Match Reports For Week 19 Saturday 5th January Season 2001 - 2002
Mens 1st XI
Mens 2nd XI
Result: Staines 4 Lions 1
The first game of the second half of the season. Staines are to have to win
every game to stay in with a chance of finishing above Banbury who are the main
contenders to win the league. The first half started slowly as the excesses
of the festive period showed. Two short corners went unconverted. However, Staines
began to pick up the pace and started short, sharp passing. Lee Atkinson went
for a wobble across the D, passed back to Adam Servais, who fed to Rich Beeson.
A firm pass across the goal from Beeson allowed Roger 'Dodger' Greenway to slot
in Staines' first. The first half ended with Staines 1-0 up. The second half
started well, but a mistake in the midfield allowed the Lions attack (or what
there was of it) to get into the Staines D. A shot on goal went past the goalie
but failed to go over the Staines goal line as it was stopped by a Staines defender's
foot. The resulting penalty flick awarded to Lions was converted to make the
score equal at 1-1. Staines picked up the pace, but the equal score line remained
until 15 minutes from the end of the game. At this point another quality drive
from Rich Beeson (happy Rich?) resulted in a fumble in front of the Lions goal,
and saw James Hall who, disregarding his team mates that surrounded him on the
penalty spot, made a spectacular diving reverse sweep to score Staines' crucial
second goal. This lifted the Blue Army who drove onward ever more. A drive from
Atkinson was passed to Servais who slotted home Staines' third goal. A little
later Servais, having come down from the giddy heights of goal scoring, had
the ball fall to him at the top of the D. He made no mistake about calmly slotting
away Staines' fourth goal. Staines kept the pressure up until the final whistle.
A good second half performance from all the boys. Let's keep improving throughout the season, especially against Mill Hill next week who have been tricky customers in the past.
MOM: Adam Servais
DOD: Andy 'That's OUTRAGEOUS!' Oliver
Mik Quinlan
Mens 3rd XI
Staines 3's v. Eastcote 4's.
A happy new year and the prospect of a good start to 2002 with the Third Battalions
opening League fixture for the second half of the campaign being at our Stadium
of Light. Eastcote were visiting complete with little lad with a nappy on his
head (see report for 29th Sept). He looked around nervously for James Gilchrist
and kept well clear of the showers. Unfortunately, Eastcote Club had suffered
a recent tragedy when one of their players collapsed at Training and died of
a heart attack at the tender age of 39. A moments silence was honoured by both
teams before the start.
Whispering Sid being away on Doris duty, team management and field captaincy
is being caretaken by Mr Safety and Mart the Tart. A new look defence was unveiled
with Pace O'Brien sweeping, Zulu Crowe starting at right back and the return
of Gizz Jizzard. Gizz cantered up and down the side line, champing at the bit
and sucking on a fag waiting his turn to come on. We also took on a waif and
stray, as knowone else would give him a game and he promised to play better
than last week. Fu would role on as sub with the midfield. Although Eastcote
started with the ball, they did not have it for long and for the next 10 minutes
or so Staines applied relentless pressure, but without reward. Several near
misses, the iron work and dogged defending kept us out, including our first
short corner which was padded off the line by their keeper. They couldn't stop
the second one though, Rowley, Rengger, O'Brien conspiring to deliver to Chewy
who thrashed it home with a helpful deflection of a defender. Within minutes
Chewy Patel got a second from open play, gloriously pinging it into the net
roof from long range (he didn't stop purring until nearly half time!). Despite
several more short corners and some truly entertaining Hockey THAT NOBODY CAME
TO SEE. we did not score again until the end of the half when Mart the Tart
got on the sheet after several close shaves and a rather wafty reverse attempt
that wouldn't have knocked the dust off a Moth's wings. Mart won the ball in
the D took it out looking for space and then slammed the ball home in the bottom
corner. 3-0 up at half time was a well deserved score line.
"The first 10 minutes of the second half are most important, they will
want to come back at us hard" the wise words of Fu. Seconds after the whistle
Fu launched a trade mark aerial. We waited...eventually the ball reappeared
out of the spot light glare, it had returned with the latest pictures of Saturn's
rings and then landed deep in their half for Forrest Kercher to cause more mayhem
with his pace. Soon after a short corner was imminent, and reliably delivered
the desired result via an additional 1-2 between the Tart and Chewy with Forrest
being jonny-on-the-spot at the back post to finish. Unfortunately, the Staines
game started to degenerate at this point - probably due to the confusion generated
by the rolling substitutions starting to unsettle the side (at one point we
had three defenders playing out of position). This allowed Eastcote to get into
the game and they actually got in our D ! They also had the damn cheek to shoot
at our goal - the bounders ! We were not getting any change out of Fu dribbling
namby, pamby, arty, farty, figure of eights in the Eastcote D looking to get
a short. The Eastcote defenders were not that stupid, they waited for the old
chap to get tired and took the ball back off him without fouling. Clearly the
family pressures of bringing up two young sprogs was telling on Mike - with
his sunken sleep deprived eyes and sore nipples, Dunners who is old enough to
be anyones Dad was magnificent in covering and steadying the centre. Forrest
Kercher missed a golden opportunity when after greasing two defenders he only
had to slot passed the keeper from 4 yrds, only to inexplicably collapse as
if shot by a sniper !
Inevitably the Blue army regrouped and slowly re-gained our dominance, but not
before Eastcote got a consolation. A lucky (for Eastcote) deflection saw the
ball spin into open space handy for their centre forward to collect, he now
had a 5 yard advantage and was one on one with our keeper. Keith charged like
a bull elephant on heat, sliding out in a welter of pads, stick, Zimmer frame,
drip trolleys and colostomy bags to force the Eastcote forward wide. In the
meantime Mr Safety had hit the nitrous injection and got behind just in time
to block a full blooded shot with his shin (Ouch ! it split the skin through
the shin guard ! Lots of sympathy please). Unfortunately the rebound was again
lucky (for Eastcote) as their man managed to squeeze the ball home before being
swamped by defenders. The final 10 minutes were again fully controlled by Staines
with Fu getting our fifth goal stabbing home from near the P-spot after our
attack penetrated along the back line. A good performance for a 5-1 win.
Marvellous Teas provided by Zulu Crow - Wildebeest pies and baked beans with
Jam doughnuts for pudding. Well done Rod. Thanks also to our Team Bitch - Robbie
Godfrey who did a splendid bread buttering job. Noting his technique, if anyone
needs any brick laying done then Robs your man !
Hero: Paul Dunne, imperious in Midfield, kept control when those around were
losing theirs!
Big Girls Blouse: He genuinely had a very good game and was a major asset in
Staines going forward, but for the inexplicable collapse, he got the award.
Vince Rowley
Mens 4th XI
Windsor 2nd XI v Staines 4th XI
Date: 5th Jan 2002
Venues: Windsor Boys School
Happy New Year everyone !!!
After practicing on the Siberian wastelands on Thursday it almost seemed like a miracle that we were playing today - and it's the first time I've seen so many happy faces on such a dank, dismal, grey and miserable Saturday afternoon. More positives in that nobody looked liked they had over indulged on the Xmas pud, and Gordon was back on pitch for us for the first time this season. Its a New Year and here is hoping that we turn things round and find some consistency this side of Xmas, as we trail Ashford in 2nd by only 5pts.
We started not only like a house on fire, but more like a bit of forest around Sydney. With barely 10 mins on the clock and Mike waiting to come on the blue army had already built a 2-0 lead, first with a Gordon-esque reverse stick flick by Phil over the keeper, and then Gordon himself rifling a low shot past the keeper. Not as though the game was all one way, as Windsor played some attractive and neat little 1-2's through oceans of space in the middle of the park, a vacuum created by the defence sitting too deep and the midfield being encouraged forwards by our lightning start.
Inevitably the home side broke through only for Alex to save bravely, but unfortunately the ball fell unkindly for us and the rebound was slotted home. Back at the other end a Gordon howitzer was just deflected over the bar by Phil, and Martin had a shot toed away by the keeper at the near post only for a 16 to be given. Simon made a great run around and in behind Gordon, was picked out by a beauty of a reverse stick pass by Martin, and was only denied by a great sliding save by the keeper. Entertaining it certainly was and Windsor took advantage of some more woeful defending to bring some solid saves from Alex in goal, and two shots within inches of a post. Then with 10 mins to go to half-time Phil playing right-wing !!! slipped a lovely ball to Martin at top right of the D shouting at the same time "Turn & Shoot" .... a second later the ball crashed into the backboards inside the far post ... 3-1 !!!
With barely a minute to go to the break some good skill by a Windsor forward saw another good shot saved by Alex, but unbelievably we were asleep once more and the ball was slipped between Alex's legs ... 3-2.
Now we'[ve all missed Gordon's passionate play, but just in case anybody had forgotten his half-time team talks then this was one to savour. With steam coming out of his ears, spit spraying everywhere, blood boiling under his skin, a torrent of abuse flowed out, like the possed from the Exorcist but with a bad case of Turrett's Syndrome. We gathered he wasn't too pleased with the shoddy 1st half performance. One more observation - Chris did his best to get carded for the first time in his career as he twice deliberately used the reverse side of his stick ... has he been watching too much Ben at training !!
Within the first minute of the restart Gordon was living up to his words as he made up 20 yds to rob the Windsor sweeper on the edge of the D. push the ball past the bemused keeper only to see the shot from the tight angle just hit the post and go behind. However, it inspired everyone, and now we camped in their 25 for 10 mins, and were only kept out by some remarkable umpiring as repeated appeals for short corners fell on deaf ears - come to think of it that might of explained why he couldn't here the difference between ball on stick or ball on foot - or perhaps Windsor were playing in clogs. Just a quick aside about the rules ... is there one that says when the home side is only one goal down that the ball strking a defender's foot inside the D, then it is not a short corner.
After about the third such aberration Richard could take it no more and took out his handbag. Then he though better of it and vented his frustration by totally dominating the centre of midfield for the next 10 minutes, a time that gloriously saw Chris score from two inches after Gordon's cross-come-shot had been stopped on the line by a big foot, and then a minute later a beautiful run into the D by Chris, a little dink over the defender's stick, and a square ball to Gordon who controlled it and pushed it home, 5-2 !!! The only sour note was Frank "Cardman" Clark really starting to rack them up now, as he was punished with a green for also using the back of his stick ... seems a bit harsh when Chris got away with it twice ... aahhh the benefits of being young ...
There was enough time for us two screw up the three or four short corners that we were eventually awarded (no doubt because the 1 goal behind rule no longer applied), until near the end we won our last one and Richard smashed it home ... 6-2.
Man of the Match : A close battle between Gordon and Richard, with the latter
just getting the nod.
Dick of the Day : A very patchy vote saw Nick get the nod, and that was without
bringing our "unlucky charm" -the beautiful Geena.
Captains Log 20020105
That's the way to do it. Our biggest win, Windsor's biggest defeat of the season ... and we didn't really play that well .. there's plenty more we can do up front ... we just need to believe a bit more in our ability and the goals are going to come. Next week another side in the bottom three Mill Hill, and revenge for the 1-3 defeat earlier in the season is required ... and then its Ashford ... can't wait.
Mens 5th XI
Mens Centurions
Ladies 1st XI
Staines 2 Basingstoke 2 (Friendly).
With Basingstoke having gone up into the South Division 2 after winning the
playoffs at the end of last season, Staines knew that this would be a good match
to play in preparation for their first league match after Christmas next week
against Ashford. Staines started positively after the Christmas break and took
the lead through a goal by Melanie Attfield in open play. Staines continued
to keep up the pressure and scored again through an individual effort by Alex
Stacey. At half time Staines knew that Basingstoke would come back at them in
the second half and they did. Staines let up some of the pressure and Basingstoke
played their game leading to their getting the 2 goals back.
Ladies 2nd XI
Ladies 3rd XI
Ladies 4th XI