Match Reports For Saturday 15th November Season 2003 - 2004

Mens 1st XI

A hard game for Staines this week, battling against the odds to come out on top, despite being reduced to ten men for most of the game. Three goals were also disallowed and for ten minutes they were reduced to nine men. Staines started comfortably with a few positional changes this week, due to injuries, not hampering the style of play. It was not long before a penalty corner was won and Mark Hampton's finish was disallowed due to an infringement. This spurred Henley on and they managed a number of attempts at goal which were well defended and marshalled by Mike Farmer, Adam Hart and John Stannard. Staines applied pressure to the Henley backline and another penalty corner was scored and disallowed again when Chapman's strike whistled in just above the backboard. Soon after Staines were reduced to ten men for the rest of the game and appeared to be in for a tough time.

However, soon after this Staines took the lead. A quick break from midfield by Geraint Hughes set up Tim Griggs, who drew the goalkeeper and placed his shot inside the near post. Henley began to get more into the game due to their man advantage but couldn't make it count and a couple of good stops by Neil Hallsworth meant at half time Staines led 1 - 0.

The second half started with Staines being put under pressure by the Henley attack and this was compounded thanks to a "tired" tackle from Hughes who received ten minutes in the sin bin. This did not dishearten Staines and
tremendous effort was put in to retain their lead. Superb defensive work by James Hall and skipper Stuart Hall meant Staines continued to hold on and as Hughes prepared to re-enter the fray, Barry Thomas broke and with some wonderful running, carved open the Henley defence before being dragged down by the goalie. The resultant penalty stroke was duly converted by the hard working James Chapman. Back to ten players Staines held on with some strong
defending and Neil Toulson doing well to hold the ball up in the Henley half. However with five minutes to go Staines let in a penalty corner and Henley were back in it. But Staines held on for a very good win that sees them move into second place in the table behind Ashford who they take on this coming Saturday!!

Mens 2nd XI

This week Sniffer Watson took his entourage to Weybridge to play Old Georgians. But true to form something or rather someone was missing. After last week's match report Mr Truman got the right hump and fired off a 4-page e-mail at me so it was interesting to listen to his and Robbie's explanation as to why Matt wouldn't be playing. Half way round the M25 and realising that Matt didn't have a game and Robbie hadn't made any contact with him it slowly dawned on Robbie's creased furrow that we were down to a bare eleven. Not content with that, Andre was not able to travel with us either. Much frantic organisation in transit and Matt duly arrived with an Oxfam donated kit awaiting him.
Selection was tough this week and a new look team emerged. Dougie was sweeper, Liam Greene back from filling petrol tanks was centreback, Ben Cohen and the Ginger Ninja formed the rest of the defensive unit. The usual suspects formed the midfield comprising of Shagger Hine, Jason Wildebeest, sponging student and the man mountain himself JD. While up front Sniffer Watson, Danny (the lynx effect) and Matt Truman would be banging in the goals.
Upon arrival we watched the girls play a version of Twister on the netball pitch. Dougie just couldn't drag himself away. 'Warm' up was conducted in our new training tops with Gary's pornstar warm up routine.

The match started and we were playing uphill Old Georgians pushed us deep so working the ball round the back from Dougie to Liam meant that Liam had to be on the baseline to receive it. One or two over the top tackles came in from Old Georgians that the umpires failed to respond to and as such set the tone for the rest of the match. Danny got himself a green card within the first ten minutes. Their sweeper felled Matt through on goal at the top of the D and Staines were awarded a short corner that we were unable to convert. Robbie looped another shot marginally over the top bar. Staines conceded their first short corner courtesy of Sponging Students tackling. Luckily we had observed Old Georgians short corner routine and charged down their drag flicks that they were flicking into our legs so Staines defended a succession of 4 short corners on the trot. JD unhappy with the pitch, the play and the umpires took it on himself to tackle everything near him, which unfortunately resulted in him gaining a green card too. The match became a full-bloodied affair after Liam holding the ball on the baseline was taken out by their centreforward for which he went unpunished. The score remained nil all at half time.
Downhill in the second half and so to went the discipline. Robbie and his opposite number were called over in the second half and asked the umpires to control the game more fully. Silly little tackles were being blown up but over the top tackling seemed to be missed. Old Georgians were busy crying 'timber' and falling over whenever a Staines tackle was put in. They were then awarded a short corner with which the same resultant pattern in the first half saw them flicking the ball into the runners' legs.
Some over zealous commitment in tackling from shagger Hine and Sponging Student didn't help matters as one particularly fierce chop by Chris on their inside left player (on the baseline) saw Dougie explode and the Salmon rage with steam coming out of his ears. Why? Because there were three other defenders lined up behind Chris ready to stop him. The umpire interceded and asked the Salmon to calm down and quite how this arguing with team mates was missed at fines session I will never know. However, the resultant short corner was dispatched by the oppo into the far post and we found ourselves one nil down.
Sniffer began subbing players and came on as sweeper and pushed Liam into midfield as Staines fought hard to keep the score line down and produce an equaliser. Robbie in the middle of the pitch passed to Gary at left back but Gary's next pass was intercepted by their right wing and Old Georgians put another past us. Gary, sickened, could scarcely believe it. In the dying minutes Matt top of the D fired a shot that came off the Keeper's helmet. Our last short corner routine unfortunately rolled under Ben's stick and we couldn't capitalise on it. Staines were unlucky to lose as their keeper pulled off three blinding saves and one or two of our other efforts flashed just wide of the post.

Man of the match and dick of the day was a closely fought contest. Sniffer Watson, Matt, the Ginger Ninja and Dougie were all serious contenders for dick of the day. Dougie leading the charge for smacking the ball up the line when on the very last vote Gary edged it for giving the ball away which lead to their second goal. It didn't end there as in recognition of his intelligent play Gary also took man of the match. Out came the Steiner and the rest is history.

Some serious fines were payable this week with Watson leading the way for general not paying attention at fines, abuse of special fines, talking out of turn, throwing in blank votes to confuse the voting process, talking to people outside of the voting circle, upsetting Clive and not informing Matt that he was playing, although Matt was equally to blame.

Next week Ashford at home. Double fines time!

Mens 3rd XI

Lovely weather for the time of year as the Third Battalion took the field against the high flying PWs. Being on before the 1's this week enabled our fantastic come back performance to inspire them to a win against enormous odds. However Stuka will have to carpenter a longer Subs bench if so many of them are going to spend time off the pitch all at once! I don't know what the authorities have been chucking in the water supply, but this week there were suddenly 16 players from which to choose a third eleven. After a bit of 'one potato, two potato...', it was eventually decided to lend Sohail and Kingsley to the 4's and Rod decided he had some painting to do. New players this week were Midfield maestro - Kit, the bri-nylon 70's throw back - Clive Bolton and endeavouring to avoid yet more fines from JD - Scouse Forrester.

With Bolters, Jerry, Lurch and Mr Safety in the back line Staines had a formidable defence. The midfield looked pretty useful with Scouse supported by Dan and Kit. This allowed Chewy Patel to play his favourite wing forward role which had him purring in anticipation. The opening few minutes were evenly matched as each team settled down and probed each other looking for openings. After the initial fore-play Staines decided to get down to business, Alpo and Olly having a couple of early stabs at goal. Then somehow a p-flick was awarded to Staines as Pathfinder Quinlan was on the point of scoring by extricating the ball from the region of the keepers shiny helmet. Mik looked keen to take the flick but unfortunately snagged his stick on the rug and the feeble shot was easily saved (mental note: must remember to ensure Big Jim Tobin is on the pitch first, before we win a flick in future.). By now Staines had most of the possession and spent long periods fumbling around PW's nether regions but could not quite find the back of the net. Then one silly error allowed PW's to counter attack catching our defence with its trousers down. The PW centre forward managed to evade his marker, Royston charged out of his goal like a wounded Rhino, almost cleared the ball only to see the second attempt redirect the ball into the net - bugger! The rest of the half was virtually all Staines, clearly being on top and thrusting away vigorously but still not getting rewarded with the ultimate prize.

Second half, more of the same - like a spotty adolescent encountering a Playtex 34B for the first time, fumbling ineffectively at the catch, Staines just could not seem to get the knack of finishing off an attack by getting a goal. Then Lurch had a disastrous rush of blood to the head in his eagerness to initiate another attack. He plumbed a free 16 hit direct to the PW centre forward. "Thank you very much" he said, slightly surprised, before charging our goal and making a clean finish. 0-2 down was not what was planned. Still the blue army pressed forward but almost went three down when PW's caught us on the break. Roy was out to the edge of his D in a flash blocking the first shot, a second shot was fortunately blocked by Mr Safety running in behind the keeper. With perhaps 10 minutes remaining Jerry Gardian found the knack, with an almighty twang the PW's dogged defence became unfettered with Mik getting the necessary touch on Jerry's cannonball into the D. More relentless pressure eventually forced another short corner for Staines. This time Big Jim delivered a superb flick into the net bringing us to 2-2. After a few more minutes of grunting and heaving it was all over. The result an honourable if slightly disappointing draw.

Hero: After another good all round effort the votes were fairly spread between Mr Safety, Kit, Big Jim and Jerry. But for his purrfect performance on the wing Alpesh was the clear winner.

Old Woman: Normally a missed flick is guaranteed to win you this award. Despite an otherwise good performance, but...gifting the second goal and almost helping them to a third, saw Lurch enshrined as this weeks pink gown wearer.

Mens 4th XI

Saturday. Early afternoon. We met in a gravelly car park in Staines and watched the not so Chubby Jezza eat the worlds largest sandwich with all the finesse and speed of a Stork dispatching a frog. It was a grey, wintery day and the smashing drive up to Leighton Buzzard included such classics as "Are we nearly there yet?" and "Daddy, I want another Guinea Pig". Mental note for next away game, always try to sit in a car without children in it.
Due to a boat load of Hockey playing refugees arriving at Staines, all teams were brimming with extra talent this week. Our spillage from the 3's was Kingsley and Sohail. Our cup truly overfloweth.... but as Old Man McDunners had to go for his flu jabs, our planned 13 man team was cut down by 1. Having 12 this week was a real rarity for us and it nearly put paid to our glorious march towards the top of the table, but more of that later. The game started in fine fashion, with everybody alert and on form, for us to really push the LB team into their own half, it was looking easy for the Blues and Leighton Buzzard were hardly seen in our 25, when they were, they were sent packing again by Gnasher, Reedy, Captain Mucus, and the Shermanator. Midfield distributed nicely and the front row were enjoying a nice short break in the LB 25. Goals aplenty this week and goal number one was when Gloria tracked down the left, all the way to the back line, before passing to his brother, who made short work of what little resistance the defence and goalie could offer, the second was another Monkey goal, this time converting a Porno Hudson bobbler into the bottom corner of the net. Number three was a ball worked from defence, a string of well worked passes, finding Forest, who became a blur down the right hand wing, linked up with the Tart who, sensing that empty Jug lurking behind the Leighton Buzzard bar, passed left to the Chubster who opened his account with a safe push into the back of the net. All was smiles, all was well until our snot ridden centre back took his 15 minutes off to roll the substitute on and into his position. What happened next was a spectacle to say the least as our previously organised and polished back line was thrown into disarray, as all of a sudden Leighton Buzzard players leaked through the gaps to score 2 goals, one from a break and the other from a well worked short corner routine. Half time whistles have rarely been greeted with as much relief.

The half time break saw lots of shouting and pointing at each other, but it was constructive and with the finger placed firmly back in the defensive dyke, the second half saw 100% Staines pressure and no marking mishaps-haps. More pressure in the shape of a short, which Gloria, who wisely has kept his game on the floor after last weeks little fruit based accident, spanked the ball into the corner of the goal for number 4. The 5th was another short corner routine that saw Sohail force a save from the keeper but only as far as the Chubster who waved past him into the net. Our 6th? Nothing special really this time, a bread and butter sort of goal that even I could have scored. OK, OK, the last thing I need is for Chubby to take over writing these reports, because all you will get is links to http://www.subway.com/, http://www.mcdonalds.com/ and so on and so forth. OK, number 6 was a little bit special, Forrest reaching warp factor 9 down the right, drawing the defence towards him as he went. He then laid off the ball into the path of Jezza who roofed the ball from the edge of the D past the startled goal keeper. A small cheer was heard from Jeremy's lower intestine as his growing tapeworm family looked forward to another slap up hat-trick meal at McBurgerHut.

A really fine performance from the Blues apart from a 15 minute Keystone Cop-esque lull. OK, so Leighton Buzzard are not the strongest side in the league, but it proved that even when things were breaking down, we could actually fix them with a bit of shouting and physical violence.
Gnashers legs had a week off from being re-shaped with only one bruise under his belt (so to speak), and Mr Hudson, ahhhh Mister Hudson. He got all fruity with the LB right wing (all 14 years of him) with a spell of very "man to man" marking.
Rumour has it you know, that the LB right winger went missing after the game, and it was only when the Police were called to Hudson's flat on the Sunday to investigate a squealing noise that they found the poor boy in a corner of Richards bedroom, rouged and scented...........

MOM The 3 goal, comfort eating, jug buying maestro Jezza.

DOD The over confident, wrong way driving, jug avoiding Mart the Tart.

Mens 5th XI

Chris's barmy army marches on, this time it was going to be a hard game. Top of the league Staines v third in the league Wanderers.

How Chris's fortunes change, from going to a game with only 10 players and no umpire, to a game with 14 players and an umpire.

Mickey taking started at the beginning of the day, Hobo returned from injury to provide pre-match entertainment. Hobo making his return instructed Keith he was making his match fees payable to Woking Hockey Club. (Keith hit the roof)
Chris and Richard continued, by accusing Hobo of giving the game plan away against Reigate Priory, by asking Richard in the Priory changing room, "have you ever played in goal before". DOH!!! We then waited half an hour after the meet time for little Phil and big Phil to show.

Keith put a rotation plan in place to give everyone a game. Hobo decided his legs were still knackered from 2 weeks ago and wanted to play only the second half. The first half got underway, Wanderers were putting attack, after attack down the right wing, through the number 45, (which little Phil was supposed to be marking). Neil and Keith were deciding whether little Phil was on rohipnal or just pissed from Friday night, we decided he was on rohipnal, as no one would serve him, which would leave him to drink the spiked drinks.

Keith was getting upset at every thing and was giving Neil an earful. "Look Neil no width" "yes Keith" said Neil, "look Neil no right wing" "yes Keith" said Neil, "look Neil no passing" "yes Keith" said Neil, "what's Sid doing, no right wing", "yes Keith" said Neil, "what's Richard and Andrew doing, we have 12 players on the bloody pitch " "yes Keith" said Neil and finally "what the f--k is little Phil doing", "yes Keith" said Neil.

Keith then asked Neil, were do you want to play, "in the hole behind the centre forward or centre forward, but not left wing" said Neil. Keith replied "Ok, well play with two forwards and Neil you go on the left wing deep in midfield". ("k" said Neil).

Meanwhile pitchside Richard and Andy were causing problems, as there sub swaps would not come off eventually they did but it was a nice try to gain advantage. Wanderers attacks on the disorganised Staines paid off little Phil lost his maker again and the opposition winger flew down the wing to set up the first goal for a 1-0 lead. Keith then made some more team changes and Staines equalised through Sid before half-time for 1-1.

Half time came and little Phil was replaced by a sober Brendon for a man to man marking job on the Wanderers winger No. 45. On came Hobo to add to the left wing attack and Sid went into midfield. The changes made at half time were done well. Staines had attack, after attack. Neil, Keith and big Phil linked well and eventually the deadlock was broken by Hobo. Keith put the ball to big Phil, who set it up for Hobo to finish. But Hobo had an illegal stick challenge on him, which prevented him form scoring, poor Hobo. A flick was awarded and up stepped (Keith) Yoda the old hockey master. The force was with him and he put the flick in the top corner for a 2-1 lead.

Brendon did a great job at keeping the wanderers No.45 quiet and Jim, (Frank) Brave heart, Richard and Andy kept the defence tight. Staines had a couple of attacks after that and Chris, Neil, big Phil, Keith and Sid may have made it more, but it was Wanderers who had the final word and came back strong in the last ten minutes to make it 2-2.

Afterwards everyone went back to the club, while Neil, Simon, Jim and Andy had a nice chilli and beer with the Wanderers (top lads). Overall a game played in a good manner and a fair result. Staines need to get the goal rush back and defence on track as things are getting tougher at the top.

Man of match: Richard

Dick of the day: Little Phil (being on rohipnal) and the green card didn't help

Mens 6th XI

A top of the table clash with both teams level on points and the winner guaranteed to pull three points clear. We were lying second as OMT's have had their goal difference boosted by two 5-0 walkovers.

As this week's game contained lots of cross words ... here are a few clues for a crossword ...

Across
1. A very fast spotted cat (7)

Down
12. Sounds like 1 Across and 59. (7)
59. A possible abbreviation for the radiator system that keeps your house warm (1-7)

Now - no peeking - don't try and look at the answers at the bottom of the match report before you've had a go, and yes that applies to you Number 59 !!!

Benefitting from the good availabilty this week we could even take a morning withdrawal, a no show, and Gordon's absence through injury and still have a 12th man - it will never last ! Unfortunately the opposition also had 12 players but no umpire, a fact that didn't seem to be affected by one of them changing his top and carrying around a whistle.

From the first to the last minute this was an action packed game. It was easy to see why OMT's had a 100% record this season as they passed the ball neatly and had two or three very energetic players in the midfield and attack. The good news was that our defence held strong and they didn't really generate any real pressure on Andy in goal. Then a powerful cross from the right wing towards the p-spot appeared to be too far in front of the OMT striker for him to reach and in any case Andy was in a strong covering position. Amazingly number 59 dived full-length and blatantly back-sticked the ball past Andy into the goal. As we readied ourself for the 16 thinking he was having a laugh it dawned on us that he was running back celebrating. Despite all the appeals of our players and spectators it appears that only the two umpires and the whole OMT team managed to miss the travesty. When queried about his honesty all that number 59 could say was " ... what your problem he's your umpire ...". Correct me if I'm wrong but I always thought both umpires were supposed to be impartial !!! So 1-0 down, rather than 0-0 and the oppo a man down with a yellow card.

Unsurprisingly we were not happy and with a surge of passion we turned the game round and started pushing the visitors back into their half. Martin and Matty for tackling the proverbial out of all their strikers and releasing Andre and Danny through the midfield. Kishan is only young but is improving his positioning with each game and was only inches away from converting an equaliser at the back post. Gloriously it was no surprise when a good move down the left saw the ball worked into Jack G who swept the ball confidently home for the equaliser. 1-1. Matty and Martin were
snuffling out their attackers and wry grins spread across their faces when OMT subbed off their non-goal scorer.

Half-time : 1-1

What a fantastic performance, the next 10-15 mins are critical. If we can keep up this pressure and tempo then we can overcome their unsportsmanlike behaviour and get the win.

A great start to the second half saw us pressing the visitors more and more back into their own half, and a second goal looked imminent. We even managed to get some short corners having not been awarded any by their umpire in the 1st half. Then OMT attacked but we broke up the play and some great work down the left side saw Danny release Jack G into acres of space on the wing - and with free men running into the D. What a time for the Notcutts sniper to strike down Jack with a shot to his upper hamstring. Ouch !!! [ The trip to A&E saw a diagnosis of a bad tear/pull rather than the snapped hamstring that we feared]. Unfortunately the delay gave time to the visitors to regroup and they came back at us with some surging runs through the centre. Twice in a few minutes no 59 had one on ones with Matty and tried to lay the ball past his reverse stick side, but no dice mate as Matty took the ball cleanly both times, only for the attacker to run straight into Matty (even managing to knock him over once !!!). Yes, you guessed it their umpire gave OMT's the hit on both occasions !!! Is it time we followed the Ladies leagues and enforced a Level 1 umpiring qualification? Then with 15 mins to go OMT subbed off no 59 again - but unfortunately with a game changing effect. A few minutes later we failed to pick up a midfield runner and he beat a couple of players before shooting an inch inside the near post. Rats 1-2.

Worse was to follow when a bit of football and obstruction by the OMT forwards went unpunished and under pressure the defence could only clear to the 25 from where the ball was drilled back in for our friend no 59 to score his first real goal of the game 1-3.

A couple of flurries almost got us a second but with Kishan tiring, Ada struggling with his hamstring and Jack in the hospital we were lacking the necessary punch to score. One more counter-attack from the visitors in the dying minutes saw another dubious goal awarded when their forward either threw or let go his stick as he shot - the ball going under Andy as the stick went pass his head with the ball going inside the post and the stick going wide.

Full-Time : Lost 1-4

Tiger : Jack Nowicki for his best game to date
Donkey: No doubt about it .... Number 59 OMT ... say no more.

A great game to play in with passion, excitement and lots of thrills. Some of our best hockey of the season was played but unfortunately we just ran out of steam in the last 15 minutes as we tried to make amends for the goal that never was, and our unfortunate injury crisis.

Answers to crossword ...

Across
1 - Cheetah

Down
12 - Ch***er
59 - C-h***ing

Mens Centurions

Ladies 1st XI

The Staines saga continued this week with a match against third place Mill Hill. The dark and stifling atmosphere that pervaded the last home game was nowhere to be found as the sun shone brightly for our push back at dawn (student time) or 10.15 to the rest of the country's population. With a few absences the Staines ladies recruited the talents of Lou Delaney and Sarah Chandler to complete the forward line and Claire Woods to make up the defence fees are still in negotiation.

The game began with a mix up on our behalf as it was very difficult to distinguish exactly who we were playing against - A male side? A gathering of the Staines tramp community? Or perhaps, just perhaps, a female hockey side? On solving the mystery that it was to our surprise the latter, and they simply had rebelliously against league rules opted for the less feminine and less beautiful shorts in contrast to our height-of-fashion skirts, the game could really begin.

Staines were strong from the start and outwitted and out-played those short wearing Mill Hillians. Shay O'Connell could only watch in silence as the tears of joy and pride brimmed over his eyes when wife Sue slotted the first goal with her very deceiving pass-like push goalwards that professionally duped the Mill Hill keeper and also incidentally her fellow team mates. There followed a pause, in fact, the game was stopped as the umpires deliberated on the possibility of the goal actually being within the rules...but there was nothing they could do...no legal infringement that they could think up...so the revolution began...Sue O'Connell was on the score sheet. Staines, in spite of the shock, continued to play brilliantly with the solid defensive trio dominating our defensive half and some great goal keeping saves from Maggie Twinkle Toes Owen who luckily had remembered to put on her astros as opposed to her dancing shoes. The midfield quartet were also unstoppable as they utilised the available space with some great passing moves and distributed and recycled (John would be proud!) a number of great balls to the forwards, who were simply awe-inspiring with their instinctive runs on and off the ball. The committed Ruth Hine then, having risen from her death bed, ended the O'Connell goal frenzy for the time being when she took the goal tally to two and demonstrated to her hockey comrades, with her fantastic dodging play and sharp shooting, exactly how to make a goalkeeper look stupid. The half time whistle provided the opportunity for us to think on her example....

And what thought must have taken place for Staines simply got stronger and stronger. Anna Truman received a fantastic ball from someone great and broke the Mill Hill defence to score a storming goal that must be attributed to Shay and David's advice to, I quote, 'just hit the thing'. Sue O'Connell, yes, Sue O'Connell reached level two in the bar chart with the completing strike of a well distributed and worked penalty corner that had those short wearers baffled and wishing they'd worn some skirts. But the O'Connell goal fest couldn't be allowed to continue and the team willed Anna Truman on to her second that brought the score to 5-0. But then it happened....the Kate McClean pass....

Well it does sadly fall to me to alert you to the institutionalisation of our captain Kate McClean. It unfortunately has been confirmed that she is suffering from delusional visions. She was spotted passing to her 'friend' during the game on Saturday and afterwards caught chanting Irish shanty songs and playing drinking games with her back at the bar, causing a lot of mess as she poured the fifth pint down her 'friend's' mouth. It's a sad day but Kate, if you have access to a computer in the hospital, we're all thinking of you and sending all our sane thoughts and wishes to aid your recovery. May you return to us, and this world, soon.

Well back to the game and Mill Hill were crying to go home by now but Staines, being ruthless and hating odd numbers, had to really finish them off and send them packing with their tails between their shorted legs so Lou, the voted Man of the Match, kindly took up the challenge and thumped the sixth goal home. All was over and there was celebration throughout the country, particularly in the skirted communities.

To end on a message to the Henley Men's team.....the only parallel between us and a netball team is that we beat our opposition by a netball score...you on the other hand lost.

Ladies 2nd XI

After last Saturday's win, Staines were hungry for more league points and goals. A last minute call up for Lou Delaney meant a slightly revised line-up this week, but Staines were un-fazed by this. Hels Fisher took us for our now regular and rigorous warm up, she works us hard, gets us motivated and leaves us in no doubt as to what's expected of us once the game starts (we are all secretly relieved however that we aren't in her class at school for PE).

This week's line-up saw the welcome return of Eryl Penney as sweeper, fresh from two weeks in Florida. Oli Flint was also back but in the unusual position of right wing rather than defending centre-midfield…….something to do with a fractured big toe……poor excuse when she's got 9 others in full working order!

From the whistle Staines took the game to Hendon, but whether it was down to nerves or the slightly revised line-up, we didn't gel initially quite as well as the previous week. However, we soon settled down, and took the lead with a good goal from Oli Flint, clearly that fractured toe wasn't a hindrance in front of the goal despite all that hobbling!

Staines applied all the pressure, but the goals just wouldn't happen and one break from Hendon meant it was 1-1 at half time.

Captain Juliet gave us a firm but fair half time talk, and welcome input from Mel Attfield saw a far more forceful Staines side take the field for the second half.

From the off Staines made it clear that they wanted to win, and within the first few minutes, a well worked move down the right saw Debbie Hampton racing into the D with a fantastic strike into the goal, 2-1 Staines.

Continued pressure from Staines resulted in several short corners one of which we finally managed to convert. Hels White pushed out, Ali stopped cleanly, and Eryl fired it into the back of the goal, the Hendon keeper didn't stand a chance…….clearly that 2 weeks in the sun has done wonders for Eryl's target practise! 3-1 Staines

Not to be undaunted by pressure from Staines, Hendon didn't give up. They continued to test the Staines defence but they hadn't reckoned with Caz, Eryl, Yvonne and Anya who as always remained calm and solid at the back.

Mindful of the fact that Juliet said we needed to increase our goal difference in the league, in the dying minutes, a cross from Debbie into the D was cut out by Hendon, rebounded to Ali who slipped it to Lizzy Hamilton who turned and put the ball into the net to earn Staines another well deserved goal.

Final result 4-1 to Staines.

Man of the Match - Lizzy Hamilton for her continued 'terrier' like hassling of the Hendon defence.

Thanks to everyone who supported us and Mel for her valuable advice at half-time. A special mention must go to Oli, who played the full game despite her fractured toe.

Next week sees us take on Hampstead & Westminster in the league, smack bang in the middle of the Rugby final….what's that all about???

Ladies 3rd XI

After last weeks disappointing performance changes had to be made for this weeks game, mainly effort, attitude and team work. We had Duncan back to coach us at training and I'm glad to say everyone worked really hard. Duncan gave us his view on last week game with some justified stern words. After training we had positional play and movements explained to us in the bar on top of the pool table!

On Saturday we all arrived earlier than the usual 30 minutes before the game and were directed into the changing room by Colin (umpire, many thanks) on instructions from the Captain. Burkie gave out hand made hockey manual for short/long corner routines and the press. Kath asked for these to be laminated for next weeks game to wear on back of shirts for easy reference. All routines explained along with an encouraging and motivational team talk from Burkie. One lap round pitch tried to push for 2nd lap but had some resistance. Wendy took the lead with warming up and then Jeanette encouraged team to compete with Helen Fisher rigorous warm up.

Staines had a very good start to the match with the majority of play in the Chiswick half and winning quite a few short corners. We were unable to convert even though we had 3 worked out from the manual. Chiswick did have a strong defence and they managed push the ball up field and score on the break. Staines did not give up this time and worked hard for each other using the recommended 5 yard passes. Lou at centre back, had a great game, supporting midfield and being pivot to switch play around and duly voted man of match. Two players back from injury, Burkie had been missed for her skills and experience but also for her vocal skills and Kate had been missed for her great crosses into D from the right.

Unlucky to be one nil down at half time. Second half, just as encouraging, play being distributed across whole pitch, showing good team work and confidence in each other. Right at the death, Staines won short corner, pushed out by Kate for Claire to strike, deflected by keeper, Ingrid scored from an acute angle on the right. A well deserved goal.

All in all, great play by everyone, more of a team game and huge improvement on last week. Unlucky to end in draw but everyone came away with a more positive feeling, so who knows next week, we could win.

Ladies 4th XI

M.O.M Vikkie

The match got off to a good start with Staines attacking with great strength !! Tanya scored our first goal early on and we were on over the MOON ... our girls in defence were keeping the opposition at stick length whilst our captain Ali went for a woooopeeeeeee ..... ouch ..... onto the astro. Holly played very well down the wing and Emma was
great in defence, Vikkie scored our second goal with a dive into the left corner (she likes diving!!) but unfortunately they came back at us in the second half.