Match Reports For Week 12 Saturday 23rd November Season 2002 - 2003


Mens 1st XI

This proved to be a great disappointment to Staines after such a promising victory last week. As with all previous local derby's this one didn't lack any of the usual excitement and rivalry. The game was fast and furious from the outset and unfortunately Ashford came the better off and soon scored 2 goals. Staines heads didn't drop and battled on and were awarded a goal towards the end of the first half, after quick thinking from Geraint Hughes stole the ball from an Ashford free hit and passed the ball to Mashood Hussan who clinically put the goal past the Ashford keeper to make it 2 - 1.

In the second half, Ashford kept on the pressure and increased their lead to 4 - 1 after Staines were unable to capitalize from any short corners they won. A dual sending off of Staines Stuart Hall and Captain John Stannard hampered Staines chances further and the final score remained 4 -1. This result could have been more if it wasn't for Staines stand in keeper Harvey Woods who made some stunning saves.

Mens 2nd XI

The long haul to Milton Keynes felt less of a drag with the exciting prospect of playing in The National Stadium. In the event, the poor condition of the pitch, a disappointing draw, awful weather (including hailstones!) and cold showers after the match left us a bit deflated.

As has been too often this season, Staines conceded the first goal, this one from a short corner. However, also typically, we pulled one back almost immediately after some good work by Shahin Abdul to win us a short corner. Lee Atkinson's superb flick clipped the inside of the Keeper's left post before rattling around the back of the goal.

Staines dominated the match from thereon but failed to capitalise on the chances created. Then some very slack marking allowed the Milton Keynes right midfielder acres of space to gallop down the wing unchallenged until he met with our newly promoted keeper, Rob Godfrey. Rob's valiant dive was not enough to prevent the ball being slotted home and we were behind again. Staines piled on the pressure winning a short corner with about 5 minutes to go. Another rapier-like flick from Lee was prevented from entering the net by a defender's stick held above shoulder-height. Lee himself despatched the resultant stroke with aplomb. Further domination and another short corner failed to provide the winner and the final result was 2-2.

The "Dick of the Day" vote was a close run affair but in the end taken by Rich Beeson. Man of the match was easily won by Lee Atkinson not only for two superb goals but also an excellent performance throughout.

The point for the draw leaves us in second place, 4 points behind next week's opponents, Woking. A return to some of the scintillating early season form will ensure victory.

Mens 3rd XI

A return this week to the Stade de Illuminaire and a return to the old firm derby match for the first time in three seasons. Some staff changes this week - Big Rob being borrowed by the 2's was replaced by 'slim Jim' Richard Smith. The 2's decided to swap Chris Hine for Gary Kemish, ha! their loss, and they will have to manage with an imbalance of gingers. Staines 3rd Battalion were boosted by the presence of the cheerleading contingent led by Phil Lazlo who, with his impressive thighs poking out from under his mini-skirt, waved his pom-poms and generally whipped the crowd into a frenzy.

Game on, and both sides quickly settled swapping turns to attack. It soon became a typical derby between evenly matched teams with the play ebbing and flowing the full length of the pitch. During the first half Staines could claim to have got the upper hand with regular charges forward courtesy of the speedy wing work. Mart the Tart was unlucky when their Keeper smothered an early shot, then the rest of the front line took turns to go close. Forrest almost rounded the keeper twice but he couldn't shut down his afterburners and his speed took him too far past, then out of the D, then over the horizon, a quick planetary orbit and back on the wing again. Chris Hine did well supporting the attacks arriving from deep midfield and was also unable to convert a chance or two. Each side won a couple of Shorts a piece but nothing came of them. Eventually some good work by Mik opened up a gap in the Ashford D, the Tart was in like a rat up a drainpipe to latch onto the ball and flick it past the keeper for the only goal of the half.

A pleasing 35 minutes work by Staines, the Skipper was relatively satisfied and briefed us for the 2nd part without saying 'Feck', even once! Dind-ding! round two and Ashford charged out of their corner playing four forwards, clearly determined to get something out of this game. They applied relentless pressure to such an extent that Staines for a long time could barely get out of our own half. Our forward line had to come back deeper and deeper to support the defensive bastions, who to man never got chance for a breather in this half. Slim Jim pulled off several good blocks and saves, one of which he patted away from the top corner in showboating fashion (flash git!). The bastions were clearly under siege and Ashford did their very best to breach our walls. They brought up their big guns, they catapulted old sinks and dead animals over the barricades, but the thin blue line would not yield. It took a rare error of judgement from the otherwise impeccable Stroller Hurd to change the scoreline. A 16 yard free hit was drilled by Dave towards our centre midfield, but was picked off by the Ashford ring who were able to swarm over the upturned carts and piles of old logs, penetrated deep into our exposed and naked D, whereupon they did unspeakable things to our young and previously innocent keeper and put the ball into the net for good measure. 1-1 and we were in grave danger of an upset. Dunners warned us - "If we lose this game, I'm going to make you all watch the Ladies 4's". That motivation galvanised Staines to greater endeavours. Although Ashford still had most of the attacks, Staines now threatened them regularly on the break to keep their defence more honest. We tightened everything up and with the extra grit and determination saw out the remaining 15 minutes in what was a stalemate. Each side gained a short corner in the dying minutes which could have settled the issue - and each side cocked them up. Result a 1-1 draw and a creditable result for both sides, a hard fought contest - but fair, with a not a single card required.

Hero:- Initially a tied vote between The Tart, Mik, Dunners, Chris Hine and Slim Jim Smith. Pace O'Brien effectively had the casting vote but he was unaware of the situation - Smithy won the shirt for his tidy performance in goal (not all keepers are fat, Rob)
Girls Frillies:- Again a close vote between two candidates. Forrest was one, for being too fast and overshooting their D - must get his brakes relined. But Dave Hurd just got the award for his one and only error of the game - his spectacular free hit to their centre forward !

Mens 4th XI

 

Mens 5th XI

 

Mens Centurions

 

Ladies 1st XI

No league game this week for the Ladies 1st XI, so instead they played a friendly against a strong Barnes opposition. Staines won comfortably with the goals scored by the Royal Holloway girls Alex Stacey (2) , Christina Lind, Anna Truman.

Ladies 2nd XI

Staines Ladies 2nd XI continued their push to the top of the league this week when they entertained PHC Chiswick. Staines applied the pressure quickly and were soon a goal up when Eleanor Ward struck the ball from a short corner which was touched in by Juliet Porter. The second goal came just before the end of the first half, when Alison Schomberg made a darting run from the top of the D to push the ball into the goal to make it 2 - 0. PHC Chiswick came out a determined team in the second half and a sloppy pass from Staines gifted them a goal to make it 2 - 1. Staines then picked themselves up and regained concentration and saw a flurry of goals all scored by in form striker Jo Ive who put 5 away in the second half. This leaves Staines to play a top of the table clash this Saturday against Eastcote at home.

Ladies 3rd XI

This proved to be a tough game for newly promoted Staines 3rd XI. However, they battled back to make it 1 - 1 from a goal scored by Kerry Burke, only to be denied in the final minutes by a Winchmore Hill goal.

Ladies 4th XI