Match Reports For Week 26 Saturday 1st March Season 2002 - 2003

Mens 1st XI

Staines continued their poor run of form against their local rivals Ashford, going down 5 - 3 after a very disappointing first half performance. The game started with Ashford having the best of the opening exchanges and Staines breaking occasionally. But it was Ashford that broke the deadlock with a fantastic finish from a short corner. This was soon followed by another corner strike after Stuart Hall had been sin-binned for a clumsy challenge in midfield. Staines could not seem to find a way out of their own half and Ashford managed to increase their lead to 3 - 0, again from a short corner.

The second half was a better performance by the blue army and soon after the half time break Stuart Hall scored from the top of the circle after a strong run from James Chapman. This stirred Ashford back into life and they again scored from a short corner to regain their 3 goal cushion. Staines rallied from this setback and continued to try to press for goals and from a through ball by Geraint Hughes, Neil Toulson found space in the Ashford circle to shoot in off an Ashford stick. As the game neared the end Ashford again scored to increase their lead from another short corner and take the points. Just before the finish James Chapman scored a penalty stroke to reduce the margin to 5- 3, but it was not to be Staines' day. Staines' poor performance in the first half cost them the game but it was good to see some determined play in the second half against a slightly superior Ashford side.

On a brighter note, Staines went through to the Middlesex Cup Final on Sunday for the 3rd year in a row after demolishing Harrow 10 - 4. A hattrick by Geraint Hughes and James Chapman set Staines up with other goals coming from Ben Brooks (2), Matthew Truman (1) and Stuart Hall (1).

Mens 2nd XI

A good result for Staines this week, as they were looking to improve their run of form after three successive losses and a draw. Milton Keynes were lying 5th in the league with Staines holding onto 3rd with pressure from Maidstone only one point behind.

Pre match talks focused on the need to pass and move the ball, which is where Staines looks a much better team.
The game started very well with excellent pressure on MK, with Staines in control, and soon enough, after a good tackle by Jason on the left who hit the ball up to Matt Truman who had no difficulty in taking it round the keeper in a one-on-one and to put Staines one up. MK began to whinge about decisions, which led to one of their players getting a green card. Straight afterwards Johnny Dodwell smashed the ball across the D from a sideline which Matt Truman tapped in to make it his and Staines’ second. Staines then started to let the play slip. The short passes which were
planned before the game disappeared and MK were getting far more of the ball than they deserved. Staines then conceded a corner, which was well taken by a good flick from MK. The score was 2-1 Staines just before half time.

The second half started, as did the first. Staines intercepted the ball almost immediately from the MK push back and played some of the best hockey of the day as they worked it into the MK D, which Barry finished off to put Staines 3-1 up. Good work from Chris, Anton and Barry in the midfield plus the excellent running of new player Russ put MK under pressure, and shortly, a stroke was won, taken by JD, but was unfortunately saved. Once again, as is all too often with Staines, the play started to slip again which let MK back in the game with their second goal. Staines piled back on the pressure, which gave some more outstanding hockey and Matt Truman’s hat trick. After some good supporting play by the midfield, Truman picked up the ball in the D, twisted and turned his way past his defender to crash the
ball into the MK net. 4-2 Staines. More pressure from Staines, but only in patches, MK still had plenty of space to run the ball. Another stroke was given to Staines after a stick crashing tackle in the D to Matt. Johnny dispatched this one to put Staines 5-1 up. MK kept fighting until the end, which gave them another deserved if not lucky goal. A scrabble in the D led to a MK player attempting a reverse stick strike. Somehow, from 6 yards out he managed to hit the ball
vertical, and lob the 6’4 mass of Harvey in goal. The final word was from Staines, where in the last few minutes Chris Hine intercepted a pass in the D, and with Barry they, managed to one-two the ball the length of the pitch where it was pulled back to Matt Truman unmarked at the top D. The keeper saved the initial shot, but Chris Hine swept off the pads to give his first goal of the season and make the final score 6-3 to Staines.

For some reason, no votes were done this week, so two lots for next week. A big game too, Staines – Woking (top of the table!). But until next week here are some things to think about for the votes.

M of M: Matt Truman’s hat trick, Chris Hine’s first goal, solid defending by Jason again, Harvey with some crucial saves, Russ – excellent running and work rate, a good debut.

D of D: Andy O’s trademark 16’s to their centre forward, Barry’s tantrum in the attacking D- throwing his stick down while the ball was still in play!, or Barry again for his demolition work on an unsuspecting petrol station with his lorry.

Mens 3rd XI

We were slipped another very late starting fixture again this week, but at least it was local and not on the poxy south coast with an 80 mile drive home to look forward to ! So a nice friendly visit to the pleasant environs of Ashford. Even the weather was reasonable a few rain clouds occasionally scudded across like scum on a pond but otherwise conditions were good. Again more staff changes - Uncle Fester unavailable due to a cold knob and an ingress of rust (its true - I only report the facts as they occur). Sponging Student is off injured with an attack of gout, so welcome back Mark Landon for a rare appearance (He is a bit like a Scottish Osprey - not seen very often but usually impressive when spotted in flight). After last weeks debacle our wise old skipper gave us a firm pre-match talking to, with due mention of pride, honour, blue shirts, etc. That said it was time to cry havoc and let slip the Third Battalion.

The whistle blew and the red and blues crashed together like two rugby union packs. An early Ashford attack was deftly snuffed by the Blue bastions who then triggered a lightening riposte as McDunners sent a long ball forward for Mart the Tart to run onto. After an impressive gallop into the Red D, Tart unleashed an unstoppable shot to give Staines a very pleasant advantage. Ashford pressed for an equaliser but were getting nowhere in open play and then a short corner provided them with an opportunity. The first shot was half blocked, there was a bit of a scramble and another attempt squirmed past Rob and somehow the spin on the ball carried it away from the defenders stick on the line - unlucky for us. Despite that, Staines gained the upper hand as far as possession went and managed to force several notable saves from their keeper who had to have been their man of the match by a long margin. Ashford conjured the occasional break but Mr Safety and Chewy Patel had the Red forwards well under wraps. Anything else wearing red fell victim to Pace O'Brien and Father Ted McDunners. This week the midfield linked well, providing good support to the defence and getting forward to assist our increasingly dangerous attacks. Just before the break Staines won our third short corner of the game. Another superb set up resulted in the ball fed wide left to Porno Hudson to strike first time - GOOOOOALLLLLAAAAAAAA!!!

The second half started slowly at first each team looking to force an opening but wary of losing out. After about 10 minutes of general milling around some direction was put on the game as Chubby Jezza slipped a teasing pass through to Mark Landon to open his account with a neat finish. I say direction, but I mean one way traffic, well when I say one way traffic, I mean a total annihilating rout ! Minutes later the Blues won a short corner which again Rowley, Rengger, O'Brien reliably set up. Dean's first shot came back off the keepers pads only for the Tart to flick back in towards goal collecting a wicked deflection off Jezza's stick. Goal given (rightly of course) but Ashford seemed a bit peeved. The Reds spent the rest of the half on the back foot although they managed to conjure a couple of short corners, easily defended, but otherwise the Housewives Favourite remained untroubled, even managing to make himself a marmite sandwich for the first time for a few games. Porno Hudson and Lurch Barnwell continued to work hard in our engine room and Scouse Forrester found that the opposing centre half play maker had a valuable car worth 'twocing' so stuck to him like glue in order to find out where it was parked. Mark soon underlined his impressive performance by getting his second goal assisted by a ball plumbed into the D by the reliable old warhorse Pace O'Brien. Then the coup de grace was exquisitely delivered when Mark chipped the ball through for the Tart to run onto down the wing. The Tart cut into the D wheezing like a burst accordion and with a flourish buried the ball in the bottom corner. A deserving 6-1 result, we deserved to win and they deserved to be thrashed. So it was back to their Clubhouse to eat all their food and make ourselves at home in their lounge. It has to be said that despite the scum on the tiles their showers are much better than ours, perhaps Ashford can recommend a decent plumber to sort ours out.

Hero: Mark, Lurch and Porno each received votes as did the Tart (couldn't give it him though because he is just too modest), but for staying awake (I slipped him a couple of Bob Martins before the game) and a purrfect performance Alpesh Patel is awarded.

Big Girls Knickers: On the playing side there was no obvious candidate. So it was down to a casting vote by the Notcutts sniper, who this week missed Jezza by a country mile, but with a long shot, felled Scouse with the ruthlessness of Prince Phillip on a Pheasant shoot. Scouse is duly awarded for falling over like a big girl.

Mens 4th XI

Mens 5th XI

The watchword for this week was "complacency". Having beaten Woking last week we had to make sure we didn't take any of the remaining games lightly and undo all the good work we have done since Xmas. With Sean and Roly relegated to the 4's after their recent impressive performances we were looking a bit under strength. However, Gordon's knee didn't have the expected reaction to last week's hard game and he pronounced himself match fit. With L'il Phil, Neil and Dieg02 coming back from the 4's and Jim not working after all, we could boast a strong squad.

We quickly launched a wave of attacks on the home defence in our normal blistering start but that vital spark was missing. A bit too much carrying the ball and not enough link-up play meant that our domination was not being rewarded with the goals we needed. Then after a scarmble in the Kenley "D" Dieg02 nipped in to push the ball home as several defenders failed to clear ... so its Deig03 !!!

This seemed to take the pressure off and shortly after Gordon held the ball up at the top of the circle and picked out Martin's run from deep with a beautiful diagonal ball to the back post - where Martin simply deflected it home for 2-0. Simon took a couple of quick hits from just outside the circle and Martin was twice denied by the keeper from clever deflections. Without Sean it was left to Sohail and Dieg03 to run the left side of the pitch ... and it was taking time for the work to gel. Neil came on for Gordon at the midpoint of the half with the game starting to slip away from us a little as Kenley's Mini-Me version of Gordon did some one-handed dribbling of his own to great effect. Buffalo up front was starting to get the ball and they put us under quite a bit of pressure - winning a few short corners. Fortunately the defence held strong during this period, and then we broke away to great effect until a loose final ball seemed to have lost the chance ... however the Kenley defence dallied and Martin chasing a lost cause got enough stick on it to cross for Dieg03 whose reverse stick shot was blocked on the line ... but not by a stick .. flick. Keith rolled up and roofed it violently into the net ... 3-0 !!!!

With half-time approaching we were seriously underperforming ... but then a late flurry saw Diego03 spin at the top of the circle and crash a shot inside the near post (Dieg04 must be catching his namesake now!), and Neil convert neatly to make the score a more respectable 5-0.

Half-Time: Gordon launched into a vitriolic teamtalk only one notch lower than the infamous one at Windsor last year in the 4's. Where has all the committment and passion gone from last week ... it's all a bit laboured. Keith chipped in with "I don't know how you beat Woking playing like this ... come on let's get back to the simple basic ... pass the bloody ball to each other!!!"

At half-time Kenley obviously decided to go all out to score a consolation goal (or more) and threw caution to the wind. They started the half well and drew loads of short corners in quick succession. Frank as always was out of the blocks like a flash and snuffed them all out. The game went from end-to-end ... but when we attacked we often had one, and sometimes two and even three more attackers than they had defenders. Frustratingly we didn't score ... due no doubt to the fact that we carried the ball more than a Rugby player .. and kept getting tackled. Gordon was goal hanging ... if that's what you call it when someone is standing five yards from an empty goal and unmarked and screaming for the ball until their face goes purple. Still - he cannot have been shouting loud enough because time after time he didn't get the ball.

Eventually however we did manage to get the ball to L'il Phil who turned the ball home for 6-0. And then Gordon setup Neil for 7-0. Then we did pass it to Gordon in the circle and his shot was only stopped by a defender on the line ... and once again Keith moved up to take it. A Kenley player told John to watch his feet. We did and the famous superfast footwork resulted in yet another flick powering high into the net. 8-0.

Give Kenley credit however as they kept to their second half plan of attacking us and they won a couple more short corners. However, Frank blocked one, released the ball to the midfield from where it was switched out wide left, back to the top of the circle, and glory be from there to L'il Phil standing on the back post to touch home for 9-0. All in less than 10 seconds .. many thanks to the 1st XI for the example of using defensive short corners as an attacking option !!!

Still Kenley came at us and for all his hard work and effort Buffalo managed to execute a sharp turn and rifle the ball high into the net past Dave's despairing dive in goal. 9-1. Frank took a painful blow on the arm in a committed attempt to block the shot - which at 9-0 shows how much he cares about those clean sheets.

Full-time : Won 9-1

Man of the Match: After a very close vote with nobody getting more than 2 votes it was Frank who got the nod with a show of hands over Gordon.
Dick of the Day: No watch, no maps, no passes Sohail strolled to victory - despite Dieg04's and Neil's attempts at hatrick avoidance.

Despite a lacklustre performance and some brain-dead hockey you have to take some positives from the game - and that is that all 9 goals came from simple hockey played at speed ... and for the other 60 minutes of running with the ball without supporting players we scored nothing and could have let in three or four at the other end. From these simple statistics perhaps we can learn to use Plan A a bit more next week!

Next week we take on the invisible team from Old Reigtaions for the 1st time this season ... and a win will guarantee promotion after Woking beat Thames Valley 1-0 on the weekend.

Mens Centurions

Ladies 1st XI

The new month opened with a tie against top of the table Southgate. With home turf advantage, Staines were looking to grab all 4 points. It was therefore a surpise when they found themselves behind in the first 20 minutes. Both sides had plenty of attacks and Sarah Hamilton came from the bench to net Staines equalizer from a cleverly worked short corner. The second half saw some thrilling hockey that can truly be called "end to end" - 5 goals were scored in a period of 10 minutes. Southgate grabbed their second and Staines replied immediately after Anna Truman took on the Southgate defence and crossed the ball for Christina Lind to slot home. Southgate soon went ahead again only to witness a superbly taken short corner by Mel Atffield negate their lead again. Christina then netted her second of the match with a shot from the edge of the circle to take Staines into the lead for the first time in the match and fortunately there they stayed. This keeps the pressure on Harrow and ensures the league battle will play out until the end of the season.

Ladies 2nd XI

A delayed rainy start to this match for Staines, didn't effect their composure for this crucial match. Old Kingstonian's initially started with 9 and Staines knowing they had to win this game to keep 2nd place in the league took full advantage and applied the pressure to win a short corner early on in the match. Ellie Ward stopped the ball clinically and Sarah Chandler struck the ball well, which the keeper deflected for Helen White to pick up and shoot home to make the score 1 - 0. Staines continued pressure on their opponents won them another short corner and this time the keeper had no chance of saving the awesome strike from Sarah Chandler to make it 2 - 0. Old Kingstonians, then at full strength looked dangerous on attack but some great defensive work from Staines thwarted any of their chances. During the 2nd half, Staines continued their attacks and were soon rewarded with a 3rd after some superb teamwork. A loose ball was picked out of defence by Juliet Porter, who passed the ball to Sarah Chandler, who skilfully beat 2 players to sweep the ball to Jo Ive who clipped it past the keeper for Julia Ward to bang home. Staines kept going until the very end and were awarded a penalty corner on the last whistle of the game. To finish off the game nicely, Sarah Chandler once again struck the ball home to make the final score 4 - 0.

Ladies 3rd XI

Staines 3rd XI worked hard and were unlucky not to win this match after hitting the post on a couple of occassions, however, they managed to stop Hayes scoring and resulted in a no score draw, but it was enough to put them above Hayes in the league.

Ladies 4th XI

The score line says it all really! A start of match break down in communication from Staines defenders allowed Amersham to go 1-0 up in the first ten minutes, but we fought back to level the score and go 2-1 up by half time thanks to goals from Jude and Sophie.

The second half was all action from Staines, with Julie scoring in the first couple of minutes and Alison (player of the match) scoring a minute into the restart. 4-1 to Staines. We'd really started to play by then and the Amersham defence worked flat out to keep out the constant threats on goal from Staines forwards and midfield. Amersham kept trying to come back but we were on top form and in the last twenty minutes all the play was in the Amersham half. Even the Staines defenders had pushed up to join in the action. It was raining really heavily by then, and after two more goals from Jude, and another from Julie, Amersham were no doubt really glad of the final whistle.

A great result for us after a disappointing run since Christmas of cancellations etc, what can I say - well done girls. We were brilliant and despite the rain it was a bloody good laugh!