Match Reports For Week 13 Saturday 30th November Season 2002 - 2003

Mens 1st XI

After last weeks poor showing against Ashford, Staines were keen to take on Tulse Hill at home. The game started brightly for Staines with some lively running up front and in midfield causing Tulse Hill many problems. These transferred themselves into a number of short corners, the first of which was converted by John Stannard. There then followed a period of complete domination by the blue army. Some excellent midfield play by Mashood Hussain, Mike Farmer and Stuart Hall led to James Chapmans hat trick, one from a short corner and two from penalty strokes. This took the game to half time with Staines in complete control.

The second half started with a very relaxed Staines outfit looking to continue their goal rush, however they received a bit of a shock when Tulse Hill clawed their way back into the game snatching three quick fire breakaway goals. At 4 -3 it was now anyone's game, but a great goal from Mashood and a tap in from Matt Truman strengthened Staines grip on the game. This was followed by two more strikes from dead ball expert James Chapman to take Staines into an 8 - 3 lead. Again with the game safe Staines relaxed and Tulse Hill snatched another goal. This spurred the blue army into action once more and some quality build up play through the midfield and forward Robbie Watson led to Matt Truman sliding the ball into the goal for Staines' ninth.

This was a much improved performance from the blue army, but they are going to need to cut out some silly unforced errors which still creep into their game.

Mens 2nd XI

After the long trip to Woking the boys seemed quite fresh ! With no Beeson to perform the warm up Gary Kemish NDA, MBO, LBW carried out a more qualified session in preparation for the game.

With a strong Staines side including debutante Jason (don't know his surname yet) from South Africa we always new Woking would be a force to be reckoned with.

The game started at an expected fast pace but an early error from the defence, no names to be mentioned (born in '76), allowed Woking to sneak what really was a soft goal.

As usual Staines reacted immediately. The ball was worked well down the right and Jonny squared to Shane who slotted it past the keeper making the honours even.

Staines were on top now applying the pressure with some good runs from Lee and Jonny, Clive even managed to get a nosebleed getting into the opp's 'D'. Liam continued to take on their midfield by consistently trying to slip the ball underneath the laid stick and wondering why he couldn't get past. Eventually a well earnt corner was rewarded with a rasping shot from skipper Oliver which took a deflection from a defender to take the lead.

Further good build ups and attacks were thwarted by some unfortunate decisions of which Woking took advantage of and managed to seal their second just before half time to make honours even again.

"Don't worry lads, only one down", came the start of the half time team talk. Olly nearly paved his way to yet another 'dick of the day' award.

The second half saw increased pressure from Woking and more decisions going awry. Shane noticed that the ball hit a defenders foot but the umpire was unaware of this, out went the teddy bear followed by the dummy and rattle. Shane was rewarded with a green card. Not long after, another interesting decision was made, Jonny and Liam were quite vocal but not as much as Shane. This time he threw his new 'my first Sony', Action man, Teletubbies and Tweenies. The umpired was also generous and this time showed him a yellow card. By now ToysRUs were considering a second order before Christmas.

Our game degenerated allowing Woking to come back and score another soft goal from a short corner.

Two three down with some tough decisions against us, overall not a bad performance.

Man of the Match: Anton. closely fought by Jason.
Dick of the Day: Old Buzz Lightyear himself, Shane.

Mens 3rd XI

Another home game and another tough one. It seems that we dispatch our next nearest rivals in the league one week, only to end up playing the new nearest rivals the following game. CoP were lying third having overtaken Ashford, it is clear that the cream of the division his risen to the top with Surbiton, Staines, Cop and Ashford forming the substance. More staff changes - Rich Beeson being redeployed from the 2's displaced Forrest this week. We retained Chris Hine and Porno Hudson returned from rugby duties.

The Skipper delivered a thorough pre-match briefing, thankfully not labouring on the clichés, and then it was down to business. Staines made a fantastic start with a swift Quinlan probe down the left wing followed by some Mart the Tart prodding. This resulted in the Tart unleashing an angled shot towards the far post, at which Rich Beeson arrived in timely manner to guarantee the goal. 1-0 and barely a minute gone. That was probably the best move of the half as Cop then battled hard to get back on terms. The Staines bastions were regularly assaulted and we shipped far too many short corners (Sponging Student was noted to be particularly skilled in hacking away with the panache of a Canadian lumberjack). Eventually from a short corner, Cop managed to latch onto a loose ball after Pace O'Brien had blocked a goal attempt, in the melee the Cop forward was just able to slid the ball under the collapsing form of the Housewives Favourite for the equaliser. The rest of the half was spent with each team battering away to little effect, our attacks lacked the ultimate thrust and penetration, we didn't even win a short corner.

Dunners gave a half time assessment using all his subtle Irish charm, basically telling us that we needed to get our act together and work harder. The second half opened with a brief flurry from Staines that was counter attacked by Cop, although the blue army did appear to be gaining more ground. Cop continued to defend in numbers and managed to press forward in attack through their very capable central midfield. The aggro-ometer had racked up a notch or two with several players from both sides having private moments with the umpires. Notably for Staines, Pace attempting to insert his mighty weapon into a Cop forwards posterior, followed by Scouse Forrester for mugging several Cop players and robbing their loose change. Fortunately for both sides cards were not waved. Chances were being created at both ends but to no avail, Big Rob G several times got down quickly (He is a big lad and gravity helps) to make important blocks. Then just as it looked like the Blue army were making some headway disaster struck. From a Staines '16 yard' free hit the defence tried to switch the ball across the back only for the normally solid, dependable, impeccable, safe as houses, Mr Safety to scuff his pass. A Cop forward was in like a whippet snatched up the ball and clinically slipped it past the massive mass that was sliding out from the Staines goal to block. Now we were 1-2 down, Skipper has gone very purple, better stay clear of him for a while, time for the team to show some character. And 'character' was found as Staines battled on remorselessly looking for at least an equaliser, but time was ebbing away, Cop defended in numbers and we actually won our first short corner. First shot from Pace was blocked, Mr (formally known as) Safety pounced on the rebound desperate to make amends but that was blocked and cleared towards the Tart, a whistle blew for a second short but Martin was already swinging. The ball struck the keeper who was not best pleased, he charged out as if to take matters up personally with Martin, saw how big our chap is, so he retreated back to his net to nurse his bruise. With perhaps 10 minutes or so left the Skipper made a brave tactical decision, Pace O'Brien went off for a rest allowing an extra attacker on. Staines then went into kitchen sink mode i.e chucked everything forward including the aforementioned domestic appliance. With barely a minute left Staines won a rare short corner - knowing looks were exchanged between Formally Known As Safety and Mart the Tart. Plan B - the rapidly taken short short-corner was executed superbly, taking Cop and some of our own players by surprise. The Tarts crashing shot split the backboard - you could almost taste the relief. A 2-2 draw means that the 3rd Battalion still remain unbeaten at home in league hockey since 3rd February 2001!

Hero: There can be only one - the last minute strike was enough to seal a landslide vote for the Tart.
Girls Blouse: Although Scouse and Stroller Hurd were profligate in plumbing hits to opposing players, only one incident stuck in the minds. For his one and only error, (admittedly costly) the defender formally known as Mr Safety was the winning nominee by another landslide.
Subtlety Award: Mart the Tart - "Vince you get credited with a goal assist but you are still getting my vote for Girls blouse !"
Mention in Despatches: Scouse Forrester supplied the Teas after spending Friday night ram raiding Tescos. An excellent job he made providing a tasty sausage casserole.

Mens 4th XI

Mens 5th XI

After last week's cancelled game we were chomping at the bit to get back into action this week, especially given Thames Valley's surprise home defeat by Purley, and Woking's narrow 1-0 win over the hapless Kenley 4's who we thrashed 16-0 two weeks ago. All this meant that we were sitting second in the league just one point behind leaders Woking.

The visitors have not had an impressive run of results recently but their record suggested that they were a solid side defensively but a bit lightweight up front. The initial exchanges saw us take the game to them but a tendency to dribble with the ball a bit too much saw some promising positions wasted. Most of the progress was coming down the left side where Sean kept winning the ball on his reverse side and releasing Roly down the wing. Inevitably the build up of pressure led to a flurry of short corners. Most were blocked by the very fast runners off the line but not all as Keith crashed one inside the near post to put us 1-0 up. We nearly opened them up again when Sean switched a crossfield ball to Keith rampaging forward from his newly created right back playmaker role, but the visitors were no mugs and were getting good interceptions in and moving the ball well into midfield. They even managed a few forays into home territory and caused some anxious moments for Deepak as he was harried into a couple of reckless challenges and bit of back stick work.

Frank charged all over our half of the pitch like a mad bull just to make sure they didn't get a sniff of a goal, and then we made another break down the left only to be halted by a visitors boot. From Sean's sweet strike into the circle Sohail was first to the near post to deflect it home for 2-0. Minutes later another Sean drive into the circle saw Sohail jab the ball upwards - but only into a defender's throat - nasty - a bit like watching Brett Lee bowling at the England batsmen in Oz.

Having established a comfortable cushion we now made really hard work of it for 15 minutes with too many long passes and not enough support play. Shortly before the interval Martin intercepted a 16-hit and after a quickfire exchange of wall-passes with Gordon we were denied a goal by an illegal challenge and won another shorty. Keith smashed it home again - but this time Big Al ruled it out for moving ball.

Half-time: 2-0. Not a bunch of happy campers at half-time .. not enough quality hockey. Come on let's play it the way we know we can.

The second half got off to a bad start as we failed to adapt to the Addiscombe tactical changes that seem to have given them an extra body in midfield and a much stronger hitter for their 16's. This saw the game played 20 yds further away from their goal, and at 2-0 the game wasn't over. The visitors sensed that maybe they could rescue something out of the game after all, and so they made a few forays into our territory. Fortunately Martin, Sean and Diego all worked hard to get back and cover, and any threat was snuffed out before it got too close to our 25.

Having resisted the best the oppo could give us we started to make serious inroads into their defence especially now that Gordon had pushed up to centre forward. After some swift attacking moves we won another short corner and this time Keith shot was blocked but fell to Gordon on his reverse side .... no problem just lay the stick flat and hammer an unstoppable reverse stick shot high into the top corner. 3-0.

The earlier hard work was now beginning to pay off as the visitors tired rapidly allowing Gordon to smash home his second for 4-0. Keith thundered home another exocet from a short corner for 5-0, and then Martin reacted first to a rebound off the keeper's pads to slot home number six. All in all a hard-working display, and a satisfactory result. Especially pleasing for Frank will be the fact that the visitors never even had a shot on goal, and for that matter I cannot even remember one of their players touching the ball inside our circle.

Full time: 6-0

Man of the Match : Sean romped away with it for his work rate and some magnificent pick-ups on his reverse stick side
Dick of the Day: Sohail won again - most notably for three "fresh air" shots when trying to hit in crosses from the right wing.

Mens Centurions

Ladies 1st XI

Another double header this weekend and two more victories. A comfortable win against middle of the table Hampstead and Westminster in the League maintains our position at the top of the Premier table alongside Harrow. Staines had most of the attacking play but failed to capitalise on the vast number of scoring opportunities. The 3 goals were scored by Anna Truman, Nicki Walsh and Ruth Hine. However, it was a solid team performance with some well-worked attacks particularly down the right flank.

A 4-0 victory over Solihull Blossomfield in Round 2 of the Women's Plate has earned the team an away tie against Norwich in Round 3. Again, Staines had most of the possession and went 2-0 up in the first half after Sue O'Connell drove the ball into the back of the net from the edge of the circle and Nicki Walsh beat the keeper with a neat reverse flick. The goal tally was doubled in the second half with goals from Mel Atfield and a spectacular solo effort from Anna Truman.

It has been a busy month and Staines hope to finish the year with one more league victory next week and restart their play-off campaign in January.

Ladies 2nd XI

This was our most important game of the season so far, and the nerves of the team ran high. Before the game Coach Stannard talked us through the game and made sure we were all focused and confident of winning the game. This proved crucial as we took the game to Eastcote from the start and we were unlucky not to go a goal up in the first half. Eastcote came out determined in the second half and took the lead after converting a short corner. We all kept our composure and determination though and through the welcome support of the home crowd, we picked our game up and equalized after a great run from midfield by Ellie who pulled the ball back across the D for Juliet to put the goal in the back of the net to the relief of the team. The game from this point was hard and fraught and the last 10 minutes very tense after Eastcote were awarded 7 short corners in a row, but the determination and concentration of our defence proved the strongest and closed down every attempt to keep the score at 1-1.

Ladies 3rd XI

Staines deserved this league win. After a couple of unlucky losses in recent weeks, it was good to see a positive start. An early cross from Kerry Burke to Kath Windsor-Bain who laid the ball straight into the backboards. The pressure was maintained by Staines on a lack lustre Hampstead& Westminster (H&W) who succumbed to another cross from Kerry on the right. It was again intercepted by Kath who slipped it to Louise Clark who made her mark on the score sheet with a slip past the keeper. Linda McCormack, in midfield played superbly and distributed the ball magnificently to enable the forwards to utilise their great positioning. Sarah Pickerill standing in for the unavailable keeper made a couple of early saves, depriving H&W any mark at half time.

The second half started well for Staines but clearly H&W had had a stern talking to in the interval. They were more positive and their forwards made several piercing forays into the Staines D. At last their centre and left forward broke away from their markers and collected the ball, slipping it past Sarah.

Players of the match were Linda McCormack and Sarah Pickerill.

Ladies 4th XI