Match Reports For Week 21 Sat. 20th Jan. Season 2000 - 2001

Mens 1st XI

Staines 7 Winchester 2.

The arctic conditions that had swept across England throughout the second half of last week had put Saturdays match in jeopardy, and on arrival at Osterley on Saturday the pitch was white and frozen. Fortunately conditions improved enough by 11.30 for the match to go ahead, but the playing surface was by no means perfect.

Winchester started the game strongest and took advantage of some mistakes by the Staines defence to apply early pressure. However, it was not long before the blue army were fully mobilised and laying siege to the opposition half, where they appeared to set up camp for the first 35 minutes. Watson, now convinced he is the only person suitably unskilled to patrol the far post, is often seen in the early minutes of the game, leg half cocked, marking his territory to promote his dominance in this area; and it was he who opened the scoring with a typically easy tap in from a short corner. Staines were now motoring, as wave after wave of blue shirts charged forward, and it was Liam who increased the scoreline further with two quickfire goals. It makes a refreshing change for Liam to smile on a hockey pitch, and today we all waved goodbye to the screwed up red face we are all accustomed too, as he finally found his form in front of goal. Larry, was to slot the fourth just before half time, with a blistering short corner that nearly ripped the net in half.

At half time we set ourselves a target of eight goals and went about continuing as strongly as we had finished the first half. Things did not quite go to plan as we gifted Winchester two goals in as many minutes. The first came from a lame short corner that trickled into the goal after beating both Robbie B and Larry. Of course both blamed each other for this mistake, but the whole team decided after the match that Rob was the real person at fault. The second goal came about from Staines once again giving away possession in a key area.

These were to be Winchesters only chances of the second half as Staines stamped their authority back on the game. Two goals from Squeaky (despite suffering from a frozen moustache), killed off Winchester, and the big man himself, JD, popped up in the 'D' to get his name on the score sheet, and would have doubled his tally if not for the umpire deciding that he had kicked the ball into the goal. This clearly had not happened, but we all sided with the umpire once the game had finished to incense the fiery character Dodwell. The game finished 7 -2, a scoreline that reflects another convincing win for the 'Mighty Blues'

Staines 8 Sunbury 3

A cold blustery Monday evening game and it was evident that Sunbury were a lot more enthusiastic about playing than we were. However, the moment the game started it was Staines who were quick to apply there dominance over the regional league opponents. Sunbury were unable to counter the speed in which we played the game, and goals started to flow freely. The short corner team converted five opportunities and goals in open play came from Liam, JD and Mashood. In typical fashion we managed to leak three ridiculous goals, but all in all a satisfactory performance that progresses us to the next round of the Middlesex Cup.

Mens 2nd XI

No report submitted.

Mens 3rd XI

Staines Men’s 3’s - Match Report 20 January 2001. V. Holcombe 3.

The meadows of Cranford were liberally covered with frost, but it was decided to play, the pitch itself not being at all slippery. After all it is a long way to come from Rochester to find out that the game is cancelled. Within 15 minutes of starting, most evidence of ice had gone anyway although Arthur’s glasses kept steaming up.

Holcombe had left their regular captain back at home so gained an immediate advantage which they proved as they probed our resolute defence and won a short corner in the first five minutes. Staines 3’s brought their fan club with them whose vocal support was led vociferously by Zulu Warrior Crowe. In common with previous weeks Staines battered away at the opposition with great determination but little reward. Holcombe earned the first breakthrough when they scored from a short corner, the ball taking a wicked deflection of the Gizz-maesters stick. To our credit Staines fought back and shortly before half time with a mass attack on the Holcombe D, the ball was crossed into the middle where James ‘Colgate Smile’ Gilchrist received it. He deftly killed the ball with one touch, looked up to make sure his fans were paying attention, brushed a stray hair back into place, then flicked the ball into the net for the equaliser.

The second half started well although Uncle Fester had gone colour blind and started to pass the ball to players in red shirts. Holcombe were clearly matching us for industry and effort, Pete Austin coming to the rescue several times and Deano brilliantly parried away a shot just off our goal line. Holcombe scored a second goal from a short corner routine which was right out of our own text book. We won a number of shorts ourselves this week but were unable to convert. Several times Holcombe nearly caught us on the break when Staines had pushed up to attack leaving only Gizz and our Left Back to cover three Holcombe forwards.

The game played itself out as Staines desperately attacked for an equaliser and Holcombe refused to let us have one. Another disappointing defeat (2-1) for Staines.

Hero of the Day – Pete Austin for a fine goalkeeping performance.

Donkey’s Death Valley – Sid, again, for too often passing the ball to his mates in the red shirts.

Vince Rowley.

Mens 4th XI

Henley 3's v Staines 4's Date : 20-Jan-2001 Venue : Henley Hockey Club Result : 2-2 Scorers : Chris Hine (2)

Heroes : Chris Hine yet again stole the show with a brace of goals. Zeros : Simon and Ada were off to flying start when they both arrived 20 mins late at the club. Ada then decided not to follow the guidance of Mattys one-eyed pink snake (see explanation later) and took Gordon and the keepers kit on a tour of the M40 !!! To cap it all Ada then demonstrated that he is deaf in both ears as he somehow managed not to hear Gordon screaming at him for the ball.

We came prepared knowing that Henley's league position (2nd from bottom) was somewhat false - especially considering that they had beaten Boyne Hill (one of the better teams we have played this season) 6-0 away last week ( in a friendly game because they had to forfeit the game as their keeper had no helmet - so a 5-0 defeat is what they got !!!)

Smarting from such indignity they started very brightly and nearly scored in the first couple of minutes. Does anyone remember the game "Casdon Soccer". Basically it consisted of static plastic figures set into a moulded metal board that you control by twiddling two knobs at each end. Staines 4th XI lay claim to any patents for the game "Casdon Hockey" in which players stand still and spin round aimlessly in the hope that the ball comes to them.

So, no surprise when a quick breakaway saw a long through ball evade the non-existent marking to reach their right winger clear in the D. He advanced Alex slid out and he hit the side of the goal. Minutes later and a replica this time the ball went inside the post, 1-0 down again !!!

Henley with their unusually fluid midfield were making it very difficult - until a conversation with Simon revealed that he was playing man-to-man and I was playing zone defence. Suddenly with the imbalance corrected we started utilizing the spaces in midfield and soon the game was being played mostly in the Henley half. Several screams for short corners, and one blatant p-flick all went unnoticed. Ada was tearing them to shreds in the hole and with the midfield supporting well it only looked like a matter of time before we scored.

Before half-time however any quick breakaway saw a Henley man free at the top of the D only for his powerful shot to kicked to safety by Alex "Go go Gadget legs" Sherman. Half-time 0-1, and worse still Aidan said he was feeling not very well at all. Good job Phil Whittington had come along to watch - so we chucked him on.

The second half saw Henley make several positional changes in midfield - which did give them a better shape. However with Gordon now finding more space are attacks were now becoming very threatening. We then won a short corner - Keith's shot was partially blocked and the ball fell to Martin who swept the ball inside the far post where Chris followed in to make sure. 1-1

Both teams went hammer and tong for the lead. Gordon sent a howitzer from left midfield at the back post where Martin was only a foot away from touching it in with a dive. Gordon try eating only the five Shredded Wheats next time !

Then despair as a Henley forward showed some brilliant footwork and stickwork to evade Keith, Matty (Casdon Hockey tackle!!!) and slip it over Alex. 1-2.

Back came Staines and 10 mins later it was all square again when a goalmouth scramble saw Chris force home his second of the game. 2-2

The last quarter saw Staines dominate and unlucky to force a winner - however Henley were always dangerous on the break and with a better short corner routine could have won it as well. So a fair result.

At the end of the game there was no beer !!!!!! All the club were outside watching the 1st XI game against Ashford and nobody would open the bar. Poor showing lads. They were a nice bunch of lads so best of luck for the rest of the season and if you stay up we want two jugs next time !

Finally, Matty's pink snake was only a toy plastic snake that Toby had left in my car. This week I would like to start another two competitions for the 4th XI. Firstly - who's got the best mobile phone, and second - the most amazing conversation on the way to/from a game. Phil and Matty's "my phone's got more ring tones than yours, but mine's got an infra-red port so that you can connect it to your computer and play two-player snake (hopefully not of the one-eyed pink variety)", was a pretty amazing effort!!

Martin Jackson

Mens 5th XI

No report submitted.

Mens Centurions

No report submitted.

Ladies 1st XI

Staines Ladies 1st X1 1 Hampstead & Westminster II 1

A tough match for Staines with a slow start in the freezing cold on Saturday.. Hampstead & Westminster came at Staines from the start and were very strong in their challenges.
They took the lead early on in the first half leaving Staines to battle through out the half with little possession. The half time team talk was needed to boost Staines who scored from a short corner passed to Louise Delaney who scored a fantastic strike. Staines played with a lot more meaning in the second half and had quite a few near misses, however Staines had to settle for the draw.

Staines Ladies 1st X1 0 Hendon 0
Staines won on Penalty flicks 3-2.

On Sunday Staines played in the second round of the Middlesex Cup after getting a Bye in the first round. Their oppossition was Hendon. Staines played well throughout the game and had some spectacular play however were unable to score. The game ended in a 0-0 draw which meant penalty flicks. Melanie Attfield and Sarah Hamilton scored their flicks and Maggie Owen their goalkeeper made some tremendous saves to keep Staines in with a chance of the win. After 5 flicks each the teams were level 2-2 on flicks. Melanie Attfield stepped up once again to score her superbly taken flick under much pressure and Maggie Owen saved the oppossition's flick meaning Staines won 3-2 on flicks. A deserved win for Staines taking them through to the third round.

Ladies 2nd XI

Staines 1 vs Harrow 3

We were greeted at Osterley with a completely white pitch, however, it wasn't icy underneath the snow, so after clearing the lines (which involved Burkie actually doing a warm up) we started the game!

Things started off well until Ellie collided with Anya and succumbed to the "twin jinx" and turned her ankle over (just as Julia did the week before), so we found ourselves in a familiar position of being down to 10 after 20 minutes. Soon after this, Juliet scored off a cross from Fish to take a 1-0 score. It was just before half time when Harrow equalised and unfortunately they went on to score 2 more in the second half, much to our obvious disappointment.

Player of the match was Jeanette with Fish getting Mare of the match for a couple of spectacular airstrikes!

Ladies 3rd XI

No report submitted.

Ladies 4th XI

No report submitted.