Staines Men’s 3’s - Match Report 21 October 2000. V. Oxford Hawks 3.
The church bells were silenced, black arm bands worn, dogs prevented from barking as the news swept the south eastern region of this sceptred Isle, that the Third Battalion of the Blue Army had finally succumbed. Defeated 2-1 by yon country folk from Oxfordshire.
It has been a full calendar year since the Staines 3’s last tasted defeat and in all that time the flavour has not been improved. Such was the disappointment, after an extremely good team display, that our cuddly skipper almost slipped and impaled himself on his sword.
The opening 5 to 10 minutes saw a youthful Hawks side full of running and individual skills causing Staines defensive bastions some problems. Unfortunately for a time, Sid’s free hits were erratic for which the Hawks were grateful. Rob Godfrey, the Housewives favourite, had his reflexes tested several times and remained a cool colossus in his goal. As the half progressed Staines gained more authority, with some superb team work and hard graft. Eventually Alpesh was sent free to dribble into the D from the right wing where he unleashed an unstoppable drive with his Number 3 Wood, 1-0 to Staines, to the sound of loud purring. The rest of the half saw Staines increasingly stamping our authority, Hawks unable to get another shot at our goal with their two forwards safely pocketed by Rowley and Dave ‘the pint’ Lacey.
The Hawks players must have had an average age of 22 compared to that of Staines 32 and it appeared to show at the start of the second half as Hawks swooped out looking for the equaliser. Still, through our solid team work and sheer hard work Staines maintained control of the game, Hawks still unable to raise Robs blood pressure even though he was prepared to dislocate his shoulder to stop anything coming his way. Then disaster, the Hawks centre forward finally managed to turn free of the attentions of Dave, youth prevailing, racing clear to shoot the equaliser, giving our keeper no chance.
Unfortunately Staines were unable to capitalise at the other end, several well executed short corners went unrewarded. A brilliant move by Staines resulted in the ball being delivered on a silver platter to Andy Taylor, awaiting its arrival at the back post like a Viking warrior wind swept and interesting, and taking an immense swipe with his mighty ‘axe’ he missed it.
Then against the run of play Hawks scored again. Deano had won the ball cleanly but almost as quickly had his stick chopped away by a Hawk lumberjack, who embarrassed that the umpire had not blown for the blatant offence, took the ball anyway to slot home. The last 10 minutes saw Staines permanently camped around the Hawks D - they were too scared to come out, we just couldn’t get the ball over the goal line.
Well deserved Hero was our pivotal Centre Half Twang Duffield, whose hamstrings have remarkably not failed since the carbon fibre and Kevlar reinforcements were added. Our skipper was given the Donkey’s Arse award for being kind to Hawks in the first 10 minutes.
Next week Woking (13-0 thrashers of Brighton) that might be a tough one !
Vince Rowley.
Mens 4th XI
West Hampstead 4's v Staines 4's at Brent Cross (Whitefield School)
Result: Lost 0-6
After the rampant win last week back to Earth this week. There again talk about continuity - we had to make SEVEN changes to last week's squad. A lot of us were playing 5's last season, and come to think of it this season as well. Both teams had a lot in common; youth, athleticism, skill, composure, awareness, fitness, good looks ???, but unfortunately we had them collectively whereas their players had them all.
With so many changes we took half an hour to get settled into a pattern - unfortunately by then we were 5-0 down. First in a comic scene two Hampstead players collided into each other, another picked up the ball and crashed over Gordon's leg and fell badly onto his shoulder - and then to add insult to injury Ben's clearance smashed onto the top of his head. The result a penalty flick - clinically roofed by their centre back - who looked uncannily like a younger brother of Foo!
Another shot squirmed in and then Vikash showed he had done his bedtime reading of the classic "Advanced Woodchopping For Hockey Players". The one-handed flick back over the top slash with a double twist and slide carries a degree of difficulty of 9.9 - and was completed to perfection. So was the second flick by Foo's time-travelling Doppleganger. 3-0 down - 15 minutes gone.
By now Matthew was ploughing a lonely furrow up front having being injured earlier and suddenly we were almost on the score sheet. Three time the keeper leapt in front of the big man's piledrivers - you could feel the wincing of pain - and then with another blow Matthew hit the post. Normal order was resumed with two goals from short corners. Half-time 5-0.
We rallied after an inspired team talk and with some truly magnificent covering and defending kept them down to a single goal in the second half - and that from a brilliantly worked short corner. We call came off elated - shirts so full of sweat you could ring it out into a bucket - so there was one attribute we had more than them - spirit.
To quote Arnie - WE WILL BE BACK ... hopefully with some of the missing, injured and elavated players back in the fold.
Mens 5th XI
No report submitted.
Mens Centurions
No report submitted.
Ladies 1st XI
21/10/00 After 2 league games, 1 cup game and a friendly on Saturday, Staines Ladies 1st X1 have made a promising start to the season. They have started the Middlesex Premier league with a 2-0 win against Hampstead and Westminster and a 2-1 loss against Hounslow and Ealing 2nd X1. A convincing win in the HA Cup 1st round against Fleet has lead to them meeting Shefford & Sandy in the next round on 5th November at their home ground at Indian Gymkhana in Osterley. A friendly game against Teddington 3rd X1 on Saturday 21st October kept up the good team performance, with goals from Melanie Attfield, Kerry Maskery and Jo Strudley providing the 3-0 win. Their next game is a friendly away against Eastcote on Saturday 28th October, which they will use to prepare them for their league game the following week.
Ladies 2nd XI
Chalfont St.Peters 1 Staines 0
Well, things couldn't have been more different to last week's 15-0 thrashing and we were soon back down to earth playing against the Chalfont St.Peters team. Lets put it this way, they soon had our defence making up for not having much work to do last week. From the outset, they put us under constant pressure, but we held on and had a few chances ourselves, one of which was scrambled across the goal line, only to be disallowed, and we are still left wondering why! So, at half time it was still 0-0 and in true Burkie words we were "phenomenal" and were relishing their frustration that they weren't winning. Chalfont then scored, but our defence remained strong and really helped the team keep a very respectable 1-0 result. They did score again, but it was disallowed, pure justice from our point of view! Congratulations must go to Anya who successfully kept her mare of the match award without even participating in the game!
Ladies 3rd XI
Staines 6 - London Transport 1
Well this week at 2.15 we had 12 players, unfortunately L.T. only had 7 so to give us a run for our money we kindly gave then 2 of our player Louise Clark (who was carrying an injury) and Carole the Goalkeeper. Staines went of to an early lead with a goal from Linda McCormack and by half time Kath Windsor Baynes had scored her familiar hat trick (Ed. - with the also familiar empty jug!!).
At the start of the second half Nick Laszlo decided not to continue due to an ongoing injury so we were back to 9 a piece. I think Staines were still reeling on being 4:0 up and L.T. took advantage and scored. Staines then woke up with another goal from Linda, unfortunately causing Carole the goalkeeper to over stretch and pull a muscle, which took her out of the game. At this stage we had supporters of nearly 10 and we managed to persuade Rob Godfrey to put on the colts kit and play in goal for them. Rob as expected saved one or two goals but with minutes to go Kath made a great cross from the top of the D to Linda who creamed it at goal going between Lou and Rob and ricocheting of the back board, (okay maybe it trickled but it was a goal). And who says the oldies cannot score!
There was no player of the match as the team worked hard together, but we did spot a new player with hidden talents, Alison, who will certainly be considered in the squad for the future. Thanks to Sid for umpiring who managed to spot most things, without even spilling his pint! Also the supporters who gave the necessary encouragement when required some of which is unfortunately unprintable. We look forward to our league game next week and on paper already have 12 players but it is only Sunday!
Ladies 4th XI
Staines Ladies IV XI vs Chalfont St Peter II XI 0 - 4
We had a good start to the game - 12 players, Jonathan Howell umpiring and playing on astro - we felt like we were on to a winner! There were also two new additions to the team - Ann (I don't know her surname) and Sarah Everett.
Unfortunately there was an early pulled muscle when Louise Clark went off after only 10mins - Sarah Davies replaced her - we tried to disguise this as part of our tactics - but I don't think that the opposition were convinced. To say that the oppo came with rent-a-crowd is an understatement - they had 2 coaches and were using rolling subs like they were going out of fashion.
Staines were up against a very well organised and strong side. Staines made some good defensive plays by Carla and Ingrid. Ingrid was also suffering from a pulled quad, but after applying the 'team Deep Heat' she battled on relentlessly. The midfield and forwards did well and made several breaks although they managed to penetrate Chalfonts' defense, they did not manage to find the back of the net.
15 mins into the 2nd half due to a slight hiccup in the D where Abi thought she was Tim Henman and decided to propel the ball with her glove which resulted in a flick. She subsequently made a stupendous save which contributed to her being voted 'Man of the Match'.
At the end of the day - the girls done good!
L Clark