Match Reports For Week 7 Saturday 19th October Season 2002 - 2003

Mens 1st XI

The Blue army were looking to extend their one game-winning streak away to Old Cranleighans on Saturday. OC's results so far this season suggested they would get whooped big style. Liam Greene was welcomed back to the side after a summer wrestling lions in South Africa, and Neil Toulson made a welcome return after three months training as a beauty therapist in the States.

Staines started the game very poorly, in particular Mike and Larry, who seemed to have left their already limited talent in the changing room. As a result of this weak start OC's took an early one-goal lead to put immediate pressure on the blues. Staines responded laying siege to the OC's goal, and set up camp for the remainder of the first half. The OC's defence had their backs against the wall and it was not long before the Blues opened their account. John Stannard was first on the score sheet from a short corner strike. Larry not to be out done, scored from a blistering drag flick that surprised himself aswell as the opposition goal keeper. Fat Boy John made it three by half time from yet another short corner blast. Staines had dominated the first half, and were disappointed only to have slotted the three by the interval.

Staines continued to outplay OC's after the break. Two goals from Fu, one from Mashood and another tap in from the Trumanator, put the game well out of reach of the now demoralised opposition. The scoreline could have been more if not for a disallowed goal, and a missed flick from Larry that firmly secured him the dick of the day award. Robbie Watson seemed to stand out above the rest, a remarkable achievement for some one so short and was justifiably awarded the man of the match award. Staines had not played well but must take confidence from such a convincing 7-1 scoreline, roll on Gore Court next week.

Mens 2nd XI

A disappointing end to Staines’ winning streak this week with a loss to a strong but beatable Brighton side. Staines started strongly in an end-to-end game but failed to take their chances, especially from the numerous short corners. The turning point in the game was a mistake from normally solid skipper Andy Oliver. A sixteen-yard hit was squandered straight to the opposition centre forward who slotted it past an angry Harvey. The home side started to pull themselves together, but even with Shane’s, Johnny’s, Richies and Lee’s best efforts up front, still failed to find the back of the net. The second half started with Staines still on the attack, but a further lucky goal from Brighton drifted through Harvey’s legs to put them two ahead. Brighton and Hove were put under pressure until the end, but nothing came of it. A disappointing result all round, but one high point was Roger’s return to the twos with a great game in defence.

M of the M: Roger-reliable as always
D of the D: Andy-need I say

Mens 3rd XI

This week was a late starting game away on the new water based astro that Surbiton have commissioned. An interesting surface, very smooth, bouncy and wet ! Dave Hurd was away this week paying some very early morning calls to his clients, so Pid was reintroduced to damage the opposing centre forward and Scouse moved to do the sweepers role. After retraining, Dodger Greenway returned to the 2's and Gazza Kemish was drafted in. This was the top of the table clash between the only two sides with a 100% record, so it was likely to be interesting.

The first 10 minutes saw Surbiton in the ascendancy as they applied constant pressure with some slick movement. Staines had the occasional rare break into their half and eventually as the Blue army got more used to the bouncy nature of the surface, worked our way into the game. Porno Hudson became an early casualty when he was struck viciously on the thumb. This serious looking injury prevented him being able to grip his stick (no sex for a week or two then) and was forced to retire. The half wore on with little to choose between the sides as the ball was swept relentlessly up and down the pitch. Both keepers kept active, our Housewives Favourite guarding the Staines net with the determination of a scrapyard rottweiller. Somebody had to break the deadlock and unfortunately it was not Staines. During a series of 5 consecutive short corners which we couldn't seem to clear, eventually the ball was driven in past a crowd of players and slipped past the despairing sprawl of Rob. FECK....Arse! said our Skipper. 1-0 down at half time.

The second half started with Staines going flat out with some good attacks down our left side. We were pushing hard for the equaliser and that meant being more open at the back. Several times Staines errors resulted in chances for Surbiton. Mr Safety drilled a delightful pass towards the top of our D in order to work the ball round the back. Unfortunately the ball bounced past the slightly surprised Pace O'Brien and into the path of their winger going flat out in anticipation. A shot going at Mach 2 towards the roof of our net was going to need something special to stop it. Rob leapt up like a slumbering tom cat that had just had an electric cattle prod touched to its testicles and fended away the ball - phew ! Later, a fortunate bounce and a lucky deflection in a midfield melee, saw a gap open into which Surbiton charged. They managed to speedily work the ball into our D and slip it past our helpless keeper. Now with a 2-0 advantage Surbiton seemed to back off in order to protect it. For what seemed like 15 minutes or more Staines camped out around their '25', but attack after attack came to nought. Frustration was mounting, Forrest even shouted at our Skipper - something like "would you please pass the ball smoothly to my strong side, thank you ever so much" (what he really yelled cannot be repeated in case small children hear!). Then the ball was deflected out of play with Surbiton well up the field after a rare rush forward failed. Safety sprinted 50 yards to retrieve a lost cause, a 1-2 with Dunners got the ball swiftly into play and into their D, catching the opposition napping. Mart the Tart managed to control the incisive pass and slip it across to Mik Quinlan to bundle over the line. 2-1 and anything could happen in the last 5 minutes. That 'anything' came a bit too soon for our liking. Another ambitious Staines attack was repelled and Surbiton worked the ball back into our D, there was confusion amongst the smoke of battle, it looked like we had it cleared as Scouse gained possession, only for our impetuous keeper to kick it off the end of his stick back to Surbiton - more confusion and bodies lying across the goal line didn't stop the ball entering our net. BUGGERATION !

The result being a 1-3 loss. A flattering score line in the circumstances but to be fair the best team on the day won. This is the first time Staines 3rd Battalion have tasted the flavour of league defeat since the end of March 2001. We still ate all their food and drank their beer though, and very much look forward to the return fixture.

Hero: Despite his personal view that he didn't play well, Rob Godfrey actually made several very important contributions that earned him the award.

Big Girls Blouse: For one minor misdemeanour, an almost negligible indiscretion that appeared to stick in the minds of his team mates, Mr Safety won the vote for his not so safe ambitious pass across the D.

Mens 4th XI

Mens 5th XI

Another glorious day with the warm sunshine burning off the morning's first frost of the year. After losing three players on Thursday we had to dip into the newly formed 6th XI pool to make the numbers back up to eleven. Such luxuries would not have been lost on the home side who despite being a second XI could not muster a full team.

So armed with a numerical advantage we decided that we should pass the ball around and make use of the extra space - good plan - but would we execute it. From push back Chris gave it to Martin who passed it to Sohail. Some more passing and running by Martin, Sohail and Phil saw us enter the D and as a shot was heading just wide of the near post Phil nipped in and deftly touched the ball inside the post. 1-0 and only 30 seconds gone, and no Leatherhead player had touched the ball. Not a bad plan eh!?

For the next 15 minutes we swept forward menacingly but just could not convert the domination into goals. Chris made his bid for the nickname "Diego" [ re: Forlan] by missing a couple, a feat replicated by Jonathan. The keeper made some good stops and then we won a couple of shorts. Keith slipped one to Martin who's shot spun high into the air off the prone keeper who then swept the ball out of the D with the back of his stick - a penalty flick surely ... no. A minute later and the keeper does it again ... and once more no flick.

With Deepak, Sean and Jonathan starting to link up well down the left, and Chris pulling his defender out of the D it was inevitable that the 2nd goal would come. And it did when Deepak fed the ball to Martin who swept the ball into the corner after some fine work down the left. A few more chances went begging before the whistle went for half-time.

The second half saw us push the home side even deeper into their own half as Keith pushed up and whenever they tried to break free it was a rampant Dave Bassey who bustled them off the ball and rampaged forward. More chances came and went with Chris deciding that he would setup other players to miss rather than missing them himself thus reducing his chances of being Dick of the Day. The tactic was working well as Keith shelled a couple of shorts wide of the left post. When he put a couple on target Jonathan did some fantastic blocks ... why we don't know. And then Martin shelled one from a slip right just wide of the right post. Then in a replica of the first goal Phil nipped in at the near post to touch home his second. This pompted much ironic cheering and cries of about time too - but from the opposition - how humbling. Deepak then made a fine run to setup Sohail to score, who then added his second when he fooled everyone by shooting home at the near post. 5-0.

There was still time for us to go to sleep and let the opposition win a little bit of possesion and after a mess-up in the D a flick was awarded. Alex had to rub the sleep out of his eyes but with deep vein thrombosis setting in after being still for so long he couldn't strecth his leg far enough to stop the shot. 5-1.

There wasn't time this week to do the voting as everyone had to dash off back to the club in case they were needed for the 6th XI. Good to note that they also won beating an experienced NPL side 3-2 after being two goals goal down.

Mens Centurions

Ladies 1st XI

A trip to Henley produced a fast paced game in the October sunshine. Keen to improve on our second half performance from last week, and with our coach in attendance (albeit on crutches), the team tried, with some success, to retain possession and have the confidence in each other to pass the ball around the back. There were a number of attacking moves, one of which resulted in a spectacular reverse lob goal from Alex Stacey. However, the lack of clinical finishing in front of goal needs working on. An improved team display but a more positive temperament throughout the team when things aren't working out and the goals aren't going in would enhance the performance.

Ladies 2nd XI

Staines started off well and had most of the possession and eventually went 1 - 0 up with a goal from captain Helen Fisher. Unfortunately Henley were determined and during the second half equalized. This wasn't a league game, but Staines were still disappointed to have lost their lead.

Ladies 3rd XI

The home game started out well after a bracing talk from coach Duncan. We remembered the short passes and quick "one two" game practiced at the training sessions and went at Thames Valley with strength and passion. They were fairly quick to pick up on this and used interception as a tool to get round us. We played a mixture of a defensive and attacking game over the first 30 minutes, losing a bit of focus towards half time. Captain Kerry Burke made her feelings known about this and after the half time talk we went back out with increased enthusiasm to get our game back. The Thames team were not prepared to let us do this however and shot in 2 goals during the second half, that were aided in by our feet! The game ended 2-0 to Thames, but showed some good playing by the Ladies 3rd XI, which was then worked on with Duncan at the Wednesday night training session.

Ladies 4th XI