Match Reports For Week 28 Sat. 10th Mar. Season 2000 - 2001
Mens 1st XI
No report submitted.
Mens 2nd XI
"Greenway blunder fails to prevent win for Staines" Staines 3 - 1 Sunbury
Perhaps the most surprising thing about this game is that we managed to start on time with 11 men! Captain Clive donned his "calamity" spurs for the week after leaving his telephone contact book in the Club House at Staines the previous Saturday night and then apparently spending the whole week wining and dining very important work clients. Vice-Captain Oliver's phone was hot late into Friday evening and even on Saturday morning trying to pull the team together. One good thing was that Professor Bolton did not have time to think up any new ideas for another experimental line-up so we were back to a familiar formation.
The shambolic pre-match events surprisingly did not have the expected adverse effect as we came out of the starting blocks in superb fashion. Rodney Crowe was repeatedly heard (between the odd gasp and wheeze) shouting "…this is great hockey Staines…". However, after we squandered a few opportunities, Sunbury broke away, got a short corner and scored. Fortunately, we equalised shortly afterwards after an almost comical series of blocked and parried shots. A perkier that usual Mark Lees-Low, finally scrambled the ball over the line.
Staines started the second period brightly in response to half-time pleas for more off-the-ball movement. We quickly won a short corner and the tried and tested team of Crowe, Greenway and Oliver produced a searing shot, which took a slight deflection into the goal. Sunbury fought back briefly but could not get past our outstanding Keeper, Alex. Then we scored our third goal, which allowed us to canter home. A snap-shot from Phil Lazlo was deflected onto the goal post. Fortunately, the ever alert, evergreen Roger Greenway was on hand with a lavish reverse stick flick into the goal.
This report would not be complete without mentioning the "other" reverse stick flick from ever alert, evergreen Roger Greenway. It was an open goal. That is, for the sake of clarity: No player between Roger and the goal - in fact no one was within 5 yards - and Roger managed to miss the target from literally no more than 6 inches.
Roger gave Captain Calamity Clive a close run for the Weakest Link Award but it found its rightful home and the Man-of-the-Match was our Keeper, Alex for an excellent shot-blocking performance.
Andrew Oliver
Mens 3rd XI
Staines Men’s 3’s - Match Report - 10 March 2001. Versus: High Wycombe.
Staines 3’s were forced to field a scratch team this week with the absence of Gizz (sitting in a corporate box watching Rugby duties) and our skipper Uncle Fester (having a long sunny weekend in Madrid duties). We drafted in the prematurely retired Colin “Codger” Reed (surely a man of his undoubted fitness would rather play with us than the Olde Gimmers!). Also making a rare guest appearance was Baby Rengger who, making a daring escape from his bedroom, down a drainpipe, over the back fence and into Mart the Tarts waiting Mondeo was whisked to the venue. Our valuable 12th man this week was Alec Cumming armed to the teeth with cards and whistle.
Whether we were a weakened side or not did not seem to matter to Staines as we got stuck into the swaggering HW side from the off. Suddenly with perhaps 5 minutes gone a couple of long accurate passes turned defence into attack with Alpesh “Chewbacca” Patel racing at the last HW defender with the ball glued to the end of his stick. He turned the defender inside out and selecting kill on his pulse rifle fired the ball into the top corner of the goal. Loud purring echoed round the Bisham Abbey complex.
HW came back at us with a purpose and for a time appeared to have the upper hand. Eventually they forced a goal from a very skilful piece of dribbling, their player going passed two defenders and slipping the ball between Rob “The Cat” Godfreys gaping thighs. Perhaps you would think that HW would now go on to pound us into the ground after their initial setback, but no, Staines matched them attack for attack. We had several near misses Baby Rengger giving good service at right wing and Codger Reed working his socks off at left half. Our defence was solid and defended all short corners safely, HW were limited to a handful of chances which The Housewives Favourite (Rob) covered superbly.
Not long before half time we gained another short corner opportunity. The crack specialists Rowley, Rengger, O’Brien, set it up – the first shot was blocked a second saw a deflection towards the left post where Mr Safety was lurking menacingly. With cobra like reflexes Rowley struck, sweeping the ball home, ignoring whistles, whimpering defenders and whinging goalkeepers. 2-1 to Staines.
The second half saw an increasingly frustrated HW, unable to penetrate our tenacious defending and at the same time having further difficulty dealing with our very effective attacks. Sanatogen Man Murphy had a superb game even after being felled by a ball striking his arthritic knee. Rob was excellent in goal. The midfield Reed, Lloyd, Hudson, supported by Martin playing deep worked hard and won the central battle. Staines efforts got the final reward when a superb series of passes involving half the team sent Chewy racing away at goal again, he showed off this time (he was entitled as he had a brilliant game today) – twirling around in their D shedding hair and trailing defenders in his wake before finally executing a shot into the net. For the last 10 minutes HW knew there was no coming back, Staines Bastions were not to be denied. A 3-1 win and now we are back to having a realistic chance of staying up.
This weeks Awards are as follows:-
Hero of the Day – A landslide decision, with a 100% swing on the swingometer the vote went to Purring Patel.
Donkey’s Unmentionables – Voted, not for his playing performance (which was pleasing), but for his driving skills – managing to shake off and lose a whole range of following vehicles whilst enroute to the HW Clubhouse, demonstrating deft control of an unwieldy Volvo in challenging conditions. Its back to the Reginald Molesworthy school of motoring for Deano.
Vince Rowley.
Mens 4th XI
Staines 4th XI v Boyne Hill
Venue : Cranford
Result : WON 3-1
Heros : MartinJ, Keith and MartinK for the goals, Gordon and Mike for their
work rate and desire.
Zeros : Mill Hill - we still haven't got over their crappy pitch from last
week yet
The one thing that you can say about the 4th XI is that we are consistently inconsistent. For example, going into this game with two successive wins was equal to our best winning sequence, and our worst losing run is also two games. The difference now is that we are benefitting from a much more stable squad, and the unavailability of three players this week did not significantly weaken the team like it did prior to Xmas.
MartinJ won the toss and chose to play into the strong wind in the first half so that when tiring late in the game the wind would be with us. The game started in a flurry of end-to-end breaks with the visitors looking dangerous. As usual Frank was tight as a feathered bird's rear on the centre forward, and with Keith sweeping away any danger Boyne Hill didn't get a clear cut chance. We then started to work better in midfield and several times MartinK span away from his marker and raced down the left wing. The pressure started to mount and the short corners came. From one Mike was forced wide but pulled it back across the goal where MartinJ flicked it past the keeper and into the corner. From another Keith hammered the ball inside the far post, 2-0 and all looking rosy.
Then for some strange reason we seemed to lose our cohesion and let Boyne Hill back into the game. As Ada struggled to keep up with the fast pace of the game we were finding it difficult to relieve the pressure on our goal. Boyne Hill won a short corner - no problem we thought as Gordon had given us a detailed report on their pre-game practice session which had been relayed to the defence. So what did we do - yep you guessed we didn't cover the expected slip left (it appeared as though we had two running 1 and nobody running 2) and the ball was hammered into the goal.
Half-time : 2-1
We had not played well in the first half, and we were no better at the start of the 2nd either. Boyne Hill were now encouraged and their No 37 was starting to run the midfield on his own. Just like the first half we defended two or three yards off the attackers giving them time to display their fine control and excellent stick skills. Just as well that Mike, MartinJ and Simon were helping out to shadow them sideways, and directing them into the solid blocks of Matty, Keith, Frank and Nick. A few short corners came, and we almost let them get level when once again the running order seemed to go awry.
At the other end Gordon was now coming deeper and linking up well with midfield and attack. Indeed three times he released MartinK for a one-on-one with the keeper, and unfortunately it was the padded bloke who won each time. From a distance it was clear to see that the keeper was going down as easily as that old German centre-forward, and all that was required was the ball to be lifted over him. Gordon sprayed a couple of piledrivers wide of goal and it looked like we might throw away a match that was there for the taking.
Then MartinK and Ada switched wings and this time Gordon fed MartinK for another one-on-one, and with the ball on his strong side MartinK powered the ball high into the net ... 3-1 ... rejoicing all round. The Boyne Hill resistance briefly flickered but then the blue boys stormed forward and almost added further goals, but too often we collided with each other going for the same ball, or just didn't show enough composure in the D.
So a good result but we will have to play better next week to triumph over 2nd place High Wycombe who have the fantastic away record of Played 10, Won 8, Drawn 2, Lost 0, Scored 29, Conceded 14. If we can win it though that would almost certainly guarantee a position in the top half of the table, which would be a fantastic performance in this transitional season.
Martin Jackson
Mens 5th XI
No report submitted.
Mens Centurions
No report submitted.
Ladies 1st XI
No report submitted.
Ladies 2nd XI
Staines 1 - NPL Lensbury 0
It was our last league game of the season (and of course another early morning start, we're really not very good at those!) and although our hopes of promotion was so cruelly dashed by Ashford last week, we were still intent on seeing the season out on a win! It has to be mentioned that Helen and Sarah Chandler turned up ready to play in their outfits from the night before, much to everyone's amusement! Staines consumed most of the possession for the whole match and it was incredible that it should've only stayed at 1 - 0. Julia scored the one and only goal that counted, although Juliet swears blind that the disallowed goal came off her stick, but as neither of the umpires saw it, it was not given! So, it was a good season in all, finishing 3rd, with Leigh and Juliet 2nd highest top goal scorers in the league, but next year not only will be win promotion but we intend to finish at the top!! Well done to everyone who contributed to the Ladies second XI this season!!!
Ladies 3rd XI
No report submitted.
Ladies 4th XI
No report submitted.