Match Reports For Saturday 20th November Season 2004 - 2005

Mens 1st XI

On saturday Staines were at home to Barnes. Barnes had started the season well but a couple of recent loses had seen them slip to third in the table, so Staines were looking to take advantage and get themselves back into contention at the top of the table.

Staines started well dominating the game with the defence and the midfield trio of James Chapman, Alistair Geddes and Stuart Hall combining well and allowing the forwards to play some exciting hockey. Staines took the lead early on when the ball was worked into the circle for Andy Evans on the baseline. In attempting to pick out the unmarked Stuart Hall, his cross was deflected past the 'keeper by a Barnes defender. This encouraged Staines and they continued to control the game with Barnes having the occasionnal attack into the Staines half which were comfortably dealt with by the home defence. Staines had the majority of possesion and midway through the half Andy Evans increased their lead with a tap in. Staines continued to dominate for the rest of the half but could not increase the lead nor win any penalty corners and it was Barnes who could have snatched a goal near the end of the first half when they won a couple of penalty corners, but these were well defended by Staines.

The second half saw Staines comfortably ahead and keeping control of the ball nicely. This led to them increasing the lead with a penalty corner - their first and only one of the game. The rebound being tucked away by James Chapman after his initial strike was well saved.

Staines remained in control for the rest of the game apart from a five minute period when experienced defender John Stannard was sin binned for an extremely poor challenge on a Barnes forward. Being down to ten Staines were stretched for the first time in the game but managed to keep the ball out of the goal and Stannard was re-introducd with the score still at 3-0. This was soon to be 4-0, with the best move of the game. Staines swiftly broke from one end to another, the ball being passed between Stannard, Gary Kemish and Stuart Hall down the right and from his cross, James Hall smashed the ball first time past the helpless Barnes goalie. This tied the game up for Staines and draws them again towards the top three in the league.

This coming saturday Staines face a stern test when they face league leaders Sevenoaks, and they will need to be on top form to take something from the game.

v. EAST GRINSTEAD. (Cup.)

Staines were unlucky to lose to national league outfit East Grinstead on sunday in the national cup.

Staines started nervously and were put under pressure for the first few minutes, but they soon realised they could compete against the side who are top of National Division Two. With Staines beginning to attack cracks could be seen to be apppearing in the EG rearguard. These were exposed when Geraint Hughes took a quick free hit to Liam Greene who stormed down the left touchline and crashed the ball to the far post where the diving Stuart Hall, very unluckily, deflected the ball just outside the far post in a move that deserved a goal.

A goal however, was not long in coming and it was through superb work by skipper James Chapman and striker Jeremy Derrick that it came about. The two players swapping passes several times as they carved through the middle of the EG defence before Derrick calmly lifted the ball over the EG 'keeper. With Staines keeping a very tight ship at the back through excellent marking by Mike Farmer, Gary Kemish, Hughes and Greene, and super marshalling by John Stannard, It didn't look like EG were going to get a sniff at goal. Especially when their first few penalty corner attempts were easily cleared by 'keeper Andy Green. At half time Staines were still 1-0 to the good and all the pressure was on EG's.

Into the second half and Staines were keen to push on and increase their lead, however this did not really happen as EG's player coach Kwan Browne increased the tempo of his and his sides play and made Staines really have to work hard to keep the ball. With this in mind Staines still managed a period of pressure and when "super sub" Robbie watson entered the fray he very nearly changed the game. Firstly, he was clumsily brought down just outside the wenty five which led to an EG defender being sin binned. Then from the resulting pressure he brilliantly deflected the ball at goal from a John Stannard pass which was only just reached by the goalie's toe. If this had gone in and with only 15 minutes left Staines would have had a far more comfortable last few minutes. But, as Staines legs got tired throughout the half, space began to appear for the EG forwards and they began to win penalty corners leading inevitably to a goal. First a deflection took the ball past Andy Green in goal and then somewhat cruelly in the last minute, another penalty corner was given and with their last chance of the game EG bagged the corner with a rebound from the initial strike just beating Andy Green's despairing dive. So, although disappointed to lose 2-1 Staines were happy in their performance against a side who play at a much higher level. It was a good test for the Blue Army who will hopefully take this sort of battling performance into next week's league fixture against top of the table Sevenoaks.

Or, as England Hockey reported the game

Staines found themselves 1-0 up at the break against Premier Two table toppers East Grinstead who had to play in the shirts of Staines ladies following a colour clash. Jeremy Derrick put Staines 1-0 ahead but Dwaine Quan Chan and Kwan Browne found the back of the net to spare East Grinstead’s blushes.

Had this said, Staines were deservedly 1-0 up at half time against Premier Two table toppers East Grinstead who had to play in the shirts of Staines ladies as they had forgotten to bring a change of strip. The strip was, apparently, in a car boot whizzing around the depths of Sussex. A superb goal from Jeremy Derrick put Staines into the lead but 2 fortunate goals from Dwaine Quan Chan and Kwan Browne gave EG a fortunate victory.

Mens 2nd XI

This report has been edited.

Moments in history often come down to a single significant event. A crucial moment where heroes are born and enemies defeated. Think Frodo in Lord of the Rings. Think Neo in the Matrix. But no more. Middle Earth has a new hero. There can be only one. Clive Bolton.

Staines ventured south this week for a snowy encounter with Brighton, a traditionally tough fixture. Brighton have had a mixed bag of results but deserve respect, especially when playing away on a freezing, sleeting day perched on the hill with views of the Arctic. So it was with some trepidation that Staines 2's all got lost on route to a tough game, thanks to some dubious map work by Map Boy. Managed to escape fines though, despite the Chairman following the map to the letter and ending up in Eastbourne. Haha.

A brief warm up and some stirring words from the Skipper saw Staines break the trend and start very well. Clearly confident from last week's thrashing of Trojans, Staines ran Brighton ragged in the opening quarter, with short corner after short corner going our way. Unlike last week however, Lee's drag flick radar was misfiring in the snow, so it was back to basics with open play goals. The early running was made by JD on the right, and it was his cross, neatly dummied by Tim, that found Lee at the far post to put Staines up inside 7 minutes. That's 49 goals in 2 games for Lee. 1-0.

Deja vous then kicked in as the Umpire from the Mid-Sussex away game two weeks ago (see match report 6/11 "Umpire close to tears") reminds us why he's one of the most entertaining on the circuit, by sending off Jerry for his first tackle / Brighton's first attack of the game. OK. It was a bad tackle, but it was freezing bloody cold and Jerry had had nothing to do for the first 15 minutes. The guy's is entertaining - more proof to follow. Anyway, Jerry's absence showed as Staines remained on the back foot for much of the first half. But it's testament to Shane, Bolton and the Staines midfield that we recognised the danger and defended in numbers to frustrate the Brighton attack and keep ourselves ahead at half time. Special mention must go to Roy, whose first save of the game was spectacular. Freezing cold and with nothing to do for ages, it was pure instinct that kept Brighton's first attempt of the game out. Pure class.

Half time saw The Skipper in confident mood. Our first 20 mins were great to watch and the final 15 showed character. But lessons were learnt from Mid-Sussex and we needed to turn up the heat in the second half. The Skipper speech went something like this:

Robbie - "I need a hero, I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night. He's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast And he's gotta be fresh from the fight. I need a hero, I'm holding out for a hero 'til the morning light. He's gotta be sure and it's gotta be soon. And he's gotta be larger than life. Larger than life."

JD & Jerry - "Ooh Ooh Ooh Oooooh, Aah Aah Aah Aaaaah, Oooooooh, Aaaaaah"

It seemed odd at the time.

The second half is a blur. What follows is just padding, leading up to the main event, but the entertaining Umpire was up to his usual tricks and sent off Barry for saying something mean about him to Mik and threatened to Red Card him when he said "Isn't that a bit harsh?". A clear case of violence Bazza, surprised you got away with it. Staines were down to 10 again, but no matter. Cometh the hour, cometh the man.

At 1-0 up but suffering from relentless pressure, the ball broke from left back as Anton fired a beauty up the wing to JD. Some neat interplay between JD and Mik saw a ball fired across the top of the D towards Tim. But Tim's eye was drawn from the ball, as Bolton, carrying the hopes of Middlesex on his shoulders, rode gallantly astride his stallion, shield and sword in hand, down the right wing and called for the ball as he breached the enemies D. Slightly surprised by the presence of a horse on the pitch (and as the Umpire let it go), Tim left the ball to Bolton, who collected it neatly and fired home into the roof of the net for Staines' second, effectively sealing the game and his place in history.

It really was a great goal, and at a crucial time. You could visibly see the wind being knocked from Brighton and their heads dropped. Bolton's Duck-Waddle celebration was both quirky and classy, but as it's now become a fineable offence not to celebrate thus, I had better endorse it.

The rest off the game saw constant Staines pressure and some more entertainment from one of the Umpires. He refused to give a free hit when the ball whistled past Barry's nose from a strike directly in front of him and his counterpart at least 70 yards away had to blow. He then sent off a Brighton player for not substituting at the half-way line. Strictly correct, but with 5 mins to go, snowing and the match effectively over, this should tell you how entertaining he can be.

There was still time for a 3rd goal, and it came courtesy of Bazza. In a display of pure teamwork, Barry passed the ball to himself off the post, then pushed Mik out of the way with the ball at his feet and an open goal, to score from a yard and secure a 3-0 victory to the visitors.

Both Skipper and Coach will be immensely pleased about how Staines came, saw and conquered against a tough team, in tough conditions. This away win sees Staines top the league with a goal difference more than twice that of our closest rivals. But we'd give them all up for just one more from the boy Bolton.

MOM: need you ask. Landslide to Bolton.

DOD: need you ask. Landslide to Barry. Honourable mentions: Roy - that first save. Shane - a performance of pure class. Deserved MOM, before Bolton spoiled the party. The Skipper - for discovering Bolton.

Next week is definitely away at Epsom. Another tough game against a title challenger. But confidence is high and Bolton's ordered extra Weetabix.

Mens 3rd XI

Well unfortunately for us Marlow didn't turn at Faulkners. They have been reading our last few results and had come to the correct conclusion that Staines are getting stronger despite having a different team each week and rather than face a good pasting all around the park it would be better to concede. So fair enough given that Ashf*rd did this earlier in the season we now have two games in hand. If we win these plus all the games due before Xmas I work it out, that we should be second. Which is where we really want to be because the team is good enough. In fact it is so strong at the moment even Fumar or Sniffer Watson wouldn't stand a chance of getting in.

Back at the club for a big night out. A mix of 2s and 3s with wasted beno as chairman. £100 of snakebite and 45 minutes later and unfortunately Kingsley Kemish much the worse for wear. Taxi Laslo in someone else's skintight garb was busy chatting up Larry by the pool table. Anton went for a streak in the party next door trying to do a Dougie Foster, be pissed, pull something and have dodgy dyed hair. All that was needed was for him to now coach the ladies 3rd XI! In the cab arrive at Shane's place for a curry. Mrs Horan drove the Porsche with devilish intention. Big Beno head lolling on the car door, glasses half off carrying Barry the gimp in the back looking bald and pissed. In the curry house KK much the worse for wear was taken home by younger brother Gary. He put him to bed and suddenly KK sprang up and told Gary that it was ok he didn't help and Gary should go and pull some bird who was holed up at his place. KK trying to do the older brother bit.

Anyway next week West Hampstead at home. Time to get more points and start moving up the table by giving this lot a good pasting at Faulkners. (PCOTY).

Mens 4th XI

Sleet. What is Sleet? It’s not rain and you can’t make a snowman out of it, so what use is it? Well whatever it is, it was sleeting on us as we threaded our way through London. Fortunately the God’s peered down through the murk above Harrow and switched it off just as the game started, which was jolly decent of them.

This week we were deserted by a few regulars. Dean had to take pictures of something, Sid was AWOL, Mr Hudson was away at Barber College, Das Kapitan was in Germany and Barney is still injured. So it all looked a little grim but as Lady Luck had been bribed with a half bottle of gin and a bag of Chicken and Chips, her gummy, black toothed smile meant that we had a choice of talent to peruse. More luck as the artist formerly known as Servais needed to test his mettle at a lower level after being out with an injury.

The game began and Staines showed what a properly disorganised rabble can be capable of, we passed nicely to each other, and sometimes to Harrow and we had many opportunities to take the lead. Short corners were being won, but unfortunately for us, nothing was converted. Chubby Jezza eventually trying one of his half hearted drag flicks that never seem to work properly, resulting with an easy save and clearance. For us on the other hand, the few times I did see the Harrow forward line, we mostly shut them down quite easily. Colin in place of Sidney at Sweeper gave a good account of himself in tackling, but the poor wretch had problems clearing our lines, exchanging hockey stick for white stick on their first goal. Short corner, save, ball breaks free and is played around my good, laying on the floor, flapping about self towards Colin, who proceeded to whip out the white stick, tap it on the floor a few times, whilst stumbling around the goal line as the ball heads into our net.

Never mind, one goal down, but to be quite fair, we had about 80% of the play, I’m sure we can come back, there’s still 15 minutes of the first half remaining…….

So 1-0 down at half time, it wasn’t quite the time to panic as we thought we were a little hard done. Just a few tweaks here and there, players are playing well in patches, we just need to link them all together and we would prevail.

And that’s exactly what we did.

It began as the crippled Laszlo hobbled into the Harrow D, collected the ball and held it whilst the insectoid like figure of Sticky zoomed into the area in time to receive the inch perfect pass from the Laz and converted it into a drilling shot into the bottom corner, well when I say “drilling shot”, it was more of a wet fart. In fact, the shot was so weak that if the ball was a dippy egg, and Adams stick was a spoon and the D was a giant breakfast table, then, well, let’s just say that Mr Hart’s soldiers would have been safer than a fit bird in Ghandi’s bed.

Regardless of the rubbishness of the goal, this piece of inter team co-ordination infected the rest of the Blue Army and we started to play with a little more conviction.

We won a short, which the Toad spooned out to Mart the Tart, who darted right and flicked the ball over keeper and through the tangle of defenders into the goal. Rolling now, Staines hammered Harrow into the ground with another couple of goals, the third started with the Stickster finding Tart with a long ball. Tart rounded the remaining defence which was the cue for the keeper to come charging off his line. All he could do was take the Tarts legs from him, but before he toppled over he managed to reverse the ball to the waiting Sponging Student who proceeded to showboat in a Harlem Globetrotter fashion, before finding the net.

The last blue goal was from a short corner that Adam fired into the goal mouth for the keeper to pad it out as far as the on form Monkey, who pinged it back this time into the corner of the net. More pressure from Staines proved fruitless, and we did wobble a little when Harrow decided to close the gap a little with a rare short corner that was saved, but scrambled into the net after we failed to clear it. Once again Action Man Reed tap tap tapping his little white stick on the floor to no avail.

A good overall game this week, we were a little unlucky with the goals that went in against us, but it happens that way some days. Some great performances from the likes of the Sponging Student who ran and ran for us, Gloria was on form and didn’t want to fight everyone, new boy Long Tom kept the right back spot filled well with some good tackling, Laz, (who is currently crippled with a broken toe) provided much needed comedy relief as he hobbled around up front like a dying wildebeest.

Simon, played very well too even though it’s really too cold for Toads at this time of year. Monkey was back to his best this week too.

MOM: Despite getting all shouty-crackers with our Umpire, Mart the Tart takes the champions shirt home

DOD: Poor Old Colin. Apparently, RNIB want you for their experiments.

Next week: A 3.30 push at Aylesbury and another shortage of IV’s regulars.

Who will be playing for us? Who knows! If you have a stick and a pair of suitable shorts, it could be you!

Mens 5th XI

Mens 6th XI

Mens 7th XI

Mens Centurions

Ladies 1st XI

44 hours in the life of Doris

HOUR 1
Ever got to 7pm on a Friday night and just known that you are going to be Doris? Well, here is my story.......
Once upon a Friday evening in a leafy suburb of London, Doris arrived home to be greeted by 3 Polish men (of various sizes) and a couple of penguins (all imaginary). "You're boiler is bust, Doris" Thomas said (in a Poish accent), "and we've been freezing all day. I can buy a new one for you cheap. I have friends who can help". Doris, not one to miss out on a bargain and hoping he was genuine, left Thomas lots of cash to buy the boiler and fix it on Saturday. The Polish left and Doris was all alone with the penguins. As penguins don't chat much, more squawk, she got herself tucked up in bed with woolly hat, gloves, ski socks, nice pink PJs and the alarm set for 7am and on extra loud as Doris was afraid that she wouldn't be able to hear it with the hat covering her ears.
Ice decended on the house in the leafy suburb and Doris went to sleep.
HOUR 12
Suddenly there was a huge noise and Doris awoke with a start. Yes, the alarm had worked and the whole street could definately hear it. Doris turned on the 3 fan heaters to try and dry out the paint downstairs and then she had to get ready for a very important hockey match. She put her kit on, including socks, but had a bit of a dilemma about the location of her skirt. Where was it? So she had to wear the slightly large one she'd been meaning to give back to Sid and exchange for a smaller size (can I give back worn once skirts? Does anyone need a new one?).
Then there was a knock on the door and the Poles were back to resume the decorating and go on the quest for the boiler. After providing them with coffee and herbata (Polish for tea), Doris continued to get ready. But where were the team sheets? Could Doris find anything that morning? Was the house upside down because of the decorating? When were the Poles going to finish the job? Doris was beginning to get into a flap. So she phoned Coach Shay to see if he had a spare team sheet, but no answer. AAAAaaaahhhhhhhh!!!! Poor Doris. But low and behold the team sheets appeared in the kitchen under the toaster and next to the gin.
HOUR 15
It was time for Doris to journey West to the Land of Staines and see the first half of the 2nd XI Ladies' game. After 30 minutes, a phonecall from Coach Shay and surprisingly not being flashed by a speed camera, Doris arrived at the club and walked over to the pitch. Just as she was arriving the rest of the 1st XI team were walking from the pitch to the club to get ready. Poor Doris didn't get to see any of the game.
In the club house the ladies were getting ready. Doris could not find her socks and confided in Aunty Audrey. Silly move as in fact the socks were already on Doris' feet. However, for a 30 minute period everything went quite smoothly for Doris. In the changing room Aunty Audrey told the team that there's a U in successful, Shay confessed that he had already done Ruth, but wouldn't pinpoint which one and Mellie questioned the idea of bouncebackability.
HOUR 16 and 30 minutes
At last the game was going to start. Doris even won the toss for once, hooray!!! The first 15 minutes went well and spectators even commented that they thought the ladies would win easily. First goal came from Mellie. A slick penatly corner and the ball deflected off the keeper's inner pad. 1-0 to Staines...marvellous thought Doris. Another corner was awarded and this time Aunty Audrey lobbed the ball over the keeper and Staines were 2-0 up.
However, it was at the 16th minute that the curse of Doris descended on the team. Quick movements from Maidenhead led to them breaking through the ranks, past Twinkle Toes who went down like a sack of Comber spuds plus a dashing run from Doris who got between the two forwards and her stick did touch the ball, but NOOOOOO!!!! the forward still had it and slotted it in and it was 2-1 to Staines.
Within 5 minutes the score was 2-2...what was happening????? Doris couldn't take much more.
Half time and a stern talking to from Shay and the ever important intake of glucose tablets supplied by Mystic Luce, the ladies went off to sort it out and win at all costs. 43 minutes and Maidenhead had their 3rd!!! Doris was near to tears, GI Jane said that she didn't understand why it was all happening but that they could talk about it later. Struders, obstructed by smEllie, then hyperventilated having not read the instructions on her cough mixture. What else could go wrong???
Inspiration from Kaviar and Adivar helped poor Doris. "Chin up Doris, remember the trenches, get stuck in" they shouted. Then Maidenhead began to crack....the curse of Doris had been temporarily passed.... and a deliberate stop with a foot led to Aunty Audrey asking the umpires to talk about it, which rightly gave Staines a stroke (not of the heart kind, though it was close). Well done Aunty Audrey! Mellie, thinking that if she scored Staines would take the lead, stepped up and placed a beautiful ball in the bottom left and the scores were level. Not in the lead, Mellie !!!!! Finally with great work from Kaviar and Ever-ready Sue, ANNA got the ball and put it in. YEE HAAA!!!!!!! We were in the lead!!!!! Whistle went and the ladies had pulled it back and it was 4-3 to Staines. With a few tears of relief, joy and stress, Doris left the pitch to go and get a pint. Plus there was Secret Santa to draw and smEllie's Dad to meet.
HOUR 19
With a few late entries for Doris of the Day - Mellie thinking the ladies had won 4-2 and smEllie showering but leaving her change of clothes in the car, the votes were removed from the nice new shiny postbox and it was clear that Doris had saved smEllie again from wearing the forensic overalls.
Doris of the Day went to Doris...her predictions had been correct from HOUR 1....and Snatch of the Match went to Mellie.
HOUR 21
Gi, smEllie and Doris had decided that they were as crap as each other and were relieved that Twinkle Toes still loved them.
HOUR 25
Chandler and Doris nearly won pool...was the luck of Doris changing??
HOUR 26
Anton was naked.
HOUR 26 and 5 minutes
But what did the granny in the party in the hall make of him and his tinker?
HOUR 27 and 30 minutes
A delicious curry arrived on the table in Englefield (?) Green but Doris had to go and catch her lift. Poor Doris had to take a doggie bag and eat her nan bread walking down the street.
HOUR 28
Boiler was working
HOUR 43
Doris went to watch the men play their Cup match.....but as she and smEllie entered the Stadium of Light they spotted some strange geezers in their shirts. What was going on? Had the world gone completely mad?
At least No 2 was playing better than Doris had the previous day and Sue's shirt could dribble like a ninja. Suddenly it happened...Mellie got a yellow card. "OFF, OFF!!!" the crowds chanted, "Look it's Mellie", GI, Struds, Anna, smEllie and Doris screamed.
HOUR 44
At last, it was all over for Doris as she had reached the 44th hour. Who will be the Doris next week? Can they do the web report because this Doris has taken 44 hours to write this one.

One final note from Doris......she got done on the boiler price, bugger!

Ladies 2nd XI

Our enforced rest/lie-in last week was just what the Dr ordered quite frankly. Coach Duncan had decided that we needed to 'up the tempo' as our passing and everything was at OAP speed. Dare I say it but for some of us that might be as good as it gets. The training session was devised accordingly-loads of cones nicely colour co-ordinated - it's a girl thing. Training over and our Coach was smiling, mission accomplished.

Saturday was Hounslow & Ealing at home. We arrived full of the joys of spring with bundles of energy and left some 2 ½ hours later looking well past our sell by date quite frankly.

HE are the only team to take points from league leaders Harrow. On top of that 'Duncan's Boys' had won 8-2 last week, and he was expecting the same from us. No pressure then ! Well whatever 'Duncan's Boys' can do, his 'Women' can do even better.

We had to take the game to HE and be more aggressive, Coach wanted someone other than Baldie to display aggression. Yvonne didn't need telling twice, she was awesome. She was taking no prisoners this week, and with that attitude you don't want to mess with her.

From the off we stamped our authority on the game, moving the ball quickly into HE's D. We soon earnt a short corner and what's more we scored-wonders will never cease. It was a damn good strike too from Eryl, which flummoxed the keeper and hit the back board - oh how we like that sound.

We continued to pressure the HE keeper, and Baldie was unlucky not to score in fact all the forwards and most of the mid field were unlucky not to score. Captain Fantastic Lou worked her way through several HE players into the D only to be denied a goal.

Still half time arrived and we were 1-0 up. Coach Duncan arrived to say we were playing well, but we needed more goals. Baldie felt the need to point out that despite HE not having their regular keeper she still couldn't score.

So second half under way and we were awesome, I think that's a suitable word to describe us. We were disciplined, ball speed was good, we were first to the ball and our passing was second to none (well for us anyway). It wasn't long before the goals were flowing.

There was a bit of a melee in front of the goal and Debs popped up to get the ball over the line. Next it was Suzi's turn, she collected the ball in mid field, ran it into the goal and slammed the ball into the goal.

Not to be outdone by the rest of the forwards, Baldie decided that it was her turn to score. She should be fined for over celebration, but on the grounds that it's been a long time, she escapes with a sympathy vote.

So at 4-0 up you'd have thought we'd be satisfied, but no, Oli decided she wanted a piece of the action. There was a nice one two move with Baldie which resulted in Oli making a slick pass past the keeper and into the goal. And all that with a broken thumb, she scored with a broken toe last season - she loves to glory hunt.

Finally it was left to Baldie to make it a nice round 6-0 win for Staines. It was our best performance to date, and to round the day off nicely Duncan's boys could only manage a mere 3-0 win. Told you his women could do better !

Thanks to everyone who supported us, we really appreciated it. Man of the match this week went to Yvonne, it nearly went to Baldie but it was a brave women who voted against Yvonne ! Doris of the Day went to Captain Forgetful Lou, for leaving her skirt in the car and only realising in the nick of time!

Ladies 3rd XI

I have the privilege of writing the Match Report for the Ladies 3rd’s against Sunbury on 20 November. Having earned the Doris award this week for least amount of play (which I’m very happy about actually) without further ado WE WON WE WON WWWEEE WWOONN!

This is how it all went down….

We met bright and early at 0915 (as bright as the English weather would allow) and went into the cloakrooms to warm up our jaws before the match. It was touch and go for a moment when one of our star forwards nearly got trapped in the ladies loo... but with a few encouraging words and team support she was out quickly. When we were done we headed for the field to face the next battle in the War to Win the League. A quick warm –up was done thanks to Wendy our ladies were nice and toasty after 10minutes. A couple of warm-up exercises between the girls and a couple of balls it was time to face the music.

What wondrous music it was, Julie sang the right tune and we were up a goal within the first 10minutes! WWWHHHOOOOOWWW go STAINES. There was great teamwork and all the players where talking and never was there a quiet moment on the field. Adam was there for support and encouraging “TRIANGLES LADIES!” and so we managed to beat the opposition time after time speaking of which at half time we were 2-0 up and the team spirit was through the roof. Being total professionals though we stayed focused and had a constructive team chat at half time.

As the whistle sounded for start of play we all headed to our positions thinking of our role in the team. Me… I headed back to the goals to enjoy some “down time”. Staines continued on their mission to climb up the league table and another 2 balls soon found the back of the goals one of these from Lizzy. In the last 2minutes, a nail biting time in any match, Jeanette sent a beautiful ball to Julie’s stick and she cunningly tapped it past the keeper to take Staines to 5-0!

I am pleased to say that I only had to make 1 save during the whole game and spent the rest of the time running after the ball as my backs were feeling a little tired (lazy if you ask me).

Awards for the day:
MOM: Lizzy – great stick work and well placed balls
DOD: Chantél – keeper for not getting “involved” in the game hence the report

Ladies 4th XI