Match Reports For Saturday 6th November Season 2004 - 2005

Mens 1st XI

Staines took on PHC Chiswick on saturday and got back to winning ways with a 4-3 win. Although somewhat scrappy at times the three points were vital to keep Staines in the top half of the table on the heels of the top three.

Staines started the game strongly with the possesion being kept well. After ten minutes the first proper chance was created with Alistair Geddes finishing off a good team move. This should have been the signal for Staines to pour forward and attack the opposition, but as often happens when Staines take the lead, they sit back and allow the opposition time to control the game. This was the case here and Chiswick soon equalised from a deflection on a hard cross into the circle. This did not deter Staines and they soon retook the lead when Alistair Geddes smashed in another shot over the goalie for his and Staines' second. This lead was soon increased when James Chapman scored a penalty stroke to put Staines fully in command and in a position to close the game out in the second half.

However, this did not quite go as planned as during the second half Chiswick fought back strongly. With a couple of hefty and mistimed challenges both sides saw yellow cards. It was when Staines were down to ten men that Chiswick hit back and grabbed a couple of goals. Once again it was poor defending of a cross into the circle which allowed a Chiswick forward a simple tap in. This was followed by a penalty corner which deflected in off a Staines stick, to put Chiswick right back in it. With Chiswick pulling back Staines' lead, it looked like the game was going to end in a draw. But, on the final whistle of the game Staines won a penalty corner after super play down the right by Neil Toulson and James Hall. John Stannard's straight strike rebounded off a foot on the line and from this rebound, Stuart Hall ghosted in behind the defence to force the ball over the line for an extremely late winner.

With next week's game away at top of the table Brighton, Staines will need to improve their all round game if they want to get any points out of the fixture.

On Sunday, Staines played host to Epsom in the first round of the Trophy and ran out 4-2 winners. Chapman grabbing a hat-trick including two penalty strokes and Neil Toulson chipping in for the fourth.

Mens 2nd XI

No no no no no. This was a bad day at the office by anyone's standards. Hard to explain why but how we react to Saturday's 3-2 defeat away at Mid-Sussex will demonstrate whether this team has the character to win this league. More than one person was heard to say that they believed the 2's would remain unbeaten all year, and that perhaps tells you why we went away to a mediocre team and lost a poor, poor game. Going into the game unbeaten and top of the league saw Robbie Watson's team full of confidence. Think Arsenal away at Crystal Palace on Saturday. Only Arsenal managed to scrape a draw, whereas Staines threw the game away in spectacular style. When the oppo's centre forward apologises in the bar for taking 3 points against you, you know you've not had a good day. But enough speculation, what went wrong?

Staines started well. Very well. We were camped in the oppos D for the first 15 minutes of the game, and, as the opposition's centre half said to me 10 minutes in "this is going to be a long afternoon". Very true. The goals weren't flowing but no matter, the flow of attack and occasional need for solid defence was pleasing on the eye and there was no need to panic - goals would come. Barry buzzed around their defence causing havoc, JD showed composure on the wing and Lee made those runs on the left that have seen him earn many votes in recent weeks. All around the park we were playing well, but with no end product. So at 0-0 at half time, Robbie's message was one of cautious optimism but was quick to tell us that this league does not OWE us results and that if we didn't put the legs in, we would walk away with nothing. Problem is, the opposition were that poor and our dominance in the first half so complete that no-one really beli! eved him. Not for the first time, Robbie was about to be proved right.

The second half started in complete contrast to the first. Staines came out punch drunk and very very slow to the ball all over the pitch. We gave the ball away far too often, we had no decisiveness on the ball or in the D and after 10 minutes Mid-Sussex scored with their FIRST strike at goal all match. I'm not joking - it was their first attempt of any kind towards our goal. Can't remember how it went in, was too busy snoozing on the half way line.

I suppose it's some comfort that this goal woke us up and forced us to consider the impossibility of losing against this team. Although the mistakes were still there, we were more decisive in attack and great work from Barry and Mik up front saw us receive a succession of short corners, which Lee gratefully accepted and he scored two very well placed drag flicks. He's really hitting the net recently with those and is justifiably collecting MOM every time he does. Great work. So with Staines back in front and the oppo on the back foot, it was going to take something unusual to stop us going on to claim a comfortable victory.

What happened next is frankly embarrassing. We all know that umpires get things wrong. They're a strange breed who dress in florescent pink and yellow and drive Nissan's. And very occasionally they make decisions which change games. We also know that over time these things even out, so it's our responsibility not to let this affect our game. We all know this and should be professional enough to let it go, but when three decisions in the space of three minutes that simple defy belief are given, well you get frustrated and you start playing like muppets. See where I'm going with this....?

The Ump had a shocker. He blew up Barry Thomas from 70 yards away with a 3 on 2 situation bearing down on the oppo's goal. "This better be good" was the comment from our skipper. It wasn't. He awarded US a free hit in our 25 for a comment made by the oppo which received a......green card. Pathetic. We made our feelings known. He then cemented our feelings against him when he did it again not 2 minutes later with JD on the ball and another 3 on 2 attack yards from the their goal. Even the oppo complained about this one, claiming it was getting embarrassing. JD wasn't backwards in suggesting he should let the game flow either. Clearly losing it, the Ump then called over Shane to produce a green card for abusive language, even though their centre forward admitted it was him and Shane wasn't even nearby at the time. Close to tears, the Ump then tops the lot by awarding a Penalty Flick after a shot struck Shane in the chest whilst going wide. Beautiful. 2-2.

This mad few minutes from the Ump truly upset our rhythm and we went to pieces. Mid Sussex scored minutes from the end, but frankly no-one cared. We were so incensed by this stage that our only thoughts were on how to get to the Ump after the game without going to prison. Luckily Robbie was on hand to calm the situation and shepherd us off into the corner where no one could do much damage.

So a very bad performance but with our excellent start to the season, we have only slipped to second and are just 1 point off the top. We all sincerely hope that this has taught us a lesson and I'm sure that we will come out fighting. Nobody wants to put in that kind of display again, and I'm sure Coach Duncan will have a few choice words on Tuesday. Luckily he wasn't there to see him team implode, so we may be spared the worst of it. But as the Skipper said last night at the bonfire "things will change". If I was a betting man, I would put money on us doing something special next Saturday at home against Trojans. We are not amused.

Mens 3rd XI

As luck would have it we had a home game at Feltham. Sonning arrived but had forgotten their umpire, some time later he turned up but it didn't make much difference 'cos his arm only pointed one way.
Playing uphill in the first half we were getting trapped in the midfield. Alpo desperately searching for somewhere to pass the ball out of defence. As the game first half went on Staines started to stamp their authority on the game. 1nil down and sponging student crossed the ball to Chubby teacher Jezza who put it in the back of the net. A hit out by Sonning went straight to Sponging Student who ran into the top of the D and roofed the ball past the stranded keeper's head. 2-1 up and an unlikely victory looked on the cards after our keeper had made some good saves to keep us in the game. Sonning scored two sloppy goals from short corners which we failed to keep them out.

In the second half we substituted midfield players as players became tired. The game drifted and became more stretched out. We made some errors trying to attack down the middle of the pitch and Sonning put up camp there meaning there was no way through. Big Ben attacked down the left hand side forcing Sonning back and Alpo came up for a run or two while the two Kemishs held the fort at the back. 4-2 down at the final whistle having been denied some short corners and Big Beno stepped up and blasted the ball from the final short corner into the back of the net to restore some parity to the score. 4-3 down at the final whistle but we should win the return leg.

Mom. Some split voting, Alpo, The keeps and sponging student all got votes. Sponging student took it for his goal almost decapitating their keeper.

Dod. A close fought affair between Taxi Lazlo and Chubby Jezza. Phil got some votes for getting stuck between reverse and first gear pootling along the edge of the D (and no goal today either from you Phil). Strangely quiet and somewhat subdued. But Chubby Jezza took it by a country mile for the somewhat inept, amateur dramatics, resembling a high board diver's jump going wrong when, allegedly, he was felled by their sweeper.

Mens 4th XI

Mens 5th XI

Mens 6th XI

Mens 7th XI

Mens Centurions

Ladies 1st XI

After a disappointing game against Teddington the previous week the ladies had to prove to Coach Shay that they could still play hockey, score goals and make short corners work...."It's not rocket science" afterall.
The meeting in the changing room went smoothly with the beautiful rendition of "A finger of fudge is just enough to give your kids a treat..." from Auntie Audrey and Captain Katie Kate. However, there were early signs of madness from Struders wanting to know where Mellie was as Shay was arriving."I'm beside you", Mellie pointed out. Talk over and it was out to the pitch to take on West Witney which included a mother and daughter combo......this is when reality hits that Bambi is more than twice the age of smEllie.
The game begins and it was clear that Witney were going to be 'tough' opposition and were wanting to win more than Staines in the first half. Half time came and went and it was still a goal desert. Coach Shay was not happy. It was time for Staines to get tough too, get stuck in and have Buffy aggression. It certainly worked. Audrey got a green card from Neil even though she was the other end of the pitch at the time. Struders was getting stressed that no-one was reacting to Witney's free hit, but they hadn't taken it yet. CKK had inspired Kaviar (Kerry/Kelly) to play like a terrier and take no s**t.
A much better performance and two goals for Aud and Bambi rattled Witney and their central defender, who seemed to think it was within the rules to use the back of her stick, was sent off twice!! And she abused the umpires for us being awarded a penalty stroke! How did she not get a red???!!! Mellie stepped up to take the flick which she slotted in the bottom left corner leaving Staines 3-0 up. The final goal came from a very fine display of hockey and Chandler being in the right place, right time and tapping it in. Coach Shay had his confidence restored in us and the 4 goals from Staines was the biggest loss Witney had suffered this season.
A joint Snatch of the Match this week for Aunty Audrey and Bambi. Thoroughly deserved ladies. Doris went to Struders for early stages of alzheimers, although she was outfitless due to previous Doris holder Suzi claiming the outfit had been stolen from her car...mmmm??!!!****
Don't worry team...Doris gear is safe and well. It was in the clubhouse.
Off to Basingstoke next Saturday...bouncy water-based.....we're going to go in hard, right chickadees?????

Ladies 2nd XI

Ever wake up with the feeling that it's going to be one of those days? Well Sat 6 November was just that for the Ladies 2s.

The preceding week hadn't gone too well. There had been a temporary goal keeping situation, but that was sorted. Then Oli, bless her, broke her thumb quite spectacularly at Indoor whilst trying to save a goal. Oli you know that person who stands behind you each week with all that padding? Well she's the goal keeper. She had that shot covered, so there really was no need for you to launch yourself in front of her - that'll teach you to go glory hunting - what were you thinking?

Coach Duncan had an interesting Friday night apparently, involving a night club, copious quantities of alcohol and a sofa-did Ellie have a good night too coach? He was to be found Saturday afternoon taking deep breaths on the sideline trying not to throw up. Enough said!!

Match Reporter managed to lock her car keys, handbag and phone in the car on Saturday morning - Stress City. AA had to be called out to break into the car - soooooo embarrassing!

Not an inspired start to the day. So Teddington at 1.15 for a 2.15 start. We gathered in the changing rooms, eagerly awaiting the team talk. Coach Duncan arrived, he hadn't been there 5 mins when the heat became too much, he went a delicate shade of green and we had to adjourn outside!

Team talk was stirring stuff, nothing more than a win would do, and we're too nice as a team, we must be more aggressive-learn from Yvonne ladies. We had a mega warm up this week as the previous game was running some 30mins late, so lots of sprints, stretches and stick work - blimey we'll all be exhausted before we start at this rate. Right ladies game on.

Remember that hideous game at Harrow when they slotted 4 goals past us in about 15 mins? Well we had a similar situation this week, only this time it was Teddington slotting 2 goals past us in quick succession.

This left us slightly stunned to be fair; Coach Duncan was pacing up and down the sideline forcefully, as we tried to re-group. Slowly but surely we started to pull ourselves together. Ju, Baldie and Hels W worked hard up front, putting in some good runs. The mid-field had their work cut out, with the youth and exuberance of the Teddington players, but we held our own until half time. We didn't let any more goals in, but then we didn't score any either.

Coach Duncan gave us a rollicking, our defending was woeful, we weren't doing what we'd been told, and if we didn't sort ourselves out we'd be looking for another coach.

So the second half saw a more attacking Staines side take to the park. More grit and determination. More effort to be first to the ball, despite having two Teddington players on you at any one time. It was all going well, although we still weren't scoring, until Yvonne got hit with the ball. Thank goodness for Subs, and for Oli who was able to take Yvonne to hospital. They had a good two hours in casualty, and Yvonne left with a dab of glue to the eye (bit like Blue Peter…no sticky backed plastic though) and a nice shiner.

Back at Teddington, we were still battling hard, but frustration was beginning to set in. We were starting to get frustrated with ourselves and each other. However finally we were rewarded with a goal from Hels W. She managed to deflect a cross into the back of the goal. Well done Hels.

Teddington were looking ominous as they surged forward, but we managed to keep them out. There were some interesting umpiring decisions when we got into the Teddington D, which added to our sense of frustration. It looked like we were going to equalise with a short corner that Ez fired at the Teddington goal, but somehow they managed to keep it out.

Final score 2-1 to Teddington. We were all exhausted and disappointed. But there's still a long way to go, and we have to concentrate on our game and work together as a team. Everyone brings something to the team, whether it be skill, pace or whatever. We just have to make it all work at the same time, we're a good team, and we can do this Ladies. Come on girls, heads up, chests out etc etc, let's go for it.

Ladies 3rd XI

After a very productive training session and discussion on how to move forward in the league, we came out on to the pitch like a new and inspired team - everyone was definitely up for a win from the start and therefore end the previous two week run of disappointing results. This week we were joined by Lizzy Hamilton who looked like she was competing for pace with our right wing, Kate O'Kane - their speed helped breakdown the defence several times. At half-time our efforts were rewarded by keeping Chiswick at bay with a 0-0 score - although not for lack of trying and with encouragement from our coaches Tim & Adam giving loud support from the sideline. After a pep-talk from our coaches, Staines new-found resistance paid-off with superb play; ending in two quick goals from Kath Windsor-Baynes who also picked up player of the match. If you can bear it, I'm sure Kath would like to talk you through her goals!!!

Ladies 4th XI

Well after our great victory last week we were all keen to keep up our winning streak. Everyone has even started to turn up on time, yes happy to admit all credit to Vikkie, as since she has been driving I am never late! :-)

In the car park we were even able to see Pix's car chase moves really are something from The Bill and Vikkie was demonstrating her way of exiting a vehicle .. do they not have doors in South Africa?!

As we all proceeded onto the field took a few moments to reflect this was our first week under new leadership. Best wishes to Ali R for her trip, we will miss you!, and good luck to Helen for having to now keep us all in order!

We got off to a great start and for the whole first half the ball was kept busy attacking their goal. However, we just could not seem to get the ball on target. Excellent passing in midfield between Michelle and Tanya was setting up Vikkie to make some great runs down the right wing. Unfortunately Aimee and Kerry just could not seem to get on the end of them.

The defence took the opportunity to support from the half way line with Kath and Caroline making some excellent passes to Michelle and Tanya. We could also rely on Heather and Pix to close down the opposition on the break. Pix even showing that don't worry about the ball …. taking out the oppositions' feet from under them works just as well!!

Helen kept up the pressure on the right and just before half time a through ball to Vikkie allowed her to leave her defender as a mere speck in the distance. A fantastic cross allowed a perfectly positioned Kerry to drive in a textbook goal from off the left post 0-1 .. we were off the mark!!

The second half was again a repeat of the first with possession all our own way. Should have scored more goals but their goalie made some great saves and just kept scrapping the ball right off the line. The constant barrage of attack was rewarded with Kerry driving in another goal midway through the half … 0-2 .. and so surely more were likely! Helen and Vikkie continued their great passing on the right and just before the final whistle a pass to Tanya resulted in a solid cross Michelle was able to finish off … 0-3!! Hurrah!!

Next week Ashford …….. we can't wait!!

Mom - Tanya and Kerry
Also a mention to Karen in goal, making sure she enjoyed her free time, while still ensuring 2 great saves from short corners.
DOD - Pix for her new tackling technique and Michelle for briefly forgetting the role of a striker is to hit the ball and not avoid it!