Match Reports For Week 25 Saturday 16th February Season 2001 - 2002

Mens 1st XI

Staines 4 v High Wycombe 3

Staines had to wait for the last touch of the game for an inspired comeback lead by Mike Farmer to claim the three points on Saturday.

This game showed the nerve and resolve in the Staines squad this season as they had to reduce the deficit three times and overcome bully boy tactics from a Wycombe side who's tackling at times would have been better served in Ice Hockey.

Staines started slowly and went a goal down before Mike Farmers reverse stick finish hit the roof of the net. Wycombe came back to again lead and went into half time 2-1

Staines rallied at half time by a tea cup throwing team talk by Coach Andre Mostert and came out with bristling intent to lay siege on Wycombe's goal. Chapman scored from a penalty corner but yet again Wycombe scored and Toulson again had to score to equalise with minutes left on the clock.

In the last minute of the game Staines won a short corner and John Stannards shot was saved illegally on the line and Mike Farmer stepped up to convert the penalty and keep Staines gunning for league leader Oxted.

Staines play Ashford this Saturday at Faulkner's which proves to be and enthralling encounter. Staines are motivated that Ashford's sweeper - ex national league start Russell Miquillan will be missing due to his red card against league leaders Oxted.

Mens 2nd XI

Staines 7 - Hendon 0

After two disappointing draws Staines were keen to get back to winning ways. From the start Staines looked dangerous with good midfield and forward playing creating a number of opportunities. The first goal came as debutant James Lovett fed into Greenway from a yard and he made no mistake as the backboard sung out. Hendon's only real reply was with hopeful long balls but the combination of Nelams, Lees-Low, Woollat, Hurd and Bolton made sure it was not effective. Some excellent movement and sharp passing from ; Oliver, Duffield and Atkinson created another goal for Greenway. Staines were rampant and Lovett scored to mark an excellent first game for the 2's from the
right side of the D. James Hall and Lovett both scored again to put the game out of Hendon's reach. It was left to Greenway to score another couple of crackers to complete the scoring and take his personal tally up to 4 for the game.

All in all it was a much improved performance and with Banbury losing points and falling to 3rd the title is in sight. However next weeks game will prove far tougher as we take on Henley away but Saturday's performance will give us good cheer and if we keep winning Staines will go up - eventually !!!.

Mens 3rd XI

PHC Chiswick 3's vs. Staines 3's.
Last season this was our 'home' pitch. Today it seemed as hard as the old Feltham concrete based astro, only with a lot more sand. The team bitches (Rob and Gizz) were down to watch and were again looking forward to a donkey ride and an ice cream at half time. Although Gizz was not sure if he could get his leg over a shaggy knock kneed creature - we reminded him that it had never stopped him before ! Before the off, a large comfortably built woman of Caribbean persuasion turned up clearly bringing much joy to Edward (our umpire for the day), she must be another of his girlfriends down to watch him in action.

The game started sluggishly for Staines. Regular foray's towards the PHC D were evident, but no goals. PHC on the other hand grew in confidence, just as regularly exercising our mighty defence. The rather tedious game was then ignited by a defensive cock-up. PHC on a break almost collided with Uncle Fester as he tried to clear, 'Pid' now under pressure managed to clear the ball as far as Sid's looming size 13's only for the advantage of a loose ball going straight back to the attacker allowed an easy shot passed the Olde Fella whose Bath Chair spun its wheels in the sand. Being 1-0 down was not what we had scripted but it was the catalyst to get 3rd Battalion to pull its collective finger out. Slowly but surely the Staines juggernaught gathered momentum. More of the game was being played in their half, goal attempts were more frequent and short corners started to be won - NICE !

Our short corner routines were effective, causing much consternation to the PHC defence with their variety and superb set ups by the specialists Rowley, Rengger, O'Brien. Inevitably we were going to score. Late in the half, the third routine of the day was struck in towards the left post, where guess who was lurking with intent ? Mr Safety burst out from his camouflaged position to sweep the ball majestically into the roof of the net - followed by quiet, low key celebrations. Five minutes later another routine led to Chewy's shot being blocked, but the rebound was pounced on by Forrest Kercher. At long range (for him), 4 feet out he trashed towards goal - but the keeper managed to block. A second thrash - same result (cries of hit the fecker again !), Forrest started tunnelling, James Garner started forging documents to get the ball past the guards, and Steve McQueen crashed his bike into the wire. At the forth flailing, thrash the ball forced its way clear and trundled over the line to give us a 2-1 lead at the break.

In the second chapter the 3rd Battalion kept up the work rate and were clearly the team in command for long periods. PHC remained dangerous, but fortunately our awesome bastions were more than a match. Unfortunately we gave away a number of short corners, but all were defended. Although there was a nervous moment when a PHC short was fired towards goal - initially to be brought down by Pace O'Brien, but the wicked spin took it over the line. This was disallowed as being shot too high. Minutes earlier we scored our third goal when Zulu Crowe dribbled along the back-line and slipped the ball through to Mart the Tart to coolly finish. Fighting against the heat, flies, sandstorms and occasional heaps of camel dung Staines continued to press forward for more goals. Reward came when the hard working Dunners collected the ball on the right, interrupted Chewey's afternoon snooze and released him to threaten the PHC D. Unable to get a clear shot away, Chewy neatly slipped the ball across to the Tart who was able to slam the ball home first time. PHC tried to keep going but looked like their tanks were empty, the last 7 minutes was all one way traffic, Staines winning 4-1. The PHC goal keeper deserves a mention for his sometimes unorthodox but very good keeping. He managed to keep the score to a non-embarrassing level.

Hero: Several very good performances out there today, but the winner was effectively unanimous. He worked like a man possessed (he thought we only had a one goal advantage, this might attract BGB votes next week). He performed like he was reliving the battle of Rourkes Drift fending off the fuzzy wuzzies. Zulu Crowe is today's hero and the award brought a tear to his eye.

Big Girls Frillies: But for a token vote for Uncle Fester (that what captains are for) this was also unanimous. He has had his jabs, been de-fleaed and wormed, but the Vet is still not sure what might be causing the lethargy. Next week Porno Hudson is going to bring his stainless steel speculum and other cold instruments to conduct a thorough internal examination on poor Alpesh. We may even shave Chewy's legs to see if that can gain him some speed. Or maybe Keith can lend him the V8 Bath Chair.

Next week we are entertaining Enfield at home - should be another goal-fest.
P.S. Unofficially we are now the Champions.............which is nice. DRINK !

Mens 4th XI

Staines 4th XI v HAyes 3rd XI
16th Feb 2002

The teams arrived for the breakfast showdown with sleep still in their eyes, but with the early morning frost having being burnt off by the glorious sunshine it was like the first day of spring. The game started with the blues charging forward with the freshness of spring lambs whilst the visitors were more like hibernating rabbits poking their noses out of their runs.Cheered on by a group of the 3rd XI Champions Elect it wasn't long before a sweeping move down the left led to a lovely goal. Starting in our own half with an interception by James the ball teed up back into the middle by Martin and worked down the left wing then back into the middle where Chris struck a beauty low into the net from top right of the D.

Minutes later and some more brilliant passing led to a short corner. Phil slipped it, Mike squared it for Martin who's shot was saved but he recovered to shoot past the keeper who had been distracted by Gordon's immense presence at the post.

Another couple of minutes and another short corner. This time Phil to Martin who touched to Gordon at the aforementioned post, 3-0 and its only 10:30 in the morning. How Hayes had fallen back to earth after their 13-0 mauling of the hapless Mill Hill last week.

With the game now almost won we started to get too eager to score, and we stopped moving the ball with the speed and precision of the opening 20 mins. Martin went for a dick of the day vote by sweeping another short corner into the keepers pads after spending two hours 17 minutes controlling it and running a half marathon to get his feet round the ball, when a simple little dink to Gordon on the post would have made it 4-0.

Fortunately for Martin, Phil then decided to go into full scale chatter mode and after a while received a green card for his trouble.

Half-time 3-0

The second half ambled on much like the first with no cohesion in the play - which was not helped by the indecisivenes of the Hayes umpire, and especially his interpretation of the advantage rule. Many thanks to Jonathan for a superb game umpiring almost the whole pitch. The visitors were now getting rather fed up with Phil's cheeky chappy act, and someone verbally threatened that "number 30 was going to get it". After drawing the verbal abuse to the umpire's attention Phil was rewarded with another green and hence a yellow. That's Phil stomping away to the Dick of the Day award.

With the game going slack Hayes made a great break through the middle and almost pulled a goal back. It was just enough to get our hunger back, and soon after Gordon muscled his way past three defenders before scorching an unstoppable reverse stick flick high into the net: 4-0 !!

James improving with each game dominated the top of our circle and even had time to penetrate the Hayes D to fire a powerful cross-shot just wide of the far post. Matty and Nick were not only defending well but were also pushing up into midfield to support the industry of Kingsley, Simon, Mike, Gordon and Chris no wonder we have the 2nd best defence in the league and Hayes had the 3rd best - until today that is!

Martin having worked 20 hours out of the last 24 was in need of another can of "V" or "Red Bull" as was demonstrated when he couldn't summon enough energy to get his feet round to a ball that was passed only a few inches behind and tried to stop it reverse stick.

Full time : 4-0

Hero of the Day : A tie between Gordon and James with Debbie coming in one vote behind for the delicious Chilli.

Dick of the Day: Chatterbox Phil stormed home with 7 votes over Sleepy Martin with 3.

Captains Log 20020216

With Hayes being level on points and goal difference, and ahead of us on goals scored before the game, this was a fantastic first half performance. Like the early season 1-0 defeat to Hayes which put them top of the table we had 80% of the play - the difference this time was that we had movement off the ball, players in the D, much more direct short corners and most of all shots at goal.This win puts Hayes out on the fringes of the promotion race and if results go our way in other games we could be within touching distance of the holy grail of that 2nd spot. Go on MK's - go on Boyne Hill - do us a big favour !

Mens 5th XI

Mens Centurions

Ladies 1st XI

Eastcote 2 Staines 1 (HA Trophy 4th Round)

Staines played Eatcote on Sunday who are in the league above in the South Division 2, in the HA Trophy 4th Round. Staines made a positive start and had a lot of the possesion in the first half. Staines kept it tight at the back despite Eastcote keeping 2 players up high waiting for the chance of a breakaway. Staines kept up the pressure and this payed off as they scored the first goal of the game just after half time with a short corner flick, magnificently taken by Ruth Hine. Eastcote came straight back at Staines and also scored a well taken short corner. With the score still level at 1-1 at the end of full time the game went to extra time. Staines again had most of the possesion and many chances with short corners but were unable to score. Eastcote gained a short corner on the stroke of half time of the extra time and scored the golden goal which gave them the win.

Ladies 2nd XI

Ladies 3rd XI

Match Report - 5 - 0 Win for Staines Ladies 3rd XI against Poly

Stressful start for Vice-Captain Linda McCormack, as we still were not sure if guesting goalie Abbie was home from Uni. and available to play. All turned out OK in the end as Abbie arrived eager to play and saved one of team from drawing the short straw. A quick change of tops on the side line was also required again, as Poly also played in blue (no Kate we weren't playing NPL!!!) As the score line shows it wasn't one of her busiest, defenders Jo Smith, Nicky Lazlo, Wendy Valentine Penny and Pauline Williams played really well and kept good concentration stopping Abbie from getting a look in.

All 5 goals scored in the first half, were very impressive. Linda first goal come from a short corner pushed over the line. 2nd goal came from Louise Clarke who was trying out her old position of LW, a further goal then came from Linda and eventually Janet Bailey found her old form and found the goal. Jeanette Tucker at left midfield was left unmarked for most of the game, so able to make a few attacking runs and weave in and out of Poly defence but as always unable to finish it off with a goal. Great play by Kerry Burke on the right wing put home the 5th goal, from a long corner by Jo Smith.

Poly got steamed up and came out stronger in the second half. Ali Schomberg a welcome guest from the 2nd XI had a great game, however after a bit of pushing and shoving the umpire (thanks again Colin) had to have words with both Ali and her opponent. In Ali's defense this player had been a bit verbally through out the game and only time would tell who her next victim would be. Well done Ladies.

Player of the match was Jeanette Tucker despite wondering if she would be able to last the match due to a cold. More colds for you Jeanette!!

Ladies 4th XI