Oh God he's going to try and make a jump for it. They'll be peeling him off the runaway. No you don't, friend. It's amazing what momentum can do--he's got to be twice my weight. Probably could have shoved me away with one hand if he hadn't been in a blind panic. There. Hatch shut. Too late now. We're going up. I feel the skip in my stomach as the wheels leave the ground. Even with all hell breaking loose that thrill is still there. Now is not the time for it. Put it away. Concentrate. Looks like B.A. felt us lift too--he's gone rigid, eyes glazed over. Well at least he's not trying to fling himself out of the plane or throttling me for stopping him.
Okay, think. Think. Come on B.A. Wakey, wakey. Come on! Snap out of it! You are not allowed to lose it. I'm the one who's supposed to lose it here. I have the monopoly on nuttiness in this team and you are not going to corner the market with this catatonic routine. Oh come on? Please? Wake up? Get angry. Hit something. Yell at me for getting you into this. Do something!
No? All right. Just stay put. Guess you're going to do that anyway. I'm pretty sure no one's going to come down here and find you. I'll go and find the others. Dammit this was not in the plan. Hell of a day to find out I'm sane eh? Maybe the stress will give me a relapse. Sounds like a good idea actually. I'd quite like a break from reality about now. No. No. First things first. Got to tell the others what's going on. Now is not a good time to lose it. One reality failure at a time we can cope with. Tag, B.A. you're it.
+
Damn crawlspaces. How does anyone fit through these things? They deliberately breed scrawny engineers or something? I mean, I'm pretty narrow and I'm cramped in here. Tap tappetty tap. You better be listening 'cause I'm only doing this once.
+
Oh great. Just lovely. Just what we needed--a firefight in a pressurised aircraft. This is really, really not the place for this, guys! And there we go. Hole in the side of the plane. I surely didn’t guess that was going to happen. Now we’ve got a nice windstorm in here. How much better is this day going to get?
+
I had to ask didn’t I? Had to tempt the universe to take another swipe, as if it doesn’t already have it in for me. Keep calm, keep calm. Can’t see. Not good. Definitely not good. Don’t panic. Get out of the crossfire, you don’t need to be shot as well. Oh God, I can’t see. Panic. Don’t panic. Can’t lose it. We’re still in the air. Not allowed to lose it flying. Leave me alone, Hannibal. I don’t want to know how bad it is. Don’t be stupid. They’re trying to help you. They’re your friends. They’re not going to let anything happen to you. And you can’t let anything happen to them. You still have to get this plane down. Let Hannibal look. Powder burn. I could have guessed that. Think sensibly. It’s not bad. It’ll heal fine. Your eyes will be fine. Don’t lose it. Just worry about landing.
Landing. Landing without seeing. Well you’ve always said you could fly blindfolded, guess now’s the time. Okay. Hannibal’s got the controls. He’s not going to panic so you can’t either. Just talk him through. Concentrate on that. Don’t worry about anything else. You’re still flying. Still in the air. Still safe.
+
Down. I hit the brakes but I already know we’re down safe. I ought to feel relieved but I just feel tired and cold. Post-adrenalin shivers. All I want is to go home and sleep for a week. Oh. Can’t go home. Home isn’t the V.A. anymore. They think I don’t belong there any more. I’d forgotten about that.
+
I don’t want to do this. All my stuff is here. We’re just picking it up. No fuss all right? I want to make a fuss. I want to kick and scream and make them realise I need to be here. There’s that doc now. The one who chucked me out. Acting weird isn’t he? Here come the nurses. They look surprised to see me. Guess I did leave a bit quick. Where have I been, they say. They wouldn’t believe me if I told them. Maybe I should tell them anyway. If they thought I was imagining things maybe they’d let me stay.
It takes me a little while to realise that they’re saying I should have stayed. The doc lost it, sent all his patients away. I can stay? I’m home? This time I don’t restrain myself. All the pent up emotion of the past two days bubbles over and I practically fall into my room and roll over on my bed. My bed. My room. Safe at home.