Match Reports For Week 9 Saturday 2nd November Season 2002 - 2003

Mens 1st XI

On arriving at the club it became apparent amphibious vehicles would have been the preferred form of transport for our away game at Maidenhead, it was raining and raining hard. Meanwhile Sid was doing fantastic trade from the back of his Toyota, flogging chamois grips to all who were aware of the dangers of playing with a slippy grip.

On arriving at Maidenhead the weather conditions had not altered and after a brief pre-match chat, we were sent out to acclimatise. Now at one with the weather, and a good two stone heavier through water retention, we waddled out to meet our opponents. This waddling continued for the first ten minutes of the game as Maidenhead ran rings around the drowned rats from Staines. Fu seemed to have the most difficulties adjusting to the conditions; his contact lenses must have fogged up as he failed time and time again to pass the ball to a member of his own team! Unsurprisingly, we were soon to find ourselves 2-0 down. A tactical decision by Andre to remove Fu from the field of play paid dividend and it was Staines turn to apply pressure to the Maidenhead defence. Although, the deficit was not reduced by half time the Blues were confident they stood a fighting chance in the second half.

The second half could not have started better, after Stuart Hall converted from a short corner in the opening minutes. This could have been the start of a great comeback, but Maidenhead immediately responded by banging a goal in at our end, arseholes, 3-1. Staines had to pile men forward in an attempt to reassert themselves on the game, but despite completely dominating the second half failed to convert in front of goal. Maidenhead hit us on the break to make the score 4-1 and despite attempts by the umpire to send off as much of the oppo as possible, the Blues only managed to sneak a token goal towards the end to make the scoreline more respectable, 4-2.

Dick of the day was a closely fought affair. Fu had played a stronger second half so as not to warrant him all the votes, but sneaked it regardless. Matt 'the cart horse' Truman got mentioned a few times for his remarkable turn of pace that actually saw him lose velocity when he attempted to break into a run. MOM was goalkeeper and birthday boy Neil for a strong game regardless of the four goals that flew past him.

Mens 2nd XI

A third place Staines took on a second place Maidstone on Saturday 2nd November.

After a 'no-nonsense, get the ball to the forwards' team talk, Staines were pumped up for this top of the table game.

From the outset Staines were all over the slow to start Maidstone, winning some early short corners and keeping the ball in the oppositions half.
A good run from Shane Abdul picked up a through ball from Lee Atkinson to leave him through on goal, Shane took the keeper wide before banging his shot into the bottom corner. This good spell of pressure was kept up for about 20 minutes when Staines slipped and let Maidstone see a little more of the ball. Staines managed to keep out some good attempts with good work from Jerry Gardian and Harvey Woods at the back. Good work between James Hall and Lee Atkinson down the right side beat 3 or 4 players before James picked out Jonny Dodwell in front of goal for Staines' 2nd.

A well worked short corner from Maidstone saw them come back to 2-1, but it was a far off glimmer of hope as Staines kept strong to get the win.

This means Staines are now second in the league behind Woking, next week we play Epsom.

M.O.M - Jonny Dodwell
D.O.D - Andrew Oliver

Mens 3rd XI

Meeting at the Club at 0900 was going to be challenging for several team members. Happily by 0915 we had all assembled with the exception of James the Scouse and Pace O'Brien. Scouse soon appeared in his transport of the day - he had experienced a little difficulty 'hot wiring' today's car of choice. Pace still not here, Skipper makes executive decision to send Mart the Tart to pick him up on the way. Apparently Mart and Robbie spent several minutes knocking on the door before wee willy winky let them across the threshold. Sleepy O'Brien though we were not meeting until 0930 and had found it difficult to tear himself away from Amanda in her lovely negligee !

We arrived at Battersea in good time and prepared for the game. Duty Team Bitch and water bottle minder this week was Sponging Student Lees-Low. Forrests hips were still creaking and groaning (what does he do to his woman to get them in that state ?), Mik had a sore knee, Tart had a stiff ankle and Porno was still recovering from a knackered thumb. Apart from that we were as fit as butchers dogs and raring to go. The first half finished at 0-0 but this scoreline did not reflect the work rate and magnificent all round team performance put in. Staines time and again penetrated the Wanderers half and regularly carved into their D. Our forward line was lining up to take pot shots but couldn't quite get past some desperate defending. Several short corners also came close, Pace O'Brien and Mr Safety having efforts blocked on the line, followed by good tries by Mik, Mart the Tart, and then another effort from Porno. Forrest and Mik charged up and down the wings like men possessed but to no avail, and we remained confident that goals would come very soon.

For the second half Dunners asked for more of the same and then prodded the Housewives Favourite out of his first half nap to get ready - just in case. For the first five minutes Wanderers managed to take the initiative and eventually forced their first short corner of the game. This they duly dispatched with a solid shot from the top D, fortunately for Staines the Umpire had already blown for a moving ball and disallowed the attempt. Within minutes after some good work by Porno and Garry in midfield we were back in their D with Mik winning another short for us. This time the efficient set up resulted in a slip to Dave Hurd who strolled up and smashed the ball past the keeper for 1-0. More domineering play by Staines a few more chances narrowly missed or scrambled away by the Wanderers defence until Sponging Student released Mik to win a free hit outside the D. Quickly taken Mik cheekily dinked the ball against a slow witted defender to win another short. This time Pace O'Brien flicked the ball back to Mr Safety lurking leopard like at the back post - he pounced, he swept, the goal bound ball ricochet off a defenders foot and into the path of Dave Hurd, who nonchalantly banged it home. Wanderers tried to get back at us but to avail, our defence was as leak proof as a sharks arse at 50 fathoms, with some particularly good work by Dave Hurd and Scouse who nicked everything off the Wanderers attackers. The game was put beyond doubt when another well practised short corner routine paid dividends. Pace blasted one in but a defender got a stick down, only to deflect the ball towards Mr Safety who swiped it into the far corner. Forrest was on hand just to make sure but he wisely thought better of trying to claim it, as our mild mannered Left Back went into his eardrum bursting celebration routine ('AVE IT!). Wanderers had a short rally at the end, no more than a dead cat bounce, as they say in the city. Rob G aren't his corn by making a couple of good blocks but otherwise they had never looked likely to score.

A very nice 3-0 win from an excellent team performance. Who on earth could be singled out for Man of the Match. With a clean sheet the defence was spotless. Dunners, Sponging Student, Garrrry Kemish and Porno worked like Trojans in midfield and the forwards were desperately unlucky not to get more goals. Even more difficult, who could be singled out for Big Girls Blouse.......or is it !

Hero: Tart deserved his votes as did Scouse, but Dave Hurd was voted in - two goals and some solid sweeping up at the back.
Big Girls Blouse: What time is it? Is it 0930 already ? Wee Willy Winky O'Brien. (Although Forrest and Lees-Low were both in the frame due to some palaver with their playing kit.)

Mens 4th XI

A greatly improved performance against the old foe, Ashford, showing right from the start that the buccaneering fours meant business and would not settle for anything less than a win.Not long into the game a well-worked solo effort from Jeremy put the team one nil up, however this did not slow us down and not long after we went two nil up from Jeremy again. The team worked well as a unit for the entire half with simple passes, the defence were once again well prepared for anything that the Ashford forward line could throw at us and when the odd mistake was made (not mentioning any names Sid) it was quickly cleared up by either the keeper or another defender.

Come the second half we were still two nil up and looking very strong, and that is the way that things stayed with the team working hard and playing good posses ional hockey. Rodney had recovered from his last match and played a good game up front and boy did he tell us afterwards in the clubhouse. Phil slotted in a third halfway through the second half but apart from that and shouting at the umpires he suffered from Rodney’s disease of last week (missing easy targets). This was the story for the whole team as we could have won by a greater margin if we could get our shots on target, this did not stop us trying to hit the backboard but unfortunately neither did it stop Ashford from trying and come the end of the match I was working hard to try to keep a clean sheet in goal. However all ended well and we
came away with a very pleasing 3-0 victory.

Mens 5th XI

Last week's close encounter with Croydon MO's consolidated our third place in the league but just showed that we have to play better if we are to overtake the table topping Woking Wasps. So today's game was going to be a good measure of our progress as Walton & Weybridge had been beaten 10-0 at Woking last week. Good news from the selection meeting (for our team that is) saw Richard, Roland, and Simon all come down from the 4th XI, thus adding even more strength to the attack and midfield.

The early exchanges went in favour of the home side as their blend of youth and experience played neat triangles using simple one and two touch hockey. This was due in part to the new faces and positional changes made from previous games, but was exacerbated by a tendency to dive in at the ball too much. After about 15 mins however we noticed that despite their neat play they had as much penetration as a plastic knife through concrete, so we upped the pace of the game and started to find the runs of Chris, Roland, and Sohail up front. From one of these breaks we won our first short corner. Roly injected with pace. Sean stopped and rolled the ball perfectly, and Keith looked around the sky, checked the direction of the clouds, assessed the skiddiness of the pitch from the falling rain read a book watched a film, and with a little time to spare smashed the ball against the backboard 1-0.

A few minutes Richard dropped his full back berth and swept forward over the half way line and shelled a diagonal ball to the top of the circle where Martin arrived to one touch the ball into the corner 2-0.

A few minutes later and the same move down the left saw another ball into the box and Martin was on hand again to one touch the ball into the corner again
3-0.

Roland made a couple of mazy dribbles across the pitch from left wing and sent a shot inches wide of the post. More short corners and with more pressure from the defenders Keith had to slip the ball to Roland, who was a bit too unselfish and tried to pass the ball across the circle rather than sweeping it in first time. He must be carrying too much ruth around with him .. cast it aside young lad to become ruhtless ...

Another short corner, and amzingly when Roland injected it in I could see the man on the near post standing there with his stick over his shoulder. A second later and before his stick was on the ground the ball was crashing against the backboard from another Keith Hine special. 4-0.

Half-time and the rain was getting heavier ... and the team talk was of unfinished business .. we are still not supporting each other well enough.

The home side to their credit made some tactical changes that allowed their back four to link up with their midfield so that they could counter-attack quicker than they had in the first half. And it nearly worked as they had the better of the first 15 mins and forced Andy Bromley into a fine save, and also sent a couple of dangerous crosses in that Richard had to deflect wide.

Having weathered the storm the industry of Simon and Martin started to turn the game back in our favour and from a midfiled tussle the ball was shipped upto the unmarked Chris "Diego" Marcus. We all held our breath as he sprinted to the top of the circle ... and smashed it home for 5-0. Bad news for Chirs though in that the real Diego scored again for Man Utd so he remains one ahead of Chris.

Still time for a few more short corners one of which saw Martin complete his hatrick after a rebound fell kindly and he pushed it between the legs of the defender on the line, and then another saw Roland score from a more ruthless finish as he passed it against the defenders stick and over the line ... 7-0.

A good win ... but not quite as good as the ten Woking scored ... but next week we hopefully see the return of Gordon and Frank so we should be at our strongest yet this season for the most important game.

Mens Centurions

Ladies 1st XI

Saturday

Two games, two wins - the Ladies 1st XI were back to winning ways this weekend. The league game on Saturday at home to Teddington saw much of the hard work from the training ground over the last fortnight pay off. The team played with renewed confidence and vigor. The game was played at a fast pace and Staines looked much more comfortable passing the ball around the back and attacking down both wings - with some lovely two touch hockey, particularly down the right flank from Kate Bramley and Mel Attfield. Goals came from the "youth" element of the team with the three Royal Holloway college girls scoring one each, Anna Truman, Alex Stacey and Christina Li.

Sunday

Sunday's Second Round of the Women's Cup against Battersea Wanderers was further evidence of Staines' improving passing game. The opposition came at us from the start with some skillful players and big hitters. However, despite a 15 minute period when Staines looked a little jaded at the edges, they soon remembered their passing game and had the opposition defending for much of the first half. A goal finally came just before half time - this was the first of Sarah Hamilton's brace. The team took control of the game in the second half and stepped up a gear and Battersea's defense came under a barrage of attack. Staines had a dozen short corners but failed to convert any - giving the coach something to work on before next weekend. Having missed a flick, Staines stuck to their game plan and soon notched up two more goals in the second half giving them a 3-0 victory and the exciting prospect of a third round clash v National League opponenets St Albans in a fortnight's time.

Ladies 2nd XI

This game was not only a "graveyard shift" pushback time, but was also in North London and didn't stop peeing down the entire game. This really didn't help Anya who had just washed her hair and was trying to keep it dry wearing a gorgeous yellow woolly hat, that looked most fetching!!! With facilities non existent, the team were determined to drive home with all 3 points. Hendon, who are so far unbeaten in the league were also just as determined but Staines started the better, who passed the ball around beautifully and had obviously paid attention to team tactics at training on Wednesday. Even better that they put this into practise and was the result of the first goal. Ollie swept the ball out around to Yvonne and then back through Ollie to Debs, who then drove the ball down the right and across to Sarah Chandler, who passed to Ellie who looked for Juliet to bash the ball into the goal. However, it hit the post but Jo Ive and Juliet clambered onto the free ball to score the first goal. Hendon at this time was playing with a kicking back, as their goalie was late. Staines tried to use this time to increase their lead but unfortunately lost some focus and Hendon took control of the game and equalized just before half time. Hels Fisher who although suffering with Tonsillitis on the side line was still able to encourage and cheer us on on and at half time made sure we started concentrating on the game and start passing the ball and keep possession rather than slipping into our "lets all run like headless chickens" mentality.

We took comments on board and during the next half Staines played as well if not better than the first 15 minutes of the first half. Staines had almost all the possession and Anya was able to contemplate thinking about being 30 and her party that night. The defence moved the ball around at the back and Sarah and Ellie in midfield worked well in driving the ball forward. The second goal came from such a move when Helen White swept the ball into the goal to make it 2 - 1. This encouraged Staines and suddenly the confidence lost over the past couple of weeks was back in full and there was simply no stopping the ladies from this point. The 3rd goal was hammered home by Sarah Chandler from a short corner to record a very satisfying win for Staines.

By the end of the game it was then late, dark and still raining and no where to change out of soaking wet clothes - so huddled under a bit of shelter, Whitey, Ju and Chandler decided to strip off and once comfortable in dry clothes, noticed a security camera pointing straight at them, so clearly the security guard won that day aswell! Not even a drive back on the busy North Circular could dampen Staines spirits who look to continue their winning streak from here on........

Ladies 3rd XI

Ladies 4th XI