advice
from Dr Bob
Not
all you read in those medical papers is true....and who said
alcohol is bad? Hear are some mythbusters to put your fears
to rest. So crack open another bottle of vino!
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.
Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't
waste it on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding
up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying
you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want
to live longer? Take a nap!
Q: Should I cut down on meat
and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat?
Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is
nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables
to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good
source of field grass (green leafy vegetables). And a pork chop
can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable
products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol
intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled
wine. That means they take the water out of the fruity bit so
you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made
out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat
ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio
is 1:1. If you have two bodies 2:1, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages
of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: no
pain...Good.
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for
you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING! Foods are fried in vegetable oil these
days. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more
vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent
me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.
You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for you?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO...Cocoa Beans...another vegetable! It's
the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your
figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important
for my lifestyle?
A: Hey, ROUND is a shape.
Well, I hope this has cleared up any
misconceptions you may have had about food and diets and remember,
"Life should NOT be a journey to
the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive
and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, Chardonnay
in one hand, chocolate bar in the other, body thoroughly used
up, totally worn out and screaming YAHOO.
Thank you, Dr. Bob!
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