Match Reports For Week 21 Saturday 19th January Season 2001 - 2002
Mens 1st XI
Staines 1 v Tulse Hill 0
A three horse race has now developed in the premier B South League as
Staines and Spencer trail Oxted but both have yet to play their
leading rivals and both are capable of taking points from them.
Staines travelled to London on Saturday to play Tulse Hill in an early morning start in wintery conditions. The pitch was of a very poor quality which meant both sides struggled to come to terms with the conditions and a very drab game was battled out.
Captain Stuart Hall played tirelessly as he lead his team to victory and Liam Greene was brilliant in the heart of Staines defence as he man marked ex national league hero Will Nurse out of the game.
Matthew Trueman scored the only goal of the game, converting a well worked short corner and Staines can be quite happy to take three points on this unmemorable day. Staines look forward to the return of Mike Farmer this weekend their England International sweeper who has missed the last two months through injury.
Staines 2 v Guernsey 1 (HA Cup, Sunday)
Staines played the representational Guernsey side on Sunday in the HA Trophy and were forced to play to their best to beat this well drilled side. The Guernsey side is selected from the best players playing in the Guernsey league and also players representing club sides in the UK, but with Guernsey parentage.
Staines went a goal down within minutes of the start, but in torrential rain fought back to see Robbie Watson and Matthew Trueman score goals in the first half to take the lead. Guernsey played well and never gave up the fight in the second half but with brilliant performances from Watson and Captain Stuart Hall Staines held on to the end to earn a place the last thirty two of the competition.
Mens 2nd XI
Staines Men 2nd XI 5 City of Oxford 1
Due to the absence of our normal report writer, here is a short description
of an excellent victory over second placed City of Oxford which consolidated
our position at the top of the table.
There were two good goals from our "Man of the Match" Lee Atkinson,
one from Roger Greenway, one from Adam Servais and one from Rich Beeson. (The
latter was really an own goal by their keeper who actually kicked it into his
own net after trying to recover from an earlier save….but Rich has claimed
it anyway!).
Adam's goal deserves particular mention. A 250 yard (wind assisted) aerial from
Mike Farmer landed on the end of Lee Atkinson's stick and after a bit of a wobble
was squared for the grateful Mr Servais who had sprinted from inside his own
half to slot home.
Despite his goal, Adam made a clean sweep on the "Dick of the Day"
vote after claiming that his hangover would not effect his performance then
proceeded to miss not one but two chances to score from no less than six inches.
Then, after a superb run into the D from Andy Oliver which resulted in a penalty
stroke, Adam grabbed the ball and promptly missed - miserably!
Eight more victories from our final eight games will ensure that we win the
league and promotion. This is certainly attainable provided that we take it
a bit easier on Friday nights!!
Andrew Oliver
Mens 3rd XI
City of Oxford 3's vs. Staines 3's.
Another week, another road trip. This time to City of Oxford, Brooks University.
Forrest Kercher used to play here and apparently never scored on his then 'home'
pitch - more of that later ! Alec 'The Daddy' Cumming was our umpire again so
we were all on our best behaviour. Uncle Fester is back ! Sid, still looking
a little pale after his recent conjugal trans-Atlantic exploits has regained
enough strength from the waist down to venture out and watch the 3rd Battalion
in action.
The game got under way and true to form the most exciting team in the EHA immediately
laid siege to the CoO goal. At times CoO did manage to probe our bastions with
the occasional fast break, but Keith remained unmoved, his V8 Bath Chair now
race tuned with stiffened suspension, throbbing quietly in the background. Unfortunately
first blood went to CoO as a mighty collision between Forrest going at Mach
2 and one of their defenders resulted in a stunned Kercher having to go off
to recover. It would appear his gun sights also became misaligned due to this
crash, more again later. At this point totally against the run of play, CoO
managed to clear the ball direct to their nippiest forward, who managed to evade
two Staines defenders. The boy nippy was not put off by the appearance of our
keeper, with bits of last nights dinner stuck in his beard and a damp leg from
a leaky catheter, charging in - eventually managing to slip the ball into the
net. Hmm, this was not in the script I had read. Staines kept on attacking,
hit the post (again), hit their keeper numerous times (he was good), Chewy squandered
a golden opportunity, only to sky his shot (the ball remains in geo-stationary
orbit). Numerous short corners were won, but to no avail. Whispering Sid, supporting
from the side, was about as quiet as you could expect - only three shattered
windows, a cracked plexi glass and four burst ear drums for persons standing
within 50 yards. Porno Hudson doing some good work down the right tried a different
tack, crossing the ball in he managed to also scythe the legs from under a CoO
defender. Their player could not continue. We thought that might open things
up, but no, CoO just put 8 players in their D and made it even more crowded.
With only 5 minutes of the half remaining Staines won another Short. This time
a powerful but wide strike by Pace O'Brien was deftly deflected into the goal
by Dave Bobblehat.
The second half started with CoO on a charge and actually looking like they
were going to try for a win. During the half CoO created several chances but
couldn't finish. 'Pid' and 'Mr Safety' were each called upon to clear the line,
and the few CoO shorts were all robustly defended. Eventually it came down to
fitness and who wanted it most. Staines proved we were prepared to work hardest
and for longer and we WANTED it. The relentless pressure the Blue Army (temporarily
wearing white) brought to bare could not be held back and like a dam bursting
we scored 4 goals in the last 20 minutes. It could have been more but Chewy
and Forrest were having a competition to see who really could not hit a cows
arse with a banjo ! Poor Forrest missed at least two open goal chances, it must
have been the earlier collision damaging his aiming mechanism. So, he still
has not scored on this pitch. Alpesh had no such excuse so if he does not watch
it - we will have him down the Vets for an internal examination with cold instruments
and no lubricant !
Dave Woollyhat danced nimbly down the left to fire in his second goal taking
a deflection off a defender. This was quickly followed by Mr Safety winning
a crashing tackle on their 25 yard line and poking the ball through to Mart
the Tart, who finished in emphatic fashion. Soon after, Pace O'Brien delivered
a pin point 50 year pass to the Tart who forced their keeper to commit himself
and then gave the ball to Chewy Patel on a silver salver, who simply could not
miss. The last goal arrived as a result of a short corner, the ball fed to Porno
Hudson on the wide right, who then deftly tapped it back to an open Mart the
Tart to place it in the net. Another 5-1 win, and it is clear that all the opposition
are now determined to knock us off our perch.
Hero: Several players were strongly nominated (Dunners, Porno, Tart, Safety)
but Dave Wooly has this weeks deserved honour.
Big Nancy Frilly Nonce Award: Despite super attacking play, great running, excellent
team work, mild concussion, his finishing was dire - Forrest Kercher.
Mention in Despatches: For outstanding SUBTLETY when Sid mentioned he thought
he would have a game next week, Mart the Tarts reply "Yes, you might just
squeeze into the Fives!" was notable.
Mens 4th XI
Staines 4 v Ashford 4
Date: 19-January 2002
Today's match against Ashford was a must-win game for the boys in blue. With local neighbours Ashford sitting in 2nd place in the table and five points clear of Banbury, ourselves and Hayes, a defeat would have seen us fall eight points behind with only eight games to go.
As you would expect in a local derby the commitment and hunger was evident very early on. Carrying on from last week's 9-1 drubbing of Mill Hill it was Staines who settled first into their stride. After some neat midfield work we built up some early pressure and eventually we fed the ball through to Gordon in the D ... a couple of touches and a reverse stick flick left the keeper rooted to the spot ... 1-0 !!!
Ashford fought back strongly and using the pace of their wingers started to threaten. They then brought on their answer to Michael Owen who spun past Andy a couple of times, but good marking at the back prevented any further progress towards our D. We were playing well, re-cycling the ball through the midfield, and probing the Ashford D for openings, but the red defence held strong. Then they launched a quick break and won a short corner. Brave defending kept them out, but at the expense of another short corner. And then again and again. But we held firm and finally intercepted the ball and cleared our lines.
The hunger was there in both sides and what a great game it was becoming. Then Chit Chat was warned .. well you guessed it ... for talking too much. However, the constant comments of "Its my ball ... he can't hit it.." etc at every 16 were starting to wind up the visitors defence ... but it was true .. they did start panicking and hitting 16's everwhere except to their own players. Midway through the half and a break down the left saw the ball worked to Simon at the top left of the D, and bouyed by last week's brace he took aim and rifled a shot goalwards .. and in ... 2-0. Ashford, previously unbeaten on their travels this season were rattled, and were starting to lose their composure. One of their players receiving the inevitable tongue lashing from his own umpire. We now held a tight grip on the game and played out to half-time with no more alarms.
Half-time team talk ... well-done to Dave Craig a hero for stepping into goal for this match at two days notice ... fantastic job at organising his defenders in front of him; well done to the midfield; and great work from the forwards ... but its only two-nil ... its Staines v Ashford ... they are going to come at us with everything they have got second half ... we must keep the pace up for the whole 70 mins and they will wilt ... we must have the hunger ... we must want it more than them ... let's go do it boys !!!!
The second half saw a more even contest as Ashford's tactical changes took effect.
However, we had made our own subtle changes, with Martin sitting a little deeper
and wider, and Chris making runs through a slightly wider channel down the right
hand side. The nett effect was that Martin and Dave were now working as a team
to block any progress down our right, Bav and Simon were doing the same down
the left, and Andy, Nick and Mike had a little more space to work in through
the middle. As a result Ashford could make no forward progress despite gaining
more posssession. It wasn't long before the Blue stranglehold on midfield paid
off as a break down the left wing saw the ball worked to Chris in front of the
keeper ... no problem he dragged it wide to the left as the keeper dived, brought
his feet round to the strong side and pushed it home 3-0.
The floodgates didn't just open they positively exploded and suddenly Staines were attacking from everywhere. Gordon smashed home his second 4-0. Just to note that Ashford had only conceded 4 goals in their 6 away games this season ... before today that is. Simon added another to confirm his rapid conversion from "Andy Cole" to "Ruud Van Nistelroy" ... now a veritable "goal machine" from midfield. That's four goals in less than an hour and a half of hockey after a blank run of a season and a half !!
Gordon duly converted his hatrick to make it 6-0. Phil had his weekly goal disallowed ... that's four this season already. Gordon then had another flick power into the net ... but this was also disallowed ... so it finished 6-0.
Heros: The whole team deserve a special mention ... the best performance I've seen in charge of the 4th XI. In the voting Gordon and Nick tied for the lead but Gordon was given the nod because of his hatrick
Zeros: A difficult call this week with a lot of people picking out nobody ... but Phil's over zealous chatting got him the nod.
Captain's Log 20020119
Awesome result. The hunger is there ... we just wanted it more than them ... we are gaining in confidence every week. The tactical switch to put Nick in the centre of midfield also worked a treat, as it freed up Mike to play a more attacking role, and allowed Simon to make those goal scoring runs into the D. To think that we spurned several other opportunities by lashing the ball from tight angles, and were awarded only one short corner at the Ashford end ... then we can still get better.
Next week another tough game ... away to those 100% homesters Banbury - yes the only team in the league with a perfect home record.
Mens 5th XI
Mens Centurions
Ladies 1st XI
Ladies 2nd XI
Staines 6 - Ashford 0
Although we were 10 points clear at the top of the league table, at the start of this game on Saturday, and playing Ashford who were at the bottom of the league, we were all quite surprisingly feeling nervous, possibly, because of the pressure that we absolutely had to win. As it turned out there was no need to feel that way as from the start, Staines played confidently and applied a lot of pressure. Staines had the majority of the play during the whole match, but it was half way into the first half when the first goal was scored by Lizzy O'Neill. Being spurred on from the sideline by our injured Captain Fisher, Staines pushed for another goal and it wasn't long before Juliet Porter scored the 2nd, and increased her lead as league top goal scorer. By the end of the first half it was 3 - 0 when Julia Ward scored. Helen White was clearly feeling left out at this point as it was at the start of the second half when she decided see also wanted to join the score sheet and made it 4 with a superbly taken shot just inside the D. Ashford had a couple of chances to score when they caught Staines on the hop, but our defensive line up of Caz, Ez and Yvonne were just trying to make Anya feel part of the game and actually let her touch this ball for once. Staines soon came charging back though when Whitey passed on the half way line to Juliet who took the ball up and hit the ball just inside the ball for Whitey to then score from the saved rebound. The next goal was of similar style when Juliet took the ball inside the D, clashed with the keeper and Whitey was there again to complete her hattrick!!! All in all, it was a really well played match by Staines, who as a team are getting better and better every week. The next league match is against 2nd place Harrow on the 2nd Feb.
Player of the Match: Tie between Juliet Porter and Ellie Ward
Ladies 3rd XI
Staines Ladies 3XI 3 BA 0
Despite the first half being predominately in the BA half Staines took a long time to find the goal. However, we welcome back Badie from maternity who despite her worries that her inside were going to drop out, managed to score all 3 goals from open play.
This win should hopefully keep us in third place in the league but the goals for are still lacking!! Perhaps if we had scored from at least 50% of the 20 plus short corners we were awarded our goal difference would improve
Ladies 4th XI