Reviewed 03/01/01
In the Christmass of 2001 the BBC showed a season of Universal Pictures horror movies. I must admit, I only watched this film because I happened to catch part of the documentary the BBC showed about the Universal Monsters. The documentary went on about the set design, and the fact that the whole thing was filmed in just 19 days. The scene they showed from the movie was Boris Karloff being tortured by Bella Legosi.
Well, with that for a build up, I just had to watch the whole thing.
The plot is as mad as the characters that Karloff and Legosi play. Disposable American newly weds (can't remember their names and lets face it there only there to be harassed) are on holiday in the Carpathian mountains. The Transylvanian Tourist Board having one success at least with their "Carpathia - We've got Impalers to spare" campaign. But I digress. The chipper couple are sharing an intimate carriage for two, when the Curse of Railtrack strikes, and the conductor asks if Mr Legosi can join them until the next stop as there has been a double booking. For some reason the couple agrees, and Legosi recounts the tale of how he is going to visit an old friend.
Well, there's more goings on at the station and the couple and Mr Legosi hire a car to take them the short distance to wherever it is they are going. The night is both stormy and dark, so the driver of the car informs everyone that they are now passing through one of the bloodiest battlefields of the Great War. A fortified bunker held by the allies was taken by the Germans when the commander of the bunker turned traitor. At least I think that's what happened, the drivers story was interrupted by him driving the car off the road, hitting a tree and getting himself killed. Bella and the young lovers, trudge off to find Mr Legosi's friend who will put them up for the night.
So far, so good. But it turns out that Bella's friend is Mr Karloff, who has built his home on the ruins of the old WWI bunker. Not only that, but he was also the old commander of the bunker, and had married Bella's wife when she thought Bella had died in a prisoner of war camp. Once the happy American couple are tucked up safely for the night, Karloff takes Bella to see his wife, who Karloff just happens to have encased in a glass coffin, standing in the hallway of the underground bunker. This upsets Bella slightly, and he begins to plot Karloff's downfall.
Now our nice American couple are still oblivious to all these goings on, however that all changes when Karloff takes a shine to Mrs Disposable American, and decides he wants to sacrifice her at his next black mass. Didn't I mention Karloff was a big ol' Satanist? Must have slipped my mind. Anyway, Mr Disposable American is locked up in the bunker and Mrs American is taken of to be "Prepared". The Mass itself is interrupted when it all gets to much for one of the invited Satanist guests, who's screaming fit allows Bella enough of a distraction to free Mrs American.
The final scenes of the film include the Bella on Karloff torture scene, and lots of people being shot and taking ages to die.
This is a gem of a film. The kind of totally insane, overwrought, set in the Carpathian Mountains melodrama of a film, that you could not make now unless it was such a knowing self parody that that all the actors would continually wink at the audience.
Bella and Karloff are great, the script stinks and the plot is such a mess that even the 30's film censors didn't know what was going on. As a result they left all of the good stuff in. Do yourself a favour and search this one out, I promise you will not be disappointed.
8/10
"Arrrrgh!"
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