Match Reports For Week 20 Saturday 18th January Season 2002 - 2003

Mens 1st XI

The first league match after the Christmas break saw us travel to Croydon to play Old Whitgiftians. Clearly all had overdone it over the festive period, and in hindsight we would have benefited more walking to this away fixture to shed some pounds. The pitch had been double booked and originally there was some debate as to whether the fixture would actually take place. Looking back, this could have been a cunning plan by the oppo to lure us into a false sense of security, as Old Whits did not arrive until 20 mins before push back. Meanwhile we had been entertaining ourselves by playing Mr Chippy on their new bouncy pitch. The skipper however, was soon to confiscate our ball, as we were all pulled together for was to be a rather rushed warm-up.

Old Whits started the game the strongest, and Staines were soon to find themselves on the back foot. It was an awful first 15 minutes where stupid mistakes cost us, and we were soon to find ourselves 3-0 down - we were getting pummelled by a team who for years we have dominated. Although we did create some chances of our own, we failed to capitalise, and the score remained 3-0 until half time.

Half time and the fuel tanks seemed empty, all the Red Bull in Surrey was going to struggle to pull us out of this mess. Obviously the aim was to get an early goal to give us some hope for a come back - nice idea hey, unfortunately it was Old Whits who added to their tally first. At 4-0 we were playing for pride, having resided to the fact we could not win this battle we attempted to beat them up instead. Consequently, the yellow cards emerged as both Financial controller Hall and Gobby Servais were both given their marching orders. Robbie raised his fist in anger but failed to act as he realised the guy he wanted to hit was bigger than him - surprisingly this happens a lot to Robbie. Staines did grab a consolation goal towards the end of the game after the two yellow card boys combined well for Stuart Hall to convert. Hopefully we can put the Christmas blues behind us and move forward over the next week to put in a convincing performance against Old Cranleighans, as we return for the first time in 2003 to the fortress Worple Road.

On Sunday in the HA trophy Staines lost 2 - 1 to Trojans in a hard fought game that the side from Southampton just managed to edge. Staines' only goal came from a short corner strike by John Stannard. However, it was a much better display from the blue army and although disappointed by the result, Staines will be looking to improve again in next saturday's game at home to Old Cranleighan's

Mens 2nd XI

On a 'lovely day' Staines II's entertained Winchester II's.

Staines started off a bit sluggish after the Christmas break but ran off the pies quicker than Winchester. The first moment of inspiration came when Clive Bolton surged into the oppo's D down to the line and squared across the D for Greenway who got in front of the defenderto tuck away Staines' first goal. It was Bolton again who took the initiative and re-emerged in the oppo's D this time to defy the keeper himself making it two nil. Staines pushed on relentlessly applying the pressure, this time with Oliver who Blasted the ball into the D aimed at Greenway but slightly wide forcing Greenway to somehow deflect the ball back from right to left, after it had passed him, into the goal. Three nil.

Again Staines forged forward winning a long corner of which Jonny was itching to take. He had to wait while play was stopped so Harvey could re-adjust his 'equipment'. Eventually the whistle blew to resume play and immediately Jonny
shelled the ball across the ball to Greenway, who was at this stage - on fire, to comfortably deflect the ball into the back of the net to complete his hat-trick. Just before half time some slack defending allowed Winchester to have a free shot against Harvey who saved the initial shot but was left no chance with the follow up.

Four one up at half time, the message was to carry on and get some more.

This we did with a blistering run into the D from Jonny followed with an equally blistering shot flying just over the keeper's shoulder. Five one. Some great passing from defence to midfield to attack was a joy to watch finished
of with another goal from Jonny who clinically finished off the move. Six One.

Jason, playing midfield this week, helped form another attack and received the ball back in the oppo's D. For his first shot of the season it proved to be rather special, he magnificently reverse hit the ball from the top of the D which flew past the keeper giving him no chance. Seven one.

A great result giving Staines an early boost in the table, now level on points with second place Epsom but a few goals behind on goal difference.

A special mention to Barry, for a great debut.

MOM - Roger Greenway, hat-trick.
DOD - Barry, turning up over an hour early.

Mens 3rd XI

Another away game this week and a long trip to the south coast to play the Chichester adolescents select eleven. However, before leaving we were able to give some support to the Men's 5's who were locked in a top of the table battle with Thames Valley. Doing very well too, but we were forced to witness one terrible example of ill tempered petulance from one of our defenders, when Staines gave away a P-flick! The watching public looked on in horror and several watching Mothers gathered their small children away protectively. I'm sure this very senior member will give himself a stiff talking to !

Porno Hudson could not play due to a back injury, but came along for the ride. He wandered around wearing a back brace that made him look like a mutant ninja turtle. Father Ted McDunners was away on other duties so Mart the Tart was skipper and took charge of the little black book of clichés. Highly detailed maps and instructions were provided by the chief navigator, Mr Safety. So we all arrived in good time - except Mik and Pid who somehow contrived to get lost - again ! Learn to read a map you twats! Chichester were well prepared with subs and an over competitive mother watching from the sidelines. They also had a new forward with a huge Afro hairdo, like something out of the 'hair bear bunch'. Robbie said it was a Council hair cut. i.e. you leave it long enough until it becomes unsightly and someone complains, then the council come round and cut it for you for free !

After an opening end to end flurry the game settled down with Staines being the most proactive and keeping the home side mostly in their own half. This early pressure soon resulted in a short corner. Rowley, Rengger and O'Brien lined up and Pace O'Briens unstoppable shot crashed into the goal off the keepers pads. Still the Blue army pushed forward looking to extend the lead and so far the Bastions snuffed out any Chichester forays into our backyard. Then against the run of play Hair Bear broke free for Chichester leaving Pid stranded looking at his map for directions back to our D. Chichester's formidable pace resulted in a well taken equaliser, the Housewives favourite having no chance. Slowly Chichester worked their way into the game and began to dominate - relying on their quick breaking forwards and well drilled substitutions to keep up the pressure. In a 10 minute spell Staines let the game slip. The home side managed to 'walk' the ball past our midfield then sprinted at the over stretched defence like a gang of cheetahs. They potted two more goals to put Staines 1-3 down at half time, although we rallied late in the half and created several chances to reduce the gap, the opportunities were squandered.

Chichester were clearly determined and we knew we would have to get stuck in hard if we were to salvage anything. The second half saw a much better performance from Staines. Although Chichester still remained dangerous the closest they came to scoring was a short corner deflected high over the bar. Pid now had the measure of hair bear and Sponging Student worked hard dropping in to support the defence. Stroller Hurd was an immense bastion and covered well whilst Pace O'Brien trundled forward to lend extra weight to our attacks. As small consolation we can claim to have dominated the second half, but we seemed to lack any defence breaking devastating pace. Their keeper and sweeper managed to keep out anything goal bound. Adrian fell on top of a Chichester adolescent during a tangled tackle, managing to burst a few of his black-heads. This brought an immediate reaction from the watching competitive Mother who looked like she was going to climb over the fence. "Pick on someone your own size!" was the predictable call. At 6 feet 5, Adrian was going to find that a difficult thing to do. Staines battered away at the determined Chichester defence and yielded two more short corners that went tantalisingly close. The first was a Mr Safety sweep to the far post where the defender stopped the ball on the line, Chubby Jezza almost managed to turn the loose ball in the net. The second a shot by Adrian which was almost deflected past the keeper who just managed to get an outstretched arm in the way. A final attack won a last short corner as time on the clock ran out. Staines calmly set it up. Deano screamed in a shot, the rebound span towards Chubby Jezza who made no mistake for a consolation goal. An unfortunate 2-3 loss, the game being lost in that first half 10 minute spell of ineptitude.

Hero: Marc Lees-Low and Dave Hurd were the key nominations with Dave shading the vote as probably the only player who played at 100% for the full 70 minutes.

Big Girls Frillies: Mik Quinlan for getting lost again and missing a couple of sitters; and Chubby Jezza for ineffectual dribbling and drinking Bacardi Breezers, were granted equal votes. However a quick second round vote saw a landslide for the Bacardi Breezer drinking Chubby Chap.

Mens 4th XI

Mens 5th XI

An intriguing battle this week as Staines the only team with a 100% home record, and top scoring home side in the league, pit their wits against a defence that lives up to the old "tight as a ducks arse" saying ... a miserly four goals conceded all season, never more than one in a game, and as we talked to them before the game they said two of those were from flicks, and two from open play. Reading between the lines this means none from short corners as well ... impressive stuff! Despite being so good in defence they were still averaging over 3 goals per game. Encouragement came from their lack of goals against the better teams.

Having lost the reverse fixture on the opening day of the season 0-1 to their only shot on target we were wary of the dangers that lay ahead. With Simon "Big Dipper" Schutte away this week (he missed the Woking game to join the 4's in a 7-1 romp away in Wallingford ... and now skips another key match ... is there a trend). There were counter-rumours circulating that he was missing through an injury sustained last week at Old Reigations ... difficult you might think as we didn't actually play. The theory being that he suffered a repetitive strain injury from playing darts in the pub after the "match" ... an 11-minute 54 dart checkout being a particular highlight.

With Deepak also missing many thanks go to acting 4th XI skipper Phil Laszlo and Keith Hine for pulling out all the stops to ensure that all the lower sides went in with strong squads this weekend. A quick count revealed a rather heavy weighting towards the attackers, so Martin "Donkey OT" was switched to right back ... Richy Rich "Kryten" was switched to left back, leaving "Diego" and "Mr Chips" to drop back into midfield.

Both sides were well aware that an early mistake could be crucial in what was likely to be a tight contest, and so the game was fairly cagey to start. With our changed shape we were finding it difficult to get our fluent attacking going. Ever so slowly however Keith, Richard and Martin started pressing up from the back and the play moved more and more towards the visitors 25. Diego made a surge from midfield and the defender in front of him slipped to the ground, he dribbled on towards the circle, ... another defender crumpled to the ground 5 yds in front of him for no apparent reason ... alas the final ball was blocked. The pressure started to draw some subtle fouls ... a little push here ... a stick tackle here ... always just around the 25. Keith tried to get some urgency with a couple of give and go's but the TV defence looked well drilled in defending hits from these positions. And guess what happened when K! eith did drill one through just to the side of the post ... that's right nothing ... as nobody had run in to make the deflection.

Martin and Richard were intercepting the ball frequently and launching us back on the attack. Sohail burst down the right wing and decided to cross from the 25 ... one windmill fresh air cross ... then another ... and finally a weak shank off the back line .... top entertainment !!!! [ Sohail - see you at training on Tuesday ... be prepared !!! ]

We were now playing good solid hockey, easing half chances out and offering not a sniff of a chance at our own end. Neil came on for his debut and an early ball from Martin sent him dribbling to the by-line on the right ... a lovely pull-back and Gordon was a whisker away from sweeping it home.

Half-time : 0-0 A popular scoreline last season with the 4's but this year a rarity with the 5's ... in fact the last one was against TV in the 1st game of the season. The essence of the talk was, we are the better side, let's keep it tight at the back, let's move the ball quicker and wider, and let's slip the ball to Gordon on the left on the next shorty.

Our fluency returned at the start of the 2nd period and soon TV were under the cosh. Diego was cutting through them like a knife through butter, but couldn't release Shrek who was being so tightly marked that his marker looked like his Siamese twin. Then we won a short corner. Roly to Sean, stop ... roll , Keith slips it left to Shrek ... he sets it up and crashes it through a defender and keeper into the backboard .... 1-0 !!!!

TV were now forced to open up their play to try and get back into the game but still could not break through. Roly, Sohail and Phil were keeping TV stretched and the next goal was going to be crucial. TV broke into our 25 and worked the ball back to the top of the circle, a powerful shot but Dave not only kept his legs together, but also got good distance and angle on the clearance. Great keeping!

Another attack from TV was broken up and the ball swiftly worked up to halfway ... Frank passed hard to Shrek who cushioned the ball beautifully into Roly's run and a quickfire exchange in the circle saw him by the flick spot ... and he calmly slotted it passed their keeper ... 2-0 !!!! It looks like that old cliche is coming true again ... the best form of defence is attack.

The next 10 mins saw Staines just move the ball around and frustrate the oppo ... to the extent that one wordsmith at the back was given a green. Then disaster struck. TV attacked down the left wing but the route to goal was blocked ... he dragged the ball back and hit a speculative cross towards the back post ... their appeared little danger until Keith "Bigfoot Henderson" plopped his size 20's in front of the ball. Great keeping !!!! Oops he's not in goal this season. The resultant flick was duly despatched in style to leave the game on a knife edge.

TV threw extra players into midfield and we lost our shape a little. Fortunately Keith redeemed his error by taking the ball cleanly off their runners as they threatened. The pressure increased and a flurry of short corners were awarded. The redoubtable defence held firm and made a break for the decisive goal but Neil's dribble was thwarted by a last ditch tackle. One final attack by TV, Sean tracking back stick tackles him as he enters the circle ... another short corner ... and a green card. Frank beats the world land speed record running out on one and blocks it ... and there's no more time left.

Result : 2-1

Man of the match : A close run contest with Richard taking an early lead, before both Roly and Diego edged ahead. The casting vote went Diego's way.
Dick of the Day : An even closer vote with Bigfoot pipping Phil by 10 votes to 1.

A solid workmanlike performance, but a fantastic result. We are now sitting 4 pts clear of TV in 3rd ... and we have a game in hand. With two definitely going up we are in a great position now, and if we win all our games then the league title is ours.

Mens Centurions

Ladies 1st XI

The Ladies Ist XI returned to winning ways in their first league game of the second half of the season. The Xmas excesses were soon forgotten as the team had 90% of the attacking play. Lou Delaney got the first after some deft work from Jo Strudley down the right wing. The Captain, Ruth Hine, led by example with a second before half time. Staines made full use of the pitch, moving the ball from side to side with crisp, accurate passing, and the forwards created lots of space up front. It wasn't long before the tally was taken to 3 as Mel Attfield scored from a shortcorner. Ruth then scored her second with an accurate strike from a shortcorner and Sarah Hamilton was also rewarded for her running off the ball when she slotted home the 5th towards the end. It was an encouraging start in 2003 and good preparation for this weekend's game against joint top of the table Harrow

Sunday 20th January 2003
AEWHA Trophy v Norwich City
Result - Loss - 2-1 (Golden Goal)

Unfortunately the long trip to Norwich ended in disappointment during extra time golden goal. Staines scored within the opening 5 minutes from a superbly struck short corner by Mel Attfield. Despite having most of the attacking play for the first half, and at least 25 short corners, the ball would not cross the goal line. They held on to their narrow lead well into the second half, but tired limbs could not keep up with willing minds and Norwich City made it 1-1 from a short corner. Despite endless short corners and numerous shots on goal at one end and a number of spectacular saves by Maggie Owen in Staines goal, it was not to be Staines day and just before half time in extra time, Norwich slotted in a short corner. It was a disappointing result, but Staines can now concentrate on the league.

Ladies 2nd XI

This was the first league game for Staines since the end of November and the first game back for others in a while. However, this certainly wasn't apparent on the pitch, as the team spirit and determination was still strong on the pitch, even though most of the team were ill and having to take turns on who can blow their nose, nice! Staines applied the pressure onto Sunbury from the start. The first goal came from Helen Fisher, who smashed the ball at the keeper from the edge of the D, but was too hard for the keeper to stop and ended up in the back of the net. The second goal came from Julia Ward, thanks to effort from Jo Ive who lured the keeper from her goal to pull the ball back for Julia to put away no 2. At this point it seemed that the goals might come quickly, but that was it for the day, but a well deserved and satisfactory victory. We take on Hounslow and Ealing at home on Saturday, hopefully all fit and well!!

Ladies 3rd XI

Staines Ladies 3rd x1 played a tough match against top of the league Mill Hill on Saturday. Mill Hill had won each of their previous league games by a large margin. Staines started well having to defend for much of the first 15 minutes. Eventually Mill Hill broke through and scored. Staines continued to battle, coming close to scoring on a number of occasions. Mill Hill scored a second just before half-time. Staines came out more strongly in the second half and won a few penalty corners . We were only stopped from scoring by some excellent goal-keeping. Mill Hill scored a third goal against the run of play. Staines continued to fight on and were rewarded with a brilliant individual goal by Linda McCormack. The final score being Mill Hill 3 Staines 1

Ladies 4th XI