Match Reports For Week 6 Saturday 6th October Season 2001 - 2002

Mens 1st XI

Staines 4 - Spencer 4

The first league match of the 1st X1 season to be played on the new pitch and expectations were high to christen the hallowed turf with a victory. Spencer, our opponents for the day were always going to be a bit of an unknown quality having just been promoted from the league below. Needless to say, within ten minutes this so called unknown quality were in the process of unleashing a whole can of whoop ass on our goal. Ten minutes into the game and already three goals behind, things were not looking great for the blue army. We desperately needed to get back into the game if only to stop Andre going spastic at half time.

Fortunately, five minutes later, we had gone some way to reducing the deficit thanks to a short corner strike form Fu that injected some life back into the Staines XI. Larry added another only minutes later from a short corner strike, but the celebrations were short lived as the umpire judged the ball had not been stopped by Teflon stick Hughes. Undeterred the Blues marched on, and Matt T was soon to bring us back within one goal of our opponents. Unfortunately, once again a Staines mistake enabled Spencer to regain a two goal advantage that took them into half time 4 - 2 up.

Staines started the second half confidently with the majority of the early opportunities and possession. Despite moments of brilliance down the right, Robbie Watson was doing his best to even out the standard on the left. Fortunately, it was not Robbie who was required to add the finishing touches to some great hockey, and it was left to the Ginger Prince, Matt Truman, (man of the Match) to add to his first half strike with a brace of goals that completed his hat-trick half way through the second half.

Having battled back to 4-4 the game should now have been there for the taking, however Staines were soon to lose their momentum as they were reduced to ten men after loud mouth Hughes (Dick of the Day) decided to argue the finer points of hockey with the umpire. The last ten minutes were frantic, but remained goal less resulting in both teams taking one point away from the fixture. Although the final result was disappointing, coming back from a three-goal deficit proved some consolation for the Blues.

Mens 2nd XI

Result: Mill Hill 0 Staines 3

The second league game of the season and the White Army had to perform well against one of the better teams in the league. Mill Hill is always a tough game but the Staines team was a strong one. With the introduction of Lloyd at centre half, Dave and Gerry in the defence and captain Andy Olly sweeping for the first half, Staines were ready to go from the off. The first half ended at 0-0, with few shots on target by either team and most of the play being dominated by the midfield. Each team had a similar number of short corners but failed to convert. The half time talk was spirited as usual. The determination of the 2's began to show. Some small position changes and the team was ready for the second half of the battle. Once again from the whistle Staines applied the pressure never letting up. This led to the ball being injected into the D by Andy Oliver from which right wing Rich glided the ball just inside the right post. 1-0. But Staines did not let up. About 10 minutes later a bit of a wobble in the D by Mik provided Staines with their second goal. Mill Hill, faced with the prospect of defeat, began bickering amongst themselves bringing the quality of their game down. There was still 10 minutes to go and Staines pulled out all the stops to work even harder and capitalise on the Mill Hill attitude to have a third goal slot in neatly from a short corner by Rod.

Well played to all the boys. A well worked game with some excellent perseverance and teamwork. We just need to continue to work on our fitness to ensure we can go 70 minutes working that hard against the other teams in the league.

MOM: Team.
DOD: Andy Nelhams (in absentia). Please bring clean trainers next week.

Mik Quinlan

Mens 3rd XI

Staines 3 vs. Mill Hill 3.

Another first today with the Third Foot and Mouth Brigade playing their first ever League fixture at the new Stadium of Light astro, Worple Road. Almost recovered from his sock injury, Chewy Patel took to the field with a protective prophylactic on the damaged digit, keeping it rigidly to attention. Remembering last weeks dreadful second half performance against the children and wheely-bins of Eastcote we knew we could not get away with the like against an obviously experienced and competent team as Mill Hill. At this point we will note that Porno Hudson, the reigning Big Girls Blouse, arrived too late to make the start, so putting him initially into pole position to retain the award !

Staines started smartly from the off with controlled Hockey and some dangerous probing attacks, Mill Hill also looked lively but didn't get near our goal - Action Man Reed started snoring softly, casually leaning on a post. Ten minutes gone and our first short corner, as usual Rowley (Safety), Rengger (Tart), O'Brien (Pace) went neatly through the old routine, Big Dunners shot (or was it a very fast pass) and Mr Safety lurking wide of the left post swept the ball home - YYEEEEESSSAAGHH !!

Very soon after Staines won a second short, same story, almost, the goal keeper managed to parry away Mr Safety's close range effort only for Mart the Tart to bound forward and roof the rebound in flamboyant fashion. Within minutes the Blue army had won a third short, yet again the routine worked with a powerful shot from Pace O'Brien rebounding off the keeper, guess who was menacingly prowling near the left post again, Mr Safety pounced to sweep in the rebound - YYEEEEESSAAGH x 2 !

Mill Hill were stunned, Staines were now rampant thundering up the pitch like an unstoppable herd of Wildebeest. Strong defensive work was evident, their wingers in the pockets of our left and right backs, Stu 'Bouffant' Kemish stamping on anything in range and 'Taxi!' Lazlo tackling well, marshalling the back line. Our attacks were devastating, accurate passing, speed, vision, awareness, if Keith Hine had seen this display he would have had wet dreams for a week ! Porno Hudson and Em worked hard creating openings, Alpesh sprinted forward like a Cheetah, but being a bit fragile as slightly built fast creatures are, he avoided contact with their keeper. 'Forrest' Kercher was again excellent value, running up and down the left tirelessly. Dunners held the middle like a rock and James not having any children to play with this week got stuck in.

A fourth goal was inevitable, a cross from the right into the D deflected up off a defenders stick, only to drop invitingly to Mart the Tart to volley home past the keepers earhole. Shortly before half time a goal mouth scramble developed for Porno King to deservedly get on the score sheet tapping in from close range, for our fifth goal.

Chewy was not allowed to deliver a team talk at half time, after what happened last week. In the event Staines started slowly in the second half, Mill Hill took the game to us and Reedy was called into action. After about ten minutes we had settled, absorbed their pressure and were back to rampaging at will. Although Stu managed to get a Green card for being a rough uncouth youth and being a bit of a thug to boot! Then Deano mentioned wouldn't it be nice to keep a clean sheet - within the minute, a lapse in marking let in Mill Hill to score a soft goal. SHUT UP DEAN !

Just to show who was really boss, Staines put together the best goal seen on this pitch to date. Rowley robbed their Centre Forward on the edge of our D, released Em who moved the ball onto Alpesh, after several more superb passes which shredded Mill Hill into tatters, Richard delivered the ball from the back line on a silver platter for Mart the Tart to score his forth. A magnificent 6-1 win for the Staines Massive.

Hero of the Day - Vince 'Mr Safety' Rowley. A righteous decision.
Big Girls Blouse - Phil 'Taxi!' Lazlo. A harsh decision as nobody had a shabby show, but we picked on Phil for one minor defensive indiscretion, he also shouted at Reedy and made his lip tremble.


Vince Rowley

Mens 4th XI

Staines 4th XI v Mill Hill 4th XI
Date: 6th October 2001
Venue: Whitefields

Heroes: Joe on his debut walked away with it this week.
Zeros: Simon tried hard by leaving us behind after the match after saying he would lead us back to Mill Hill club. Somehow Keith managed to beat him by one vote but its a little difficult to see why.

We arrived early so that we could warm-up properly and keep up the early season momentum created by last week's win. However, just like early last season the heavens opened and down came the rain in cats, dogs, sheep, horses and one or to elephants. By the time the game started the flood waters on the side of the pitch had eased their way into the adjacent stream.

As this is the 4th XI we built on last week's win by making four enforced changes, firstly both Mike and Mark did a sicknote with bad backs ... , Nick was off to Amsterdam, and Ada was also unavailable. So last week's impressive defensive blanket was re-arranged so that from four in the right place became two in the wrong place and two missing altogether, just like four black Mastermind pegs to two whites and two blanks.

With Simon scurrying throught the midfield, and Vikash and Kingsley getting forward well, and Joe impressing at right back on his debut, it was Staines who made the brighter start. The first opportunity fell to Martin going through in the inside left channel but his reverse stick shot was easily blocked by the advancing keeper. Shortly after Martin slipped inside the D but could only shoot against the keeper's pads. A fantastic move between Joe,Vikash, Martin and Chris saw a fantastic centre heading straight for Ben 10 yds from goal, ... his head went up the stick flailed and like a 36 handicapper a fresh air shot was all he could muster. A few minutes later saw Ben waving his pink weapon at a Mill Hill defender, but fortunately it was only his sequined handbag with the tassle trim.

At the other end Keith had to pull off a couple of fairly routine saves but there were also worrying signs of dallying on the ball inside the D and a tendency to dive in against the opposition's skilful centre forward. Then tragedy, a whistle blew on the adjacent pitch and Vik stopped, didn't look at the umpire and let his opponent breeze forward and into the 25. A couple of weak tackles, a lunge by Keith and full frontal assault on the goalpost by Frank still couln't keep the ball out, rats 0-1. The rest of the half saw a few half chances at each end, but none were converted, the nearest to a goal came when Martin stole behind two defenders as they let the ball run through ... but the keeper had come out quickly and blocked just in time.

The second half started in sunshine and the game swung into an end to end battle, with Staines making good use of the open midfield spaces to create several promising counter-attacks. Unfortunately we seemed to have a habit of losing patience as we got into their 25 and gave the ball away a little too easily. The defence was by no means as secure as last week and Keith had to pull off a couple of good saves to keep the score down. Then after a fine breakaway midway through the half we won our second short corner of the game. Simple, biff, boff, bang and Matty had levelled the scores at 1-1. The rain clouds gathered once more and then the wind whipped up. The game hung on a knife edge until the last 10 minutes, when we grasped the knife and plunged it deep into our stomachs in act of Hari Kari as we let their centre forward score a soft goal. Playing the whole length of the pitch on the counter had worn our under strength midfield down to the bone, and despite a few flickerings of hope of an equaliser. there was still one more self-inflicted twist of the knife to come when Keith saved and everyone stood around and watched as their centre forward completed his hatrick from a few yards out.

Final score, lost 1-3.

Captain's Log: 20011006
Many positives came from this game despite the defeat. Even with a weakened side we still created chances against a very well organised defensive unit, competed well, and with Joe's fine debut performance we have another player adding to the strength and depth of the squad. Next week we hope to have three players back in the fold, and are looking forward to taking on the Red & Blacks from down the road for the first time in recent years. The battle commences at high noon at the Long Lane Saloon ...

Mens 5th XI

Mens Centurions

Ladies 1st XI

WINCHMORE HILL 1ST XI 0 STAINES LADIES 1ST XI 3

Following a successful start to the season last week, Staines ladies continued their winning form with a comprehensive 3-0 victory over newly relegated Winchmore Hill. The first half saw a series of sweeping attacks by Staines, and within ten minutes they took the lead through a well taken goal from Sue O'Connell.

Staines continued to bombard Winchmore Hill, and were rewarded with a second goal from Helen Major when the defence failed to clear the ball effectively. The third came minutes later when Nicki Walsh slotted the ball home from close range.

Despite second half chances, including a penalty stroke which hit the post, Staines failed to increase their half time total, but kept their second consecutive clean sheet of the league campaign.

They look to build on their successful start to the season in a home fixture against Southgate next Saturday.

Ladies 2nd XI

Ladies 3rd XI

Staines 5 - Old Georgians 0

Despite the appalling weather conditions and early start we were able to turn up with a squad of 12, would have been 13 if Jude had got the text telling her the game time had changed. After the first 20 mins we were 3 nil up with all 3 goals from Leigh Hill. Staines continued to play well together and the adaptability of all the players was shown when the substitutions took place. In the second half Old Georgians continued to put us under pressure but Ingrid Fear made a run down the left hand side and scored our 4th goal despite never having played on the left or a wing before! With 10 minutes to go Leigh scored her 4th goal from a cross from Kerry Burke and this left the final score at 5 nil. Thanks for Louise Clark who despite injury played kicking back and touched it twice. Player of the match was Linda McCormack however it was a good team effort and we look forward to our 1st league game next week.

Ladies 4th XI