All of You  - by Preacher John - from Feb '09

It's too soon
Too soon to see you again
Too soon to hold you - chaste as a friend
My skin still hungers for you
And my mouth
And my heart
I still long for you
All of you
- not just the half you deigned worthy of keeping
I ache for you to fill my embrace again
With your overflowing softness -
the warmth and weight of you
I miss you
I miss all of you
I am defeated by you
I had hoped
wished
dreamed
that if only I loved you enough
You would see your glory reflected in my eyes
And be - somehow - healed
Of a lifetime of
Inculcation, abuse and ostracism
You were the perfect cute fat girl of my dreams
Stepped living, breathing, laughing
from my furtive boyhood drawings
Even then I knew
That it was your alabaster skin
Your flame red hair
Your green eyes
Your hot mouth and sharp wit
Your full-wide hips
and round, sweet breasts
and every inch and ounce
of your belly's pillow
and your strong, thick, beautiful thighs
And most of all your incredible, callipygian arse
You were who I was made for
It was you I was built to love
But, I failed you,
And despite my love lavished
And protests long and loud
You began to starve and vanish
And as you diminished
So did the song you roused
In me, my heart, my cock
I mourned the loss of your back roll
Which had filled my hands in hugs
I grieved for the disappearance of your overbutt - penthouse as it had been
to your rare, fair ghetto booty
And I began to tear inside
As I discovered bit by bit
that you were someone I loved
At the same time you were melting away from me
Slipping from my grasp
Vanishing by pounds and inches
My deepest animal-self knew
you were dying
Death of a thousand cuts
And so, within me a crack, a fissure, yawned
between love and lust
And as you became less and less, day by day
So I became less whole
and more at war in myself
Acid boiled in my belly
as i tried to digest the insoluble
Still I held on
as you grew, smaller, thinner, harder
Until that thing in me that held on -
Snapped
And I could no more watch you starve
and "normalise" yourself
So I broke, and I broke it off
But I still hunger for you
All of you

Back to Preacher John Main Page