Match Reports For Saturday 31st January Season 2003 - 2004

Mens 1st XI

Staines were looking to continue their good run in 2004 by taking on mid table Chiswick on Saturday and ran out comfortable 7-3 winners.

Having gone behind to some sloppy goals in their last few games Staines were determined that this would not happen again. Starting strongly Staines pushed Chiswick onto the back foot from the very beginning and the pressure began to build when Staines won their first penalty corner of the game. The initial shot was charged down and the rebound fell to Geraint Hughes who hit his shot into the bottom corner, only for it to be stopped on the line by a defenders foot. The resulting penalty stroke was despatched past the 'keeper by James Chapman. The game continued to be in Staines' favour and they dominated most of the play. However, Chiswick hit Staines on the break a couple of times. It was from one of these breaks that they won a penalty corner and scored themselves. At 1-1 Staines continued to play some great hockey with the ball being moved around comfortably and it was not long before they scored again. The ball moving from the right wing around the defence to Mike Farmer on the left who hammered the ball into the circle for Geraint Hughes to deflect the ball past the 'keeper. The third goal for Staines arrived soon after when some lovely play by Stuart Hall, Tim Griggs and James Chapman led to Matt Truman spinning in the circle and letting fly with a reverse stick effort which beat the goalie. With Staines comfortably in the lead and Chiswick rarely threatening the first half ended.

The second half continued in similar vein to the first with Staines dominating and the occasional Chiswick attack being dealt with by Gary Kemish, Mark Hampton and John Stannard in defence. Midway through the second half Staines' lead was increased by another goal by Matt Truman, but almost immediately Chiswick went up the other end and slotted a penalty corner which was poorly defended by the blues. This spurrred Staines on and fairly quickly they scored again. From a shot by Chapman the ball fell kindly for Neil Toulson, who slotted the ball home from close range. At 5-2 up Staines did not sit back and looked to score more goals. This soon happened, when from a bad tackle in the Chiswick circle, Chapman increased the lead again from another penalty stroke. Again though, Staines were vulnerable and Chiswick immediately replied with another poorly defended penalty corner. With the score 6-3, Staines pushed for more goals and got another when from a broken down penalty corner Stannard slipped it home under the 'keeper. A much better all round performance by Staines this week meant that they scored their highest goal total so far in the league. However, they leaked a number of weak goals and this will have to be worked on. But they take on Fareham next Saturday and hope to improve again.

On Sunday, Staines took on Indian Gymkhana in the Middlesex Cup and maintained their good form with a 3-1 win. Geraint Hughes opened the scoring before Gymkhana equalised. Then James Chapman scored a brace, with one coming from the penalty spot. James Hall also came close to scoring, hitting the post and forcing the Gymkhana 'keeper into a wonderful save.

Mens 2nd XI

Staines were on a high after last week's epic contest. This week same venue, same team, but different opposition. JD and Sniffer Watson had a committee meeting and had a re-jig about of players. Douglas was switched from centre half to sweeper as he was at times spluttering out of his blowhole last week. Shagger Hine was back in the middle and JD, somewhat recovered, was back at right half. Barry the arthritic gimp was upfront in his nice new Staines shorts.

Staines started a bit off the pace and we were caught napping as Havant put a couple past us in quick succession. Several flashes of attack from Staines worried Havant as the notcutts sniper cut down Barry in the D but we were given no just reward. Havant hassled and jostled Staines and some passes went astray. Better play emerged when more confident passes and composure on the ball led to fast attacks down the right hand side. Havant countered this by packing that side full of players. JD switched flank and that allowed Staines to play our fast, pass and move game.

Some interesting umpiring allowed Havant to score off a short corner which was fiercely debated but the goal stood. The whippets running one and two broke early and amidst the confusion a lack of direction from the umpire meant the goal stood. Barry chased up front and was felled by the Notcutts sniper again. This time his aim must have been off as Barry stood up with his shorts ripped flapping about in the wind and rain.

A bollocking at half time meant we started the second half with improved more fluent hockey. Passing round the back was much faster and assured. Some of our play in the midfield was broken down and Havant attacked down the middle giving Royston plenty of kicking practice. The weather worsened and as such we changed tactics and booted the ball down the flanks. Width proved far more successful as the middle was clogged with players. When Staines got wide and around their defence we caused havoc but just couldn't get the final ball in to the net.

Some excellent defending on short corners in particular Chris Hine charged down their shots and flicks despite the fact that most of them were dangerous and wouldn't have counted deserves special mention. Kit Wilkinson on the sidelines was unleashed like a bull to red rag. Kit attempted to tackle their pacey centre forward well inside their own half. His first effort would have felled a beech tree. Mick Martin, calm and authoritative as ever waved play on. Our axe man wasn't finished yet and chased him down like he had said something offensive about his mum. As the centre forward approached our D Royston came charging out to tackle him just as Kit's mighty sword, like a moment from Arthur and Excalibur, came thundering down past shoulder height and felled the oppo's stick sending him tumbling. Our other, humorous, umpire produced the yellow card that banished Kit to the sidelines and will forever change his nickname to the axe man.

I forget what the score line was but I note that the same opposition put 15 goals past our nearest (geographical) rivals. I also noted that they were beaten by eight goals this week to the same team that we drew against last week. Notably Canterbury. Next week Woking away and a win would ensure that we leapfrog Lewes in the table too.

Fines.

It has been mentioned many a time by the fines master that ignorance is no excuse. That's alright if you went to school. Kit the axe man slunk off early and was absent from fines. Thus avoiding what he and we all knew. The wellies had his name written all over the them. A huge schoolboy error. Clive was busy stirring the pot, as he was confident he wouldn't be dick of the day. He even turned up early having arrived at the station two hours early. Good work there Clive. Having proved it once he has now set the benchmark for himself, woe betide him if he's ever late again. With the axe man having been already awarded the outfit in his absentia votes would still be needed. Man of the match was a closer affair. Shagger Hine and Sponging student got a few votes but Royston for his entire goal keeping efforts to reduce the goal difference was awarded man of the match. Dick of the day. Sometimes you just have to fall on your sword and this week Skipper Watson took the dubious honour. Certain murmurings confirmed that it was the pre-match team talk that earned him this week's outfit. The drink off between Royston and Sniffer was good. Roy set a quickest record this season for the team but Watson was so far off form that during fines it all came back up. Although Clive's tie may have been the cause for this. Better luck next week old chap.

Mens 3rd XI

Another away game, but at least this week it was a local one at Battersea Park (anything under 50 miles range is considered local in this League!). Roy is making himself comfortable in the 2's so we welcomed back Big Harvey (even bigger than Bouncy Jim) who has often guested for the 3's in seasons gone by. Particularly memorable was the occasion 2 years ago when we beat Enfield 13-0. Harvey only touched the ball once and that was to fetch it from the corner of the pitch. We still charged him £10 for the privilege! Also helping out this week was Scouse Forrester, and Danny Knowles fresh back from his extended Christmas rest. Although we were up against the high flying Wanderers, with our team virtually at full strength, the Third Battalion was in a positive mood. With the toss duly lost, we started and immediately our new shape defence was under pressure. After weathering this early storm the blues steadily battled back and caused the Wanderers goal keeper to flap. A couple of good runs from Danny, some tricky stuff from Mik and Racer Rodders enabled all to have pot shots. All this to little avail when Wanderers managed to drive into our D and slide the ball twixt Harvey's gapping thighs. The half drew on, each side swapping short corners and showing full commitment. Then late in the half a Wanderers short was not fully cleared, their forward drove back in but seemed to have been safely sheparded to the back line, unfortunately the miss hit cross evaded both defenders and another attacker stole in unmarked to flick it past Harvey's huge form. 2-0 down at half time is not an ideal situation. Second half started similar to the first with Wanderers looking sharp from the off and then Staines eventually catching them up and generally matching them. Staines defence was now working really well with Brendan doing well at right back, Scouse sweeping and swapping scouse banter with his compardari Harvey, and Plumber Nelhams dominating at centre back. For some reason the Plumber was wearing a tea cosy on his head. He claimed it was a woolly hat, but we could all see the hole for the spout and the brown stains around it. Lurch and Bouncy Jim did their best to hold the centre but it was hard going against the well drilled Wanderers. The teams hard work eventually paid a dividend when a quick defensive clearance picked out Mik. He neatly got the ball under control and threaded a superb pass for Danny to run on to. Danny drove on like a man possessed, entered the D and we were all delighted when he thrashed his shot low past the keeper. Now we were in with a real chance to get something from playing at Battersea, other than a parking ticket or maybe a sad looking pet dog. Staines pressed forward and rode our luck defensively as we tried to unlock the Wanderers defence that was now stitched up tighter than a Brothel madams corset in a bondage dungeon. We won several short corners but Bouncy Jim's flick couldn't get airborne and other plans failed equally. Eventually Wanderers were available to capitalise on one of their counter attacks as they managed to get men over on our defence, along with a bit of confusion as to whether the aerial ball into the D was allowable. Eventually the ball came down amongst the expectant crowd of waiting players, whereupon it emerged from the entanglement to land in our net. Bugger. Another lost game, at 1-3, again the team deserves credit for the determination and effort exhibited, but we just can't seem to find the old onion bag. Hero: Brendan got a mention and Mik's hard work deservedly got him several. But this was matched by Danny, who also scored a rare M3's goal so he was this weeks hero. Played like an old woman: Harvey secured a vote or two for not leaping Salmon like. Kingsley did not arrange for a match report last week and his driving ability has not improved so that merited mention. Finally for being crap at navigation, stressing out Kingsley and then disappearing whilst on the field of battle, Little Phil aka Pykie Phil aka Diamond Geezer (why?) aka Foetus won the pink gown. At least he seemed to revel in the thrill of wearing women's cloths, perhaps it was the feel of nylon next to his skin....dirty little devil! Faux Pas Award: We arrived at Battersea, parking up to see a very excitable Mikhail gambling up and down like a new born foal, whittering on about parking meters, and have you any change, its a £1 an hour, is it permit holders only ?, and he has put £3 in already and its only given him 1.5 hours, what are we going to do, and I think I want a wee. Mr Safety approached the offending parking ticket machine. Being a reasonably intelligent engineer he swiftly assessed the situation. "Calm down Mik" said Mr Safety soothingly "its Monday to Friday 9 to 5. Today it is free because its Saturday!". Tough shit about your £3, Mik!

Mens 4th XI

Mens 5th XI

Mens 6th XI

Mens Centurions

Ladies 1st XI

Tropical conditions greeted the Staines Ladies I when they ventured to their away game versus Winchmore Hill & Enfield. Eager to keep up the standard set last week against their biggest rival South-someone, the ladies excitedly anticipated walking out onto the pitch in the monsoon conditions to extend their goal difference past the one hundred mark.

As it happens the action began even before the starting whistle…much to the displeasure of Mellie who acquired not a groin strain…not a groin pull…but a groin graze. In a safety demonstration on how not to hold your stick while gathered in a standing group and why it is highly dangerous to stand in front of a hockey keeper, teacher, Anya Gray, taught us all a valuable lesson….…ouch. Unbeknownst volunteer Mellie was traumatised and in a great deal of pain…..but quickly managed to recover and miraculously walk again on Edward’s suggestion that he act physio.

Finally, after the WH&E umpire appeared, the game commenced. From the start Staines dominated as they passed the ball around the back and through midfield. The general tempo and ball speed was below expectations but Staines did what was needed and the breakthrough came early as Nicki Walsh converted a well-worked penalty corner. Shortly after our very own 1969 veteran Ruth Hine followed Nicki’s example with a fantastically thrown lob which dropped over the Winchmore keeper’s head perfectly to give Staines a two goal lead. Ruth, hitting accurately and powerfully on the day, then struck a blinding straight strike to extend the lead to three.

It was most definitely the reign of the midfield as the forwards, accommodatingly, ran strategically aligned runs that created space allowing the midfield of Mellie Atfield, Sue O’Connell, Nicki Walsh and Kerry Maskery to pass around Winchmore’s midfield and attack in numbers on their defence. Goal number four was the product of a period of Staines pressure and attributed to a fantastic run and strike by Kerry Maskery, which incidentally was followed by another superbly worked midfield goal as Nicki Walsh and Sue O’Connell teased Winchmore with their passing which culminated in Sue’s great conversion. At halftime Staines were five goals up and determined to acquire more goals but, yet more importantly, to improve their general play and shape which was not demonstrative of their recent achievements and discipline.

After a rousing team talk at halftime Staines were anxious to include the forward line to a greater extent and there was a period when a succession of quick, long balls allowed the forwards to stretch their legs. One such ball gave Anna Truman the opportunity to take on her defensive opponent and strike a well positioned shot to bring the goal tally to six. Ruth Hine then extended her dominance of the score sheet with another powerful strike from a penalty corner giving her a hat-trick and a well deserved and unanimous vote for Man of the Match. Winchmore, however, never gave up and continued to battle in defence but to no avail as Staines capped their win with an eighth goal from left attack Sarah Chandler, the result of a period of continually applied pressure on the Winchmore keeper.

Notably it must never be said that Staines do not wholeheartedly seek to punish their opposition in every possible way and this week Lady Jo Strudley took the word ‘punish’ really quite literally as she, on seeing a pass to Sarah Hamilton up front, decided to try another tactic and hit, not the ball, but a Winchmore bottom. Much to the shock of the unfortunate owner of the bottom in question it was then swiftly followed by a bear hug from our committed left Defence Jo. The game somehow managed to continue but Jo did at times feel that it was necessary to plant her own bottom on the astro……it was assumed that she lived in fear of Winchmore ‘bottom’ retribution…luckily she survived the experience and her bottom escaped unscathed but she now does have to suffer a knock to her reputation as Dick of the Day was announced with the three words…. ‘up your @rse’.

So the game ended with an eight nil victory for Staines as they maintain their unbeaten record and prove that they can still achieve good results from games that do not display their hockey at its best. Staines ladies hope to continue their dominance of their league in next weeks' match against Hendon at home, ten o’clock push back.

Staines Ladies I v Eastcote – Sunday 1st February

After Saturday's victory over Winchmore Hill & Enfield Staines were eager to continue their winning ways in the quarter final of the Middlesex Cup against Eastcote. Eastcote employed unusual tactics from the start as they, in the warm-up, initiated a sequence of meditation and team bonding exercises in a desperate attempt to intimidate Staines. But it was to no avail as Staines’ usual pre-match routine, in addition to their new-fangled ‘Johnny worshipping’ huddle, was just too absorbing for them to notice or care who exactly the Eastcote side, with their hand holding and gesturing to the sky, were appealing to for help.

The game began at a high tempo with Staines dominating and forcing Eastcote to work hard for a touch of the ball. The passing was a lot more fluid and far more accurate than yesterday’s game as the opposition forced Staines to up their performance level. A period of Staines pressure in which the ball hardly left the Staines attacking twenty-five resulted in a couple of penalty corners which ultimately yielded nothing. But the deadlock was finally broken when Anna Truman managed to break free from her opponent and undercut the ball from the top of the circle to put Staines into the lead. Eastcote however appeared unfazed by the deficit and continued to battle on but to no avail as Staines’ defence remained solid, led on the day by the display of excellence from the Staines captain, Kate McClean. Staines were eventually awarded for their continued efforts by a penalty flick; the challenge of which was professionally and successfully met by Mellie Atfield who followed it up with a powerful strike from an acute angle which meant that going into halftime Staines were comfortably three goals ahead.

After a rousing team talk in which targets for the second half were set by coach Shay O’Connell, Staines were keen to build on their lead and right from the outset put Eastcote under a great deal of pressure. Two further penalty strokes were awarded due to errors in front of goal by the Eastcote defence and Ruth Hine and Nicki Walsh both expertly netted each of the opportunities leaving the Eastcote keeper without a look-in and coach Shay feeling confident about his penalty taking team. Penalty corners also began to go far better with Anna Truman converting two goals from the pads of the keeper after her initial save and Ruth Hine powering home a fantastic strike to bring the score to eight nil.

However the goal tally does not express a completely accurate portrayal of the second half as although Staines were on top Eastcote continued to battle for that ever evasive goal. A couple of penalty corners offered them an opportunity to stage a comeback but Staines’ defensive four of captain Kate McClean, Jo Strudley, Ruth Hine and Clare Woods remained disciplined and were clinical in their tackles and clearances. Also Goal Keeper Anya Gray maintained a clean sheet for the second day with some fantastic saves at crucial points in the game. But it wasn’t all good…was it captain Kate?!….Our dear captain having maybe acquired some of the sympathetic sensibilities of Ruth in her Roz clash….decided to pass the ball straight, without warning, at our goal keeper Anya…who in the spirit of Twinkle toes dancing in the goal mouth kindly tapped the ball off our back line for an Eastcote corner…too kind…but Maggie would be proud! Kate incidentally was awarded the prestigious ‘Dick of the Day’ but was consoled by the fact that she walked off also with the title of ‘Man of the Match’ awarded perhaps for her superb passing…her majestic Indian dribbling…..her sheer cheetah-like pace…her powerful tackles….her subconscious, hockey intuition…..or…as one of her team members said and I quote… ‘because apart from that pass she played ok’. What praise!!!

Staines, however, egged on by the vast crowds did not stop at eight but Kerry Maskery continued her weekend’s goal spree with a strike into the corner to make nine and a joint effort by Kerry and Anna Truman, of which Anna sneaked the last touch (!), brought the score into double figures which was an appropriate juncture for the final whistle and a well deserved sit down!

It had been a tiring but successful weekend and Staines look forward now to their next league game against Hendon next Saturday taking place at Faulkners and beginning at ten.

Ladies 2nd XI

Building on last weeks positive start to the post-Christmas league fixtures, the Ladies 2's portrayed a stunning performance against bottom of the table Chiswick, with a 6 - 0 win.

Despite facing gale force winds on a slippery Cranford surface the team, which saw a number of players to lose their footing throughout the game, Staines took a very early lead with a super chip-in by Juliet Porter off Claire Woods short corner strike.

The second (Helen White) and third goals (Juliet Porter) followed shortly after as Staines continued to keep the play in the attacking half, both goals resulting from open play. Chiswick made valiant attempts to take the play back into possession but were quickly broken down by the tenacious Staines defence.

The fourth goal came just before half time, the result of a cracking on-target strike by Eryl Penney, and the team regrouped after the break with determination not to sit back on their heels.

An awesome finish by Lizzy Hamilton saw the Staines go 5 - 0 up, just before the arrival of Helen Fisher. The resultant changes in position for several team members caused a few minutes confusion, and Chiswick attempted to make the most of this with some penetrating play, but some highly entertaining and aggressive goal keeping by Julie Purbrick served to keep the Chiswick attack well clear of any goal scoring opportunities.

Staines capitalised on their lead by taking time to spread the ball around, and again challenge the Chiswick defence who by now seemed to be overwhelmed. Patience paid off when playmaker Louise Delany struck home the 6th and final goal just 10 minutes before the end.

Next week the Ladies face Mill Hill (2nd from bottom) at home, and are looking to repeat their success.

Ladies 3rd XI

Ladies 4th XI

What a match!!!

The weather conditions were not going to stop us, there were so many goals scored Ihave forgotten the order, Caroline scored her first goal for the team (well done !!!) she was on top of the moon , Ellie scored 1 , Vikkie had a storming game with 2, Alison scored 1 from outside the D. I couldn't believe our luck, we go for weeks without a win and then 5 !!!

Well done girls, we worked very hard and Ali cheered us from the side line. We are working very hard as a team and most of us turn up for training so it must be paying off.