Week 23

Suitably fired up for the game Staines started strongly, moving the ball nicely and pressing high up the pitch. This gave Blackheath problems and a few "heavy" tackles were seen inside the first few minutes. With Staines still pressing it was actually Blackheath who opened the scoring. Taking advantage of Staines pushing high up the field they broke and swiftly attacked to produce a tap in for their centre forward. 1-0 down was not part of Staines' plan and soon after they equalised through Stuart Hall after some good work through the midfield.

Quickly, Blackheath got back in the game, a tap in following some slack marking and a dubious penalty stroke were followed by a stunning finish by their centre forward who smashed the ball home from a seemingly impossible angle. At 5-4 the game was back on again and Staines were stirred back into action. Moving back to a short passing game, a period of possesion was finished by winning a penalty corner which was calmly despatched by John Stannard to give Staines a 6-4 lead with five minutes to go. This seemed to knock the stuffing out of Blackheath and Staines controlled the last few minutes of the game for the win.

A home match against a team lower than us in the league gave PTOTY the chance to resurrect their promotion chances, but alas a 3-3 was not what either side needed. But we'll take a point following a heavily depleted PTOTY turnout and a fairly dismal performance.

PTOTY were missing Skipper Watson (knee), Griggsy (knee), Bolton (camping), Humphreyseys (skiing), LeeRoy (missing, presumed dead), and Beno (missing, presumed asleep). Not great. And to make matters worse, Coach Duncan made himself available. This was not going to be our day.

Bravely, junior Dougy and PTOTY wannabee Andy Evans answered the call, but with so many regulars missing it was always going to be an uphill struggle. Shame, because we turned these boys over at their place and fancied another 6 pointer, but a combination of unlucky(poor) finishing and a determined effort to wind up the Umpire (and ourselves) from the first minute in, saw it end 3-3. And to be honest, we were lucky to get that.

Quick confession. I can't for the life of me remember what happened. I was too busy talking to Mark's dad. But I think PTOTY scored first. Short corner strike I think. Might have been JD. Or maybe Mark. But I'm fairly sure we went into the break 2-1 down. Which I guess means they scored twice.

I remember Skipper going mad at half time for players talking back at the Umpire, but he was drowned out by players talking back.

I think Purley then went 3-1 up immediately after half time, but then PTOTY got a jammy PF, which JD definitely took and definitely scored. 3-2 with about 15 to go saw PTOTY go all out for the equaliser. Which they duly got after numerous near-misses. But I wasn't watching, so can't tell you who got it. I was busy discussing whether Coach Duncan's watch was actually a girls watch with Sarah from the 1's. We both agreed it was. I think JD scored with 2 minutes to go.

So a pants game and we were lucky to escape with a point. Availability should be better this week and a trip down to Bournemouth awaits. No idea what will happen. Probably stick 10 past them now.

No MOM because we didn't bother voting. DOD should go to Griggs for a crap match report, and Coach Duncan would be in with a shout for asking "How long left!??" after FIVE minutes...but Barry steals it for vowing never to play PTOTY again. And he threw away his membership card. Naughty boy.

Yes, you read the result right. We beat West Hampstead after they haven’t lost all season. Jojo’s Blue Army were the ones strong enough to do it.

Another early start – which seem to agree more with certain team members than others (no names mentioned at this early stage!) – at Feltham this time. A well worked out warm up was taken, with Smithy passing on the dynamics (she complained of going over on her ankle – whatever!?) and then some essential ball stick work and we were ready to go. Ah, slight problem, we’ve only got one umpire. Apparently the other was on his way… Well, it gave us a few more minutes for inspired team talk by every member of the team and a rendition of “Is This The Way To Amarillo?” to keep us warm whilst mistaking WH’s coach for a rubbish collector!

Finally, the long awaited battle commenced. Off went the Blue Army raring to go with Burkie’s demands ringing in their ears. With our strong forward line of Michelle, Ju and Lauren how could we go wrong? The pressure was on WH and they were uncomfortable with it, our press dominating them and forcing them to make mistakes. Juliet defiantly scored first out of free play – I have no idea how long it took because unusually I wasn’t timing the game. It was a great goal and a pleasure to see Mrs Hughes continue her goal scoring habits! Calm down ladies, urged Burkie, and get back on it. Well, no one messes with Burkie (as Teddington will agree!) and we were off again. WH were a little upset not to be winning despite having a squad of 57 against our 11. But wait, what is this we see before us?! Could it be Anika? Hurrah, we have a 12th man. Once she was on, she managed to daze WH and it wasn’t just with her silky skills…….

Anyway, short corner practice seemed to have worked and Lizzie temporarily forgot which sport she was playing as she practically batted the ball in past WH’s defence and keeper! Hurrah for the Blue Army! We had really rattled WH’s cage now and you could hear it in their coach’s voice especially. Despite our perseverance, we couldn’t create anything more than hassle for WH in the first half.

We went into half time, knowing we were doing well and that we could keep going at our pace. We were dictating the game and that’s the way it should stay.

The second half came and WH came back at us with a little aggression (well, they were 2-0 down) and made a few charging runs into our defence. Luckily, with such a wealth of experience and talent in the defence we remained in the driving seat. The alarming amount of short corners awarded to WH was a little disturbing, but we were ok. That was until the unknown 13th man came into play – Burkie’s bunion! Luckily it wasn’t in scoring mode today and decided to stop a WH goal from going in. Penalty flick screeched WH and the umpire. “Good luck Chants”. During flicks, it is always difficult to decide whether to watch or not. Luckily, Chants was in goal and knew that she had to watch! Unlike half the squad who looked away – Burkie’s bunion was particularly not looking as Chantel SAVED THE FLICK!! O yes, we were still on top!! HURRAH!!

Our joy was relatively short lived as WH clawed a goal back through a short corner but hey, we were still winning.

Indeed we did win. Yes, that is correct – we beat West Hampstead. Thanks to Coaches Sticky and Tim for their help and support and also to Burkie’s bunion for constantly playing devil’s advocate.

As has been the case over the last few weeks – there was no clear cut choice for man of the match – everyone played out of their skins and no-one could really be singled out. Well done ladies – I’m proud of ya!!

However, there can be only one Doris. This week it went to Anika for getting rather confused and turning up at Faulkners for a 10am push back rather than Feltham……

Later on that evening, we held an extremely successful race night with the men’s 3rd XI raising trillions of pounds for the club and enjoying a few celebratory beers!!

Next week – PHC Chiswick? Will we ever get to play them? Will Debs be able to “re-score” her goal? Will Smithy ever actually get on the pitch!? Find out on Saturday………..!!

"Once more into the breach dear friends, once more....."

A classic fixture – they’d even brushed the sand on the pitch into neat lines in honour of the occasion which we messed up pretty quickly in a warm up that lacked its usual coordination due to an absent Wendy. Lined up in standard formation we waited for the signal to begin.

It seemed that the Glorious Fours were still in bed though and a different team had turned out to do battle with our old adversary. The Sleepy Fours were lucky to have held the game to nil nil by the time umpire Greg blew the whistle after a scrappy first half. No casualties but not much glory either.

KathB did a good job of waking us up at the half time talk (shouting will do that) and for the next fifteen minutes we played to our more usual standard. Jules picked up the ball in the d and hammered in our first goal with a force that might have left a dent in the backboard. First blood to the SHCG4's. A few minutes later Fe scored off the rebound from a short corner - her first goal of the season.

This was our cue to go back to sleep again and whilst we didn’t let any in, 2-0 against this side was a little disappointing.

Karen had a great game and the clean sheet reflects her efforts in goal. MOM this week to Fe who provided some much needed movement in mid-field and was always back in defence when required. DOD went to Vikkie – a little harsh as she did turn up to sub despite being quite ill and we needed her at one point (she was half dead by the time she got off the pitch from her ten minute stint!). But in her determination to be on time this week she did almost run someone over on the way to the game and then sat in the changing rooms insisting that all the drivers that turned up a few minutes late should be given DOD – a move guaranteed to get the votes for herself - ask and you shall receive Viks x

It was Saturday but we know we can do better than this. We’re back up to 2nd in the league but with a few difficult games to go we’ll need to regain our standard to maintain our position. "Onwards, for England, Staines and the Glorious Fours..."