Match Reports For Saturday 10th January Season 2003 - 2004

Mens 1st XI

Mens 2nd XI

Mens 3rd XI

Mens 4th XI

Mens 5th XI

I will start with the Christmas curry night and a good time was had by all, thanks to Chris. The turn out was good with Martin, Brave Heart, Big Phil, Gordon the Gofer, Samurai, Hobo and Terminator, (Now Flash) making an appearance. The curry was good, Brave Heart told Road Runner how to use his instinct to run a team, and Hobo and Flash took much banter.

The party moved on to the dance bar, where Flash tried his new chat up line on Sharon and Wendy and introduced himself as Dave. Hobo was sent on a mission to get telephone numbers, were he stopped off for a while. Big Phil and Brave Heart then talked to some locals and then a fight started. The drinking ship was abandon. (The End)

Back to the game Staines prepared to restart the challenge for the league and to get rid of those Christmas pounds. Staines faced Sunbury who they beat 4-0 easily, earlier on in the season and were looking to grab the points. Ronald Dino was looking to got out with bang, as he prepared for his last game with the team.

The master and the apprentice organised the team, and Road Runner assembled the 13 man squad into rotation rolls. Michael Cane then gave his usual team talk "Right lads were he today, to win the bloody game and run off those Christmas puddings".

Road Runner then informed Terminator (Now Flash) that he would be required to perform a new role in midfield. Flash looked worried, but was assured by Road Runner that he was only moving players up the pitch, as spring cleaning, (will Richard make the new Flash Centre Forward ?).

The game got off to a pacy start and Staines played some quality hockey with incisive passing from defence to forwards to take an early lead. Brendon put Staines into a 1-0 the lead finishing off a clinical passing move,, the (Mad Mexican) Andre then put Staines 2-0 up, with some silky and pacy midfield play. The Mad Mexican then grabbed a second, finishing of another sweeping Staines passing move to make it 3-0.

The game then took a lull and Staines went into the individual mode (take them all on mode) and Falsh Peter Panned in midfield. The wake up call then came, as Sunbury broke on the counter to score for 3-1. Road Runner was hatching a plan and sent for Hobo. Hobo Staggered into the midfield position, guided by the ever aware Major Charles Ingrum and Brave Heart. Hobo got the engine started again and linked up with Michael Cane for another sweeping move up to Brendon for Second to make it 4-0.

The game then stayed at an even balance as the half time whistle was blown. Michael Cane gave the usual half time talk "look lads I told you to blow the bloody doors off" "What's the matter with you lot can't you think, I have to tell you where to play". Road Runner then smothered the mutiny and prepared the team for the second half.

The Second half got under way the same as the first, Staines started well and Major Charles Ingrum banged the ball home for 5-0. Ronald Dino Tried and Tried to get to the net. Ronald Dino's time came when he scored a spectacular goal at the wrong end to try and assist Sunbury, which was disallowed.

Ronald Dino did then get himself to the right end, to cross the ball into the 'D' for Hobo to finish and end Hobo's No 67 curse, for 6-1. Brendon then had open surgery, as he used his trusty Knee to play the ball, but unfortunately this did no work and Brendon now has 3 Knee caps (one for luck).

Substitutions were made and the game then peated out and both teams looked like Christmas was showing through, as there was no further score and the game finished 6-1 to Staines.

Road Runner, went to get healthy team tea, yes chips and bread (feeds 5,000). The team banter then started as Road Runner decided on open voting. Brave Heart and School boy Phil had a tiff, but the best was saved to last. The Terminator showed his tarty side declaring his goods in the South and North, as two is always better than one, as Sharon and Wendy joined the team.

Terminator was now terminated and a host of nick names has come to light; Peter Pan, The Scarlet Pinpanel, Pretty Woman, but I thin Mr Flash wins. (yes Flash that poncy ladies man from Blackadder, Flash by nature, Flash by name).

To summarise the game Sunbury should take credit that they had improved alot from the previous encounter. Staines must now focus on points and wins to start the league challenge.

Our best wishes to Ronald Dino Wareham and our thanks for his contribution, to Road Runners barmmy army.

Are the Kings on the Return !

Final Score: Staines 6 Sunbury 1
Scorers: Mad Mexican 2, Bone Collector Brendon 2, Major Charles Ingrum 1 and Hobo 1
Man of Match: Mad Mexican for being mad
Dick of Day: Ronald Dino for: not scoring in the right net, not playing the hole season and having his last game

Mens 6th XI

Mens Centurions

Ladies 1st XI

It was the battle of 1969 on Saturday when two old school team mates faced each other in hockey combat. Our very own Audrey / Alf / Nana Moon or Ruth, as she’s sometimes referred to as, represented Staines in the dual against Roz Wycombe’s up front runner. Both players took their positions and kept up the pretence of friendliness as each secretly wished their respective teams to totally annihilate the other.

Consequently the pressure on Staines was massive as the pre-league friendly became a contest of 1969 pride and stamina. But we did not disappoint our distinguished team mate as, on her advice, we passed the ball around, generously helping Wycombe in their pursuit of fitness and even, at times, provided some saving practice for their keeper. Unfortunately having raided the local hospital to drag the majority of our team to the game fitness was not at its best in the Staines camp but bronchitis Nic and Fluey Mellie easily outplayed the Christmas lumps…..no names come to mind right now except mine and as author and editor I will opt to conveniently exclude it!

Staines did however eventually prove too greater an opponent for Wycombe as slowly but surely the score sheet grew with Baldie leading the way, followed by a cracking strike from Mellie after some superb build-up play from Claire, Nic and Jo Ive. Truman managed to pocket a penalty corner before the half time whistle which meant that Staines had a comfortable lead going into the second half.

But little did Staines imagine that in the second half Wycombe would cunningly gain a twelfth player in the deceptive guise of an umpire’s kit….But to Ruth’s great happiness and pride and Roz’s undoubted frustration and embarrassment not even twelve players could prevent the Staines onslaught as Baldie slotted another goal past the devastated Wycombe keeper and Truman scored two more - one of quite high quality! – Shay where were you?!

But then just as it appeared that all the excitement was over…. Mellie, not Anna, brought out her handbag and threatened the Wycombe twelfth player, Jo Ive fell into a gym routine of sausage rolls and Ruth, being as kind and generous as she is, allowed Roz a consolatory goal. Well they go back a long way…….a long, long, long way!

So the battle of 1969 was won by the Staines team of 2004. Programmes are already in the production line for the re-match organised for 2039 and by Saturday’s performance it’s likely that Ruth and Roz will still be there….perhaps, however, this time with hockey sticks turned round the other way!

Ladies 2nd XI

Ladies 3rd XI

Ladies 4th XI