Match Reports For Saturday 5th November Season 2005 - 2006
Mens 1st XI
Staines took on top of the table Slough on saturday afternoon determind to
put in a strong performance and eventually ran out 8-6 winners.
Suprisingly, with so many goals scored it was the defences who stole the show
during the first few minutes of the game, Liam Greene especially excelling at
the heart of the Staines rearguard. However, once Staines had taken the lead
the floodgates opened. Rich Cardigan benefited from a great pass by Liam Greene
to open the scoring following a surging run, before Staines were put under pressure
by Slough's exciting forward line. The pressure told as Staines conceded 3 goals
in a short space of time, as well as knocking in another of their own from the
penalty spot, skipper James Chapman converting.
Into the second half and the game continued to be played at a high pace with
the ball racing from end to end. Staines grabbed an equaliser through Cardigan
before Slough again took the lead to go ahead 4-3. With the game swinging wildly
from end to end it was suddenly Staines who began to dominate and during a ten
minute period wrestled complete control of the game by scoring 5 goals. Cardigan
completed his hattrick before John Stannard smashed home two penalty corners.
Adam Hart then got his name on the scoresheet with a blistering shot off his
reverse side as Slough imploded under the pressure. At 7-4 up it looked like
Staines could relax, but Cardigan had other ideas and went on to score his fourth
and Staines' eighth. This wrapped up the victory for Staines but not before
Slough showed why they were top of the table, grabbing two more goals to frighten
Staines and the home crowd and to provide an uncomfortable finish to the game.
So, with a final scoreline of 8-6 Staines beat Slough and have now moved up
to third place in the table. Next saturday Staines travel to Southampton to
take on newly promoted Trojans in what will be a tough encounter.
Sunday
Staines travelled to Winchester on Sunday for the second round of the HA Trophy.
Following a strong win against league leaders Slough on Saturday, Staines were
confident of progressing to the next round. Despite a mediocre performance Staines
emerged 4-2 winners with goals from James Chapman, Andy Evans and Rich Cardigan
(2). Highlights were few and far between and the day shall be remembered more
for the wet and windy weather rather than the quality of the hockey.
Mens 2nd XI
Mens 3rd XI
Remember, Remember the 5th of November. Well, this one certainly was! A damp blustery afternoon saw the Blue Army 3rd Battalion roll up to face the British Airways Foreign Legion. With injuries and unavailability, the 3rd battalion had to call up some reserves with Max Hall making his debut, and started badly as Pace O'Brien gifted BA their 1st goal by passing straight to their centre forward 0-1. BA then exhibited some very good stick skills as they made that 0-2 after about 10 mins. What we found difficult to believe was that we had most of the possession but couldn't find a way through until our quick short corner routine caught them asleep and the Tart made it 1-2.
Then came the interesting part. Nick 'Para' Kemp went down the left and was tackled, the ensuing tangle ended with Nick pushing their guy away with his foot!!! BA didn't like this and the language that followed caused Mick to issue a yellow to their captain and a red to their forward who had nothing to do with the incident but who had developed a dislike to the Chubster. The half ended 9-10 in men after Nick got a yellow as well and 1-2 in goals.
The second half saw Staines pull level but to 2-2 but fall behind again to another well taken goal. But time, fitness and the lack of men started to tell for BA as the Blue army poured forward in ever increasing numbers. 2-3 became 3-3 and the 4-3 as Alpo purred into the D to convert Tarts cross. BA scored a disputed short corner and then Staines scored 5 unanswered goals, the most amusing being a bully between the Chubster and one of them. He was obviously living in the dark ages when bullies needed 3 hits. After one he just stopped and watched while Jezza, dribbled past 2 and gave it to Tart on a plate! The game had by now become a procession and eventually ended 9-4 to Staines.
This victory puts us second only 3 points behind leaders Amersham and Chalfont.
Martin Rengger 2
Max Hall 2
Bill Roper 2
Ian Arnould
Rich Hudson
Alpesh Patel
or
During the build up to this game Staines were conscious of the kind of team
the BA were purported to be. This, however, did not seem to affect the way in
which Staines 3s pushed the ball around the park. It was very important not
to let rumour and conjecture affect the way this team prepared for the game
otherwise it would have been game over before even stepping onto the pitch.
Based on some of the reports from previous matches, British Airways' reputation
somewhat preceded them onto the pitch. As it turned out they seemed a pretty
ineffective, if not offensive, bunch of lads. Staines made a dominant start
but, as has happened in previous matches, had moments of lost concentration
that resulted in scores. The initial advantage of possession was undone after
two minutes after Dino made a kamikaze pass across goal which was intercepted
and resulted in a clinical finish for a 1-0-lead for the home side. It was all
Alpesh's fault - of course. Staines recoiled by taking full control of the game
with some slick passing and build-up play. Alpo was pivotal in the sweeper position
picking up and distributing the ball with competence, and Nick working hard
on the left creating much space down the flank. A second lapse in concentration
from Staines allowed BA to take a shot from out wide - the second goal was duly
conceded against the run of play.
Staines continued to dominate with possession and were rewarded two minutes
later. Tart got Staines on the score sheet with a neatly worked short corner
routine - a huddle, quick injection and a clinical finish.
With renewed vigour Staines again dominated possession and territorial advantage.
BA, however, looked dangerous on the counter attack and once again punished
Staines when their centre broke forward and dinked inside, only to slip it past
a Staines defender and underneath Bromley. 3-1 BA.
Calamity followed shortly after. With the Staines having taken the ball into
the attacking left corner, 'Karate Kid' Nick Kemp lashed out at the BA defender
after he was on the end of another niggley challenge. Confusion reigned for
a few minutes as BA voiced their displeasure at the shove - even though Umpire
Mick had given it in their favour. There was continuous protest by BA and the
main protagonist talked himself into a green card for abusive language. The
card went from green to yellow to red. Mick almost got his platinum visa out
to show the guy the door. In an attempt to even up the game the BA umpire, quite
rightly, decided to brandish his yellow card for Nick's brazen attempt to recreate
the climax to Karate Kid. Somewhere in the melay BA's Captain, who quite frankly
should know better, also talked himself into a yellow. Thanks very much!
Half time allowed Staines to gather their thoughts before gaining the upper
hand again with possession and territory. Staines started to drive home their
advantage and shortly after drew level with 2 quick goals. A quick repost from
BA showed that there was still life in the old dogs before, again, Staines drew
level at 4 all.
Then the scoring got silly. BA continued with their dirty tactics and with a
number of final warnings issued but no further cards - Arnould did well to keep
his cool on a couple of occasions. Captain Jezzer got shot by the Notcutt sniper
and new boy Max created lots of space on the right despite a pulled hammy. Kingsley
tracked his man closely and did a good job in defence.
5 goals ensued - Rich scored from short corner slip to the left, Arnould got
one "route one", Max roofed a reverse stick, Captain Roper hoovered
up a vicious Tart strike - and to top it off Jezzer outfoxed a BA defender at
the bully to allow Tart to get his second. Soon it was 9-4 and BA were wishing
they were back home eating their tea. Goals from Captain Bill (2), Tart (2),
New Boy Max (2), Alpo, Captain Jezzer and 'Friendly Fire' Arnould saw the game
home.
A trip to the Concord Lounge saw some sarnies and chips consumed, not a BA
player to be seen! Mom: Alpo, DOD: Deano, Poet of the day: Bromley.
Our thanks to the BA team for hitting the self destruct button so early on and
we look forward to the return fixture on February 18th next year.
Mens 4th XI
Mens 5th XI
“To the School of the Reeds” we’re on track
But maps for the turn we did lack
Lets follow Pie man
Was a keen cunning plan
If we’re lost we’ll give G all the flack
Through the town and down the A3
We sped on ever so merrily
Was it first roundabout
Oh I wish I’d found out
And the multimap stuff was all free!
So we almost went left and not right
First turning or second a fright!
As he swung to and fro
So unsure where to go
Can we just not hit Jim… “Oh shite!”
Well we missed him and carried on straight
Is the next turning Kingston? Oh great!
But our Pie man in lead
Of our car centipede
Took us straight to the pitch and not late.
We warmed until game time was there
And we played like a team in despair
But we happened to score
Then popped in one more
Our Oppo thought things not so fair
Two more did we stick in the net
To the reds discontent I should bet
We still played like pants
To the defences rants
But no goals against us did we let.
Did I say “no goals” not correct
The last surge from the reds I suspect
As two men in at our back
Beat a goalwardly track
Fluffed the shot could our goaly collect?
With a stamp of his two mighty feet
And a snarl you could hear down the street
Out came our Fun Frank
With the ball there to spank
Clipped his stick and there went his clean sheet
Came the hour of votes what would be?
MOM DOD or off free?
There was plenty to choose
From the tired boys in blues
At the line there were two and not he
Number one was our Mr Smarty
Can fit two in his car and not three
From the pitch to the bar
Had followed the wrong car
But less votes he had, who could it be?
Our man who was Dick of the Day
Has his hands round the Wayne Kerr Trophy
With that swish of his stick
He felt just like a dick
Our chinookerly captain Gordy.
So as the evening begins it’s waning
And our back and our legs start paining
I’ve just this one thing
in your ears it will ring
You “bar stewards I’ll get you at training!”
Mens 6th XI
Mens 7th XI
Mens Centurions
Ladies 1st XI
Audpuss
Once upon a time
Not so long ago
There was right midfielder and her name was Mellie
There it is
It was an unusual clubhouse because it didn't sell anything (apart from booze)
You see, everything in that clubhouse window was a thing that somebody had once
lost (on a Saturday night usually...did anyone ever find Wee Lou's shoe?)
And Mellie had found
And brought back to Audpuss
Mellie's team mate Audpuss
The Most Important
The Most Beautiful
The Most Magical
Happy "old" cloth cat in the whole wide world
Well now, one day Mellie found a thing
And she brought it back to the clubhouse
And put it down in front of Audpuss
Who was in the clubhouse window fast asleep as usual
But then Mellie said some magic words
Audpuss, dear Audpuss
Old happy furry cat-puss
Wake up and look at this thing that I bring
Wake up, be bright
Be golden and light
Audpuss, Oh hear what I sing
And Audpuss was wide awake
And when Audpuss wakes up all her friends wake up too
The mice on the bar woke up and stretched
Claireleine, the rag doll (and Snatch of the Match)
Iveriel, the toad
And last of all, Professor Sha(y)ffle, who was a very distinguished coachpecker
He climbed down off his bookend and went to see what it was that Mellie had
brought
It was Eastcote and their firey dragon Doddie the Captain, who had a mouth on
her as wide as the Mersey Tunnel.
"Now, what shall we do with this lot then?" said Professor Sha(y)ffle.
"We will fix them, we will hit them, we shall make them run, run, run,"
sang the mice, "but first we must play the Marvellous Mechanical Mouse
Organ". Audpuss had taught them all how to play the previous Christmas
and this story could not be without the "Heave! Heave! Heave!". Unfortunately
Eastcote at this stage were lobbing the ball straight over Maggiemouse's head.
Ooops! Luckily Mellie had decided to put a thunderous ball past the 6ft giant
of Eastcote in return. Not to be outdone the mice came to the rescue and applied
the pressure on Eastcote and their dragon, who was blasting more and more flames.
"Can't you tell your dragon to stick her head in a bucket of water?"
suggested Katiemouse. Despite the time delaying and professional fouling from
Eastcote the mice tried and tried and tried to squash the opposition. Chandler
the travellermouse and the Alexmice kept the pressure on. Kezmouse and Suemouse
kept running and running. Strudsmouse and Angemouse kept the left hand side
of the organ pumping. But alas it was all too much and even Audpuss and her
glittery stick couldn't seal Eastcote's fate. "Never mind" said Professor
Sha(y)ffle. "You'll do them next time! Plus Elliemouse, GI Janemouse and
Rosmouse will be there too".
Audpuss gave a big yawn, and settled down to sleep
And of course when Audpuss goes to sleep, all her friends go to sleep too
The mice were leaning on the bar (again)
Iveriel and Claireleine were just dolls
And Professor Sha(y)ffle was a carved wooden bookend in the shape of a coachpecker
Even Audpuss herself once she was asleep was just an "old", happy
Doris of the Day
With cataract issues, and a bit loose at the seams
But Mellie (and the team) loved her.
To everyone who reads this: See you on Saturday 26th November for the 1st XI
do. The 3 Legged Disco featuring DJ Andy....and don't panic you'll only be tied
to someone for an hour! Please come along, support your club, help us drink
and it will be great craic. Be there by 8pm.
Ellie - hope you like the theme! We'll have a strawpedo for you.
or
Despite losing their 100% record on Saturday,Staines ladies remain top of the South Premier League on goal difference from Woking who they play a week on Saturday.In a bruising encounter,Eastcote showed all their experience in containing the home sides pressure and were grateful for the heroics of their 'keeper for several last ditch saves.Staines 'keeper Maggie Owens however did not touch the ball for the whole of the match,being given no chance with the opening goal from Eastcote's only shot of the game on 20 minutes.It didn't take long for Staines to equalize,Mel Martell scoring 4 minutes later from a penalty corner.Kerry Maskery and Sue O'Connell both went close before the break but it was honours even at the break.
The second half saw Staines camp in the Eastcote half for most of the 35 minutes.Man of the match Claire Woods successfully nulified the visitors only dangerous player and as they threw everything at Eastcote,Staines could not break down their defensive wall.Forwards Jo Ive,Alex Stacey and Alex Teasdale all worked tirelessly and deserved reward for their efforts but it was not to be the home side's day.
Staines travel to third placed Rover Oxford this week,hoping to have Ros Suter back from injury to lead the attack.They will take heart from a gutsy physical performance and will endeavour to not only remain unbeaten but look to return to winning ways this week.
Ladies 2nd XI
7 Ways to annoy coach Duncan
1) Turn up half an hour late for the match and happen to be the one person
in charge of the team water bottles.
2) Look complacent before the game as a team as if we have a divine right to
win. We weren't actually thinking this, just Duncan thought we looked like we
were from our laid back warm up and appearance before the match.
3) Only manage to score one goal in the first half (well taken short corner
strike by Ez) despite doing a lot of running, work and holding the oppo well
in the press. We missed several chances including a couple of sitters.
4) Conceding a silly goal not long after scoring ours - it wasn't silly in the
fact that it was not well taken by Teddington, but in the way in which they
were gifted the ball by us for a quick break on goal after too much "faffing/dribbling"
with the ball in midfield.
5) Apparently not listening enough to him at the half time team talk - where
despite us trying to rectify his opinion of us "playing the worst hockey
I have seen from the team this season" with much leg work and determination,
we still failed to score any more goals in the 2nd half.
6) Having a 12th player against us in the form of the Teddington umpire, who
did not give one short corner to us in entire 2nd half when we were attacking
his end of the pitch (despite a couple of blatantly obvious stick tackles/obstructions).
Duncan yet again got "spoken to" by the umpire. Have to admit that
I was also barracking him at that point, but Duncan's "choice" of
words were more "choice!"
7) Fail to beat a team who we should have beaten had we played in our usual
manner, who were bottom of the league and to be fair to them, probably deserved
their first point of the season in the end!
Noteable point: We must have succeeded in the above 7 points very well, as
coach Duncan was that annoyed, he didn't even stay for a post match debrief!
Sorry Duncan, but as bad as we were, there were still a few positive notes -
such as; at least we can play badly and still not lose, so at least when we
play well (having no doubt had a basting from him at training) this Saturday,
we should win (god help us if we don't!).
Ladies 3rd XI
Staines were playing a slightly different system after last week's game! We had a pep talk in the changing rooms which seemed to have worked wonders on the team with Juliet slotting one away within the first 2 minutes! It was a great goal and just what Staines needed to perk them up!
We continued to attack and looked pretty threatening in our new formation - if not tired at times! With Smithy managing the substitutions on the sideline we made sure that no on was playing with tired legs as such! We had scored again within 5 minutes of the first goal - Kate pushing this one over the line! Fab!!
The midfield worked tirelessly with Lauren and Jeanette in a dual centre midfield position - little Lauren running her legs off all over the shop. Great runs were also made by Debs and Linda (the other midfielders) with Burkie being subbed in at centre mid ...! We were more confident in each other and in our passes. Juliet had a little stormer in the first half working hard and quickly (!!). Yvonne was solid at the back as were Ingrid and Louby. Kate banged away another goal in the first half and we went into the half time break (quietly confident at) 3-0 up.
Super sub Lynsey came on for the first 20 minutes of the second half and continued to battle away in midfield which gave Staines more leverage over an increasingly frustrated NPL side which saw a few cards being doshed out by the umpires! Ingrid/Mum - I never knew you had it in you (but at least you stopped me from being Doris three weeks running!!) - being green carded! Not a good example to set lil' Lauren - but then the rest of the team aren't exactly Mother Superiors either!!
NPL threatened a little more in the second half and Chantel had a fair bit of work to do - she made some great saves (espcially that flick - well done Chants!!) but took Kerry out with a clearance! At least they didn't score.........
Well, that is until the dying seconds of the game when a short was awarded against Staines. Somehow they managed to score which was frustrating for us, but at least we won!!
Player of the match was closely contested, but went to Chantal.
Runners up were Lizzie and Lynsey! Doris of the day went to Ingrid Fear for
(as one vote put it) "bringing shame upon the team".
Ladies 4th XI
Captain Caro’ had a team
Ee i ee i o
And on that team she had some players (who all turned up in the right place this week)
Ee i ee i o
With a toot toot start (from Lauren)
And a shoot shoot pass
Here a pass there a shot
Everywhere a pass shot
Captain Caro’ had a team
Ee i ee i o
Captain Caro’ had a team
Ee i ee i o
And on that team she had a Vicky
Ee i ee i o
With a call call here
And a fall fall there
Here a call there a fall
Everywhere a fall fall (v acrobatic, not v useful - got her DOD)
Captain Caro’ had a team
Ee i ee i o
Captain Caro’ had a team
Ee i ee i o
And on that team she had a Lindsey
Ee i ee i o
With a run run here
And a run run there
Here a run there a run
Everywhere a run run (she just doesn’t stop! got her MOM)
Captain Caro’ had a team
Ee i ee i o
Captain Caro’ had a team
Ee i ee i o
And that team won on Saturday (2-0)
Ee i ee i o
With a good goal here and a great goal there (can’t remember who scored them sorry)
And no goals in the blue team's net (still top of the league)
Captain Caro’ had a team
Ee i ee i ooooooooooo!
Ladies 5th XI
Our team of girls arrived to play,
Against teddington in the rain
A team we knew would be hard to beat
But never the less a challenge we keep
Our defence did well with sweeping clears,
From penny at the rear.
To the mid fielders who ran it down
To try and score a goal for Staines town
The first half we did not do well
The second half we played like hell
4 went in over all with the final score 4-0
Man of the match- Kate
Doris of the day- Emma